What is Bereavement
Grief is a multi-faceted response to loss. Although conventionally focused on the emotional response to loss, it also has a physical, cognitive, behavioural, social and philosophic...
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My Boyfriend Died....
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Hello. My name is Deej and I lost my boyfriend last week on June 24th 2009. He had a massive heart attack out of the blue. I was the last person he spoke to over the phone. I feel horrible, devastated, and lonely.
What happened was that the week before he died we got into argument and were both very frustrated with one another. So we stopped talking. Then, he called me out of the blue on Tuesday the 23rd. At first I was mad and was not going to pick up the phone. On the third ring something told me to pick it up, so I did. It was him and he sounded like he was in soooo much pain. At first I thought what is he trying to pull. Then when I asked he told me that his chest was burning and it was hurting him so bad. I then panicked, and asked him what was he doing before. He stated that he was playing basketball and soon developed chest pains. He said he came home and called me. He told me that he had no one else to call. I said that I would call EMS for him. At first he didn't want me to call, but then said ok. I kept him on the phone and called EMS. Once I got off the phone I just kept telling him how he was going to be ok and he will be fine. He told me he felt like he was going to die. I told him no honey...your not, everything will be ok. I continuously kept trying t o comfort him. Finally EMS came to his door and he let them in. I heard them talking to him asking him all kinds of questions. I just kept hearing him cry out for pain. He finally came back on the phone and told me he would call me back when he got to the hospital..... Then that was it. I never heard from him again. Doctor called me at 5am....He told me that he didn't make it. He had a massive heart attack and they tried to revive him. But he didn't wake up..... I am in utter disbelief.....I am in shock.......I'm devastated.....I don't know what to do with myself. I keep crying every time I close my eyes. His wake is tomorrow 7/1...and his funeral is 7/2....I really can't cope with this. I keep trying to wake up from this dream. But it's not.....I feel like my life ended.....I am so sad...I need to talk with someone....I need help desperately...... How do I begin to cope.......??? Posted on 06/30/09, 11:06 pm |
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first off, I wantto express my deepestheartfelt sympathy to you in this terrible painful time. when a loved one diessuddenlyit seems to make it so much harder.there isno timeto get "prepared" emotionally. i am glad that he calledyou forhelp,and that you didgetto talk tohimthatonelasttime, although I know it wont soften theblow. youdideverything youcouldtohelphimget medical help. again i am so sorryand fel so badfor yourpainandsuffering. write me anytime you justfeel liketalking my prayers are with you virginia 
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Dear Deej,
I am so sorry for your loss and you will have the strength to get through the guneral and the loss. I find it important that he called you in a moment that he needed and you should never forget that, that when he was in need he reached out to you, that's what love is all about. Also, keep in mind you did what you could, you conforted him when he needed and you helped him so much. This is very important and that you treasure this in your heart. My sister has passed awya 2 months ago, after being at the hospital for just 4 weeks and I did my best to help her. I will never forget the moment she held my hand to say goodbye and then left in peace. I believe that we are where we need to be at when our loved ones passed away and you were there for him, thats extremely important and it will allow you to keep going. Feel free to add me as a friend, I will do my best to help in anyway I can. My thoughts are with you, I wish you all the strength in your heart for this difficult moment. Love,
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I am so sorry for your loss. Please know that you did everything you could for him and I am sure that he knows how much you love him. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
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Im so sorry for your loss, that must be aweful. Im here for you if you need someone to talk to. My husband passed in april from liver disease and we were with him. It was hard but peaceful. just take strength from the lord and your freinds and family.
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Thank you guys so much for reading my post. I am having such a difficult time with this. I am crying at everything. I can't stop thinking about him. I'm very nervous about going to his wake tonight. I'm scared to see him lying in a casket. I think I'm going to have a break down when I see him. I know people tell you that it will be ok and that I will get through this, but he was my rock. He would be the one I would call for the support. He would be the one to hold me and tell me that I will be ok. But now, I have no one. I feel so alone. I'm trying to pull it together before I go but I don't think I can. Please pray for me that I will find the strength to get through this day and tomorrow. Thank you all for your well wishes.
God Bless...xoxo
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DeeJ,
I am very, very sorry about your boyfriend. Words are never enough at times like these. I lost my 37 year old son 4 years ago, in a car wreck, on July 6th. We as humans never understand this type of thing. I don't know the age of your boyfriend but, I am assuming he was relatively young too. We expect older people to pass away but when a young person passes so suddenly, it just doesn't make sense to us. You talking to him on the phone the last time has got to be very difficult now but, in the days and months to come, you will be glad you picked up the phone and tried to comfort him. I will keep you in my prayers young lady because the next few days are really going to be tough for you. Losing my son was the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with. God Bless Oldbiker
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I am so very sorry for your loss. The viewing and the funeral are going to be hard to get thru, but you can do it. I think it is important for you to know that you were the one he turned to when he needed someone the most and that you did everything in your power to do. I am here if you want to talk. (((((Hugs)))))))))
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I am so sorry for your loss, but thank God you got to speak to him again. There are no words that can take away your pain. All I can say is to take one day at a time or at times one step at a time. You are in my thoughts and prayers
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Thank you all again for your kind words. I really appreciate them and I am very happy that I found this site. Talking with others that have a similar situation always helps.
But I wanted to update you. So I just got back from the wake. This was my first time seeing him. I cried my eyes out. He looked so different, but I knew it was his body...just not his soul. And people spoke about him. I could not. I could not bring myself to do so. I just listen to all the kind words people were saying. It was such a powerful service. I actually brought myself up to see him. He looked so peaceful, like he was sleeping. I know he was proud of me that I went up there and and prayed next to him. It was so hard, but I did it. I realized how much he really meant to me and how he made such an impact on my life. I still feel very alone, but very thankful he was apart of my life. I still wish he was here to hold and comfort me and to tell me that I will be ok. I miss him so much....The next test is the funeral and the burial with his mother. I still feel upset and lonely.....hopefully I will make it again. Thanks...xoxoxoxo
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Deej,
I have to say that you should be proud of yourself for having the strength to say your final goodbye to him. I understand that you feel alone because he was your companion, I had exactly the same relationship with my sister. We were always together and if we werent we would call and email each other even living 15 minutes apart. With my sister's departure, I understood and learnt that I have to let her go, I do feel alone and even though I have a lot of brothers and sisters, no one was like my sister. He is unique to you and your love for him will prevail and help you continue living your life. He will also be watching over you, because thats what he did here on earth and will continue doing so in Heaven. You should allow yourself to feel sad, we are entitled to, to grief for as long as it is needed, so take your time. I went to my home country for a month after the loss of my sister and I dont regret at all leaving behind my work and my friends here, because I needed my moment with my family and to respect my feelings for the love I have for my sister and to cry also for this loss. All the best,
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