Bereavement Support Group

Oh honey, I know what you mean, and if pretending works on occassion then use it, but eventually you will have to face the trueth. Even when I was grieving and was trying to deal with moms death I would sometimes feel like it simply was not true and that she was gone somewhere and would someday walk through the door.
I was driving to our place in the mountains and it was the first time going without her....I felt so alone and sad, then right out of nowhere I smell her. It was coming from the passenger side and I smiled..softly crying thanking her for coming with me.
After that I knew she was always with me and that I could survive.
Like I mentioned before I finally got some grief counseling.
Huggs and kisses:))))

Well, it is not so stupid. Mom is away, and contact is not always easy, so if it helps you, by all means imagine mom on vacation somewhere lovely! Of course it still hurts love, there is no time limit on grieving, you must take all the time you need. It is a really tough life lesson - but for what it's worth, I think you are doing splendidly. Remember we are all here because we are in that same classroom, so we are looking out for you. (((Hugs)))

I see a few problems with this, it stops the grieving process that you have already started and throws you into denial which may be difficult to come out of without outside help.
It may sound innocent enough, but then your mind will start to play games on you and you might not be able to desiphar which is real and which is not.
Under the care of a professional, guided imagery may help give you closure where you are in control, but it may not be suitable until you are far enough in healing or in the presence of a professional that is experienced in that area.
I am speaking from experience and thank God I was in the hospital at the time becuz it almost sent me into a catatonic state.
I know you are in immense pain right now and are grasping for anything to take the pain and loss away. The only way to heal is to go through the pain. I know it sucks big time and that is why working with a grief counselor is so important.
Plz be careful and seek grief counseling.

This made me tear up. I hate it when my friends tell me TALK TO HER!....Melissa, I know it is difficult. i feel your pain. But pretending mom is in spain may slow down the process. As Ms Blank has said....it would be a form of denial. You love your mom and that is why it hurts. This grief is a form of love. It is ok to cry...it is more than ok to weep. I understand how hard it is to "talk to mom".... if it is too hard dont talk....write....but get it out sweetie because it MUST come out. I have been there I tried to pretend my mom was in Africa for a little while like she always wanted to be but then eventually reality hit me and i came crumbling down. And it was painful as if she died again....dont do it to your self ....God gave you these feelings and these tears but its like medicine ...it taste horrible but it is good for us.... i always feel better after a very ugly cry. But i know it hurts heaven is a very bitter sweet place...it is sweet for our moms but incredibly bitter for us. Take comfort in your faith .......if you cant talk to Mom then talk to God...Tell him THIS FREAKIN SUCKS!!! and take comfort that he knows. You are not alone "darlin" We are in this together. and it may be helpful to join some form of counseling. a grief support group....a lot of hospice have support groups for free.... love you! please be good to yourself and grieve healthy

This is not crazy at all, I don't think the "acceptance" part of grieving really exists. Even a year now after my dad passed, I can't still believe he's gone. You still live your life, and the pain does get easier to deal with after time, but I think that's because you get used to them not being around every day, and in your mind you can just think they are "away". So, I don't think your line of thinking is wrong at all. Your mom is on a beautiful vacation somewhere right now, and eventually you'll see her again, just not today. And, even though we're grieving our parents, it's important to keep on living and make the best of our lives, something that would make them happy and proud.

Thank each one of your for your feedback and love. I was not able to work today because the grief was so overwhelming for me. All I did was sleep most of the day and cry. Then after reading all of your posts I decided that i am staying in reality and accepting mom has really died but that she is on a heavenly vacation waiting for me to join her one day. Mom lives on..... And yes Tara this FREAKIN SUX! But it helps SO much to have you all share your experiences, strength and hope with me. God has blessed me with many little angels to help me stay afloat! Hugs to you all! Melissa

Sleep is so good for you. You have taken a beating Childie, and both sleeping and weeping are ways in which to release the pain. All normal, believe me! Be kind to yourself darling - You do not have to be strong, just understand that death is not the end and reunion does and will happen in the fullness of time xxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi...I have had BAD days when I couldn't function at all. Just as I thought that won't happen again after two years, it hit me again on my birthday this year. I don't remember what started it, but I cried all day, till it was too much....and then I slept. I was woken up by my cousins and friends for a surprise b'day party/visit and it kinda ended well.

It is okay to feel down one moment/day and fine the next. That's why grief is compared with waves. Hang in there girl, you'll be okay.

Take care....