Bereavement Support Group

Hi April,

I have never experienced losing a sibling and I can't imagine what you must be feeling. But I can understand feeling like you need someone there for you while you try to be there for everyone else. Have you tried any groups or support networks near to where you live? I don't know how long ago you lost your brother or how but it has helped me going to a place which my loved one enjoyed being and just sitting there and thinking about them. I know its something so small but it just helped me to feel close to them again. I really hope you get through this grief soon and things start to get better for you!
xxxx

Hi April,
I'm so sorry for the loss of your brother, it is a very difficult journey to get through. I lost my 31 yr old son, then a year later my brother, and 8 months ago my mother. I don't know how recent your loss is but the first few months I was going through what you shared, and was in a fog.I sought help through a grief counselor, normally hospice offers one on one or group counseling to those who have lost loved ones, free or a very small fee. They help even if your brother wasn't on hospice. I find comfort in coming in this group because we have all walked this path. Be gentle with yourself, try to eat well and get rest. You can also journal here on the site and elect to share it or make it private. You don't have to do this alone, as we will be here to help you through this journey.I believe we will meet our loved ones again in heaven, as they will be there waiting til we are reunited again. You will be in my thoughts and prayers, and please reach out if you need to talk, or have someone to listen. Hugs to you.....Lori

One day at a time dear one. We are here for you, and we really do understand

I lost my brother too. The pain is really raw for the first few months, but the gaping hole does chafe and get filled, with new delights, new people, etc. Delight in your children.

I found what helped me was watching VIDEOS of my brother when he was alive and well. Just hearing the sound of his soothing voice, and seeing him, moving, in explicit detail...it's just like he would come walking in through the door again, like always.

What also helped me was when I began embracing my brother when we "crossed paths" when I was dreaming. At first, I was freaked out about dreaming of him, but then I figured, "fuck it", and pushed further into the dream. Total peace, love and relaxation, just like when he and I used to hang out in the flesh.

I believe dreams are where we can visit the other side...while still in our bodies...some nights when we sleep. If you "see" your brother in a dream, don't be afraid; go to him.

Now, my brother's spirit is very much with me, his sense of humor, all the good things I remember about him, and the pain of those last dreadful months of his life is, for the most part, a distant memory (oh, sure, there are flare-ups every now and then, when I find myself right back there in that dark place, watching him die, being totally helpless to do anything about it, and torn between wanting to be there, completely, emotionally, for him, and wanting to disassociate, because my mind didn't want to accept what my eyes were seeing).

It's been 5 years.