Bereavement Support Group

You will all get through this, because your brother will be supporting you and your parents. Grieve together, do not try to be strong, You need to cry so that you can begin to heal. We will lovingly be with you here on DS and will listen to whatever you need to say. You are numb at the moment - accept that because it cushions the initial blow. Know that your brother has crossed over, and our turn will also come. We will be united when our day comes, and until it does, be faithful in the tasks that you still have to finish here. Love to you all.

Hi - I am so sorry for your loss. I know what it is like to lose a brother - and worse totally unexpected at a young age. I lost my only sibling, a brother when he was 30 and I was 28. It's been a few years but I don't know if I've really ever dealt with it. He was killed by a drunk driver. My mom had passed away many years previous to that and my dad passed away 2 years ago. I am the only one left in my family of origin. You kind of expect that when you get older and lose your parents at some point that you will still have your siblings. I wonder at times how things would be different if he was still here and it's really hard. If you need help, Hospice sometime has groups for support with losing a sibling. Sometimes churches have loss recovery groups also. Take care, - stillearning57

beautysleepangel ~ My brother died in a motorcycle accident 36 years ago when he was 16 years old....5 days before my 15th birthday. It left me an only child and the one picking up the pieces for my parents.
It has been a long road to go alone, but with help from a grief counselor and hard work, I have been able to carry on....which is what my brother would have wanted. I know that sounds hollow to you right now, but you will understand what I am saying down the road.
Right now, everything is so raw and you are still in shock.
Unfortunately, my parents never recovered and my dad just passed 4 months ago. It is not natural to bury your children and the repercussions are devistating on the parents.....and the siblings as well. At least my parents had each other to cling to, but I had nobody.
My brother died when counselors were not available to the public when tragedy struck a school aged child....so most of us muddled through. I was treated by my peers and teachers like I had leprosy. It was so painful to enter a room full of ppl that fell silent as they looked on with pity and an occasional whisper and gasp amongst the guests. I learned to clam up which in turn caused me to have a break down 15 years later. Do talk with a grief counselor or seek a grief group as they can be very helpful.
Siblings are considered the forgotten mourners as most if not everyone is busy taking care of the parents and forget that the kids mourn too (young kids mourn differently than adults). Bottling up your grief so that you can pick up the pieces for your parents can be delaying your work with the grieving process which is necessary in being able to carry on.
I found it helpful to journal....I wrote poems to my brother as I never had the chance to say goodbye as his death came quickly and without warning. I did visualizations with a grief counselor so I could have closure and say my goodbyes on my terms. It is normal and necessary to get angry. I bottled up my anger at God for snatching my brother away from me and leaving me alone. I remember the day in therapy when the dam broke forth and all the anger came pouring out like a flood. I am here to tell you that God is big enough for your anger and once it comes out....you will feel so much better.
Once you acknowledge and express your anger at the unfairness and the pain.....you can continue to work on healing....I promise. You might experience the anger stage many times, but the intenisty will lesson throughout the years.
No one will ever take the place of your brother, but there will be others to help you and befriend you.....let them.
Be kind and gentle with yourself as your grieving will take time and I mean a lot of time. I still experience moments of sadness 36 years later becuz the fabric of our relationship was tightly woven. I have not forgotten my brother, but much has faded with time. I have remained friends with one of my brothers friends and we talk about him often which helps retrieve forgotten memories. We even talk about when we will see him again which has given solace to us all.
Know that you never have to go through your loss alone. Reach out to others and let them in instead of building walls (it is normal to want to build walls). Keep sharing your sweet brother and honor him through your own life :)
You will get through this even though it doesn't feel like it right now. Yes, your life is forever changed, but it can and will be good again.
(((((((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))

Im so sorry to hear this

Hi, I'm so sorry for you and your family, I lost my sister when she was 26 to a very rare cancer, I'm not the only child now I have a brother and another sister. I know how tough this is for you and I was numb for a very long time unti I finally went to a grief counselor. It takes a long time I won't lie but things do get better, your parents are going through a much different kind of pain, the loss of a child has got to be the worst kind of loss, I never understood what my parents were going through and really still don't but I have children myself now so I can empathize a little more but you need to grieve and talk and see a grief counselor, if you need to talk anything I'm here. I'm so sorry

I am so sorry for your loss. I too lost a brother in June from a heart thing...he was playing ultimate frisbee and dropped dead on the field. He was only 34. Life changes instantly...the Family order changes when you go from sibling to only child. I grieve every day and my parents are coping...but it definitely changes your family forever. Will keep you in my prayers

I too lost my brother when he was 40. He had Stage IV cancer and died of sepsis shortly after the operation to remove the affected area of his colon.

My parents have been coping. They're strong. My mom buries herself in work and dealing with her elderly customers who also have health problems. My dad plays golf with his buddies and watches his stocks. I have two sisters who have both conceived sons (!) and now one has a daughter on the way (!). This new life in the family has helped us immensely.

God and karma have a way of working this out, of filling the void. In time, you'll meet a new "brother" (I might just be one of them)!

You have found what you are looking for. I am now an only child as well. I lost my brother, my only sibling and best friend to cirrhosis on 6/3/11. It has been horrific for all of us. I am so sorry that you are having to go through this pain. It is very difficult to say the least. My best advice is day by day. Read, pray, be with your support system and talk to your brother.
Lots of hugs!
Kelsey

I'm sorry for your loss. : ( There's nothing that can be said or done to make you feel better - you will likely never heal 100%. And you may never understand why this happened. But you must go on, and as time goes by, it'll get easier to deal. I know it's hard. My brother was killed at 23. I watched my parents fall apart. I had to take care of the funeral arrangements while trying to finish high school because my parents just couldn't handle it. I was completely numb for a while after that. I didn't cry or say much or feel much of anything for about 11 months. My dad took it especially hard. He was filled with strongest anger and grief there can be, and sadly, still is. Over 7 years later, we don't know who killed my brother, how, or why. He death was deemed "Inconclusive".

I don't know if christian or not, but I'm sure you've heard "their in a better place". I hated hearing that when my brother was killed. How can they say that?! That's the last thing I wanted to hear! I wanted him here with me! It wasn't until very recently(just weeks ago) that I thought to myself --- why do I want him to be here with me so bad??? To suffer on this Earth longer because I have to? Everyone goes through pain and suffering, and GOD decided to end his early - shouldn't I be happy for him instead of believing that he taken from me and gone too soon? I may not agree with when he died or the way he died, but where he is now, he's not hurting anymore. --- So I realized that I should not feel sorry for him. He's probably looking down feeling sorry for me, because my pain and suffering continues on while his has ended.

So, I know it's hard. And you have every right to feel robbed, feel anger, feel grief. But don't let it consume you and overwhelm to the point where you give up. You must go on

I'm not left as an only child. But my 19 yo sister died last November, due to a seizure in her sleep. I understand hownhard it is.when it first happens, once the initial shock wears off... if you need me I'm here :o)