Bereavement Support Group

Candeda,

You do what you feel right is in your heart to do. I went after the guy that killed my son for a number of reasons.

1. He left my son laying in a ditch like a dead animal.

2. He walked home, went to bed, and slept for 10 hours.

3. When he got up, he called authorities and said my son
stole his vehicle during the night.

4. He called numerous people, asking them if they had seen
my son driving his "stolen vehicle".

5. He hid his bloody clothes in his neighbors trash can so the
Police couldn't find them.

6. He lid to the Police when he described how he received
the injuries on his head and legs. He said he fell looking
for firewood the previous weekend, while camping.

When I was contacted by my daughter, I got the the details of the crash, what the State Police had found and what CSI had found.as to what this driver did, I felt everything he done was done to cover his own behind so, I went after him. It took me 2 years to get it to trial. I think he got about 12 continuances etc. He got 4 years probation, $8500 fine and 45 evenings in jail. He was released every morning to go to work then, come back to the jail to eat and sleep. He showed no remorse in my opinion and everything he done was for his own benefit.
I was not satisfied wit the verdict but, I had no other recourse.

Candeda,
You don't give any details of the accident, or say how old the boys were. So in that respect it's hard to comment.
However: you strike me as being a wonderful person!
What would your son have wanted? If it was an accident,rather than anything malicious,would he want his best mate in trouble? I would imagine the poor boys punishment is having to carry your sons death on his shoulders for the rest of his life. That's without ,as I said,knowing the full circumstances.
It must be a really hard situation to be in,don't think there are any right or wrong answers. Look after yourself.

No you are not wrong. In these matters you must follow your heart. I would tell the boy how you feel. His loss is extreme as well. You two have much in common as far as the level of greif

Just my 2 cents worth. Alos, nobody and I mean NOBODY can tell you how to greive (as long as it is healthy and balanced i.e. not drugs drink etc)

Blessings

No I don't think that you are wrong. Maybe this boy needs you to reach out to him and let him know that you don't blame him. You have to follow your heart, doesn't matter what you family thinks or says. And let yourself grieve, and remember that there is no right or wrong way to do that. Well except for by drinking or taking drugs so that you don't feel anything. But you know what I mean I am sure
((((((Hugs)))))) to you.

I don't think you are wrong. Enough lives have been destroyed, and his is going to be very difficult. He probably has wished many times that it was him and not your son. What do you think your son would want you to do? Take care, and stop being so hard on yourself. Living everyday without our sons is difficult enough without people putting guilt onto you. You have to do what you need to do - just to survive this new life we have.

Thank you so mch your words mean so much. I never had family support befor this an none after, i know that they miss him ,but know that they wish it was me an not him, witch is o.k. cause they missed out on so much, an he touched sooooo many, an the boy that was driveing was his friend an he has to carry this arond is so much for any but to be 18 an was just giveing a ride from the mud hole cause he knew they were going out to eat. Matthew may have only been 15 to some but the soul never goes to far, guess thats why we count birthday, then Angel dates cause we still keep counting the time we got,had ,miss, an share with others, an with them. Matthew let me know that he's always rideing on my shoulder we just have to to live with them in diff. way we never hhave enough time so i'm thankfl that memorys last forever,..i guess i just wont him to know that theres no ill towards him. i just hate that he has to live with this. yo can read y journal if you wont writeing about other ppl. or what happened to to a point but to tell what happened to my son is hard..hope you understand, sorry if i made hard to understand....candeda

it hard to understand ..

thank you so much you all mean all help meso muchcandeda......