Bereavement Support Group

((((Comforting hug))))) I am sorry for the loss of your husband. Anger is part of the grieving process and it will take some time for you to go through this journey. You will feel many emotions during this time. Allow yourself to feel them, for it's part of our healing. I experienced the same when my mom passed 7 mos ago. We had hospice at home for 2 days, my brother and I went to get something to eat real quick and came back to the house.I was just getting ready to walk into the room and give her abother kiss, and she passed. I was so angry I was yelling and screaming at God..."You took my son, my father,my brother,grandparents, and now my MOM! I told God I wanted to kiss her one more time! I understand your feelings,am glad you've found this group. Please share and journal as you are able to, we will all help you through this unwelcome journey. Hugs.....Lori

yes i'm in a strange place with God right now.... one minute i am pleading with him to help me get through the day and grateful when i do....other times im angry that he took my mother away from me. she had been sick with a diabetes that wouldnt stabilize so she was very tired. But nothing prepared any of us for her sudden heart attack. i do struggle a lot now with my faith but the only thing that keeps me near to it right now is that she believed so strongly. and ive asked alot of the same questions. but i loved her so much and she was such a beautiful person that i cant believe that she went anywhere but heaven. im so sorry for your loss. know that you are not alone
-Tara

I am so sorry for the loss of your husband. Like Lori mentioned anger is a part of the process. I have been angry with God before and it isn't a good feeling...but sometimes understandable and an emotion I believe God can handle. My advice would just be to not let that emotion with Him remain too long. Although it is hard for the ones left behind to understand God's timing is perfect. My dad passed in January. Just 77 days after being diagnosed with Acute Myeloid Leukemia. I don't understand it and I have asked God why...but I try to remember God knows everything and I only know what I see. He knew what was best for my dad and I think for your husband too. Try to share your anger with God is a not so angry way, if possible and ask him to help you through the pain of the loss.

Also, some well meaning people may say in time you will get over this. There is NO getting over a loss! There is only learning how to live a different life without that person. My heart goes out to you.

my name is vader.I am 64 years old.I am sorry for the loss of your dear husband.But Anger is natural and part of the general healing process and you will experience many emotions as of now.My boyfriend of 12 years commited suicde on May 22nd,2009.ANd for awhile I was angry and I realize now that Brad was in so much pain that I couldnt help him and I tried.Hes a peace now and for this I am glad.

I think being angry at God is normal. I for one, was doing bible study for about 8 months and we were getting involved in the church. Now I am so angry with God, I refuse to speak with him. I have hung the beautiful cross necklace I used to wear on the wall where the Big Guys picture was. It reminds me of who really took him from me. But don't worry God is strong enough to handle our anger and in time we will forgive him and ask for his forgiveness. I am not ready yet. I am also asking a lot of questions that I will never have the answer to. They say that our loved ones are beside us all of the time. I find this saying disturbing. I can only imagine how much it would hurt them watching us suffer the loss of them. We are simply human and we are doing our best to muddle through something we can't really understand. I have begged for a sign that my Big Guy is till out there somewhere and have yet to receive it. Sending a hug your way.

Oh yeah, I've been angry with God. I glare at God in the blackness, just hating him, and the only reaction I get back is one of blankness, no emotion, nothing whatsoever, just a presence that totally understands, and wants me to love it, so I eventually cave in, and I love it. Then the anger goes away, and I usually fall asleep, where it knows, in sleep, I will be one with it and it will rejuvinate me.

Hope this helps.

I am so sorry for your loss. I can understand how you would be angry at losing him. I can't tell you not to be angry at God, because you have the right to feel as you do, but consider this: God saw his suffering and pain, and decided to reward his strength by bringing him to Heaven to be an angel. That's how I choose to think about my Mom's death. She suffered from Diabetes, which lead to kidney failure & 3 years of dialysis. She wasn't able to drive herself anywhere for about 6 months before she passed, because she was on oxygen and her blood pressure kept dropping. God saw her pain, and rewarded her strength. Now she's with her brothers and parents in Heaven. Dad and I honor her courage and grace by carrying on. She'd want us to keep living. Am I angry that I can't see her and hug her anymore? Darn right I am. I was not ready for her to go. I wanted to keep my mom with me. But she was hurting, and was tired, and it was time. Now, she's free from pain. Please try to think of your husband as free from the pain. You don't have to stop being angry about losing him, because it sucks that he had to go so young, but he isn't hurting, and I'd bet he is with your grandmother and his parents now. Cry, listen to music, go to a gym and punch the heck out of a heavy bag. Whatever you need to do to get through it. In the meantime, if you need a shoulder or a hug, even if it is a cyber hug, please let me know. -Deb

I am sorry for your lose. I was very religious for many years for 5 years I did every Jewish Holiday, didn't eat pork, and prayed even before washing hands. When my Grandmother die 3 years ago I was upset to say the least and I figured I could be anger at God or maybe there is no god to be anger with. Maybe my life does not suck because of god maybe it's just chance 1 out of 100 people kind of a thing. My mother died this year and a lot of my friends felt weird about my not believing in god after, and I told them I just can't lie to myself anymore, life is not a fairy tale with happy endings were there is a higher being looking out for you.
Now if you are just anger and still believe that is fine I am not against people who believe in god, but you should be honest and true to yourself. Don't just be okay with god because people around you are. You have the right to feel hurt. If you still believe ask for a sign and maybe you'll get it. I know they say anger is a part of grieving, but you don't have to be anger with god, but unhappy he took something from you or really, let someone be taken from you.
I hope you happiness and understanding, I am sorry for your lose, and I hope you meet new people to help you with this time in your life.
- Laura

Thank you everyone. I knew I wasn't the only one out there with these feelings. I know Brian was tired and weak and needed to go to heaven but it just doesn't help how lost I feel without him, evenings are the worst. A pastor wanted to meet with him this week, a new pastor who I don't know well. I would not feel comfortable asking him all these questions. But the pastor that did Brian's service I would like to talk to sometime. Everyone says God has a plan. Ok What and why? Weren't we happy before the cancer took Brian? Just so many questions.

Poor sweetheart. Anger is part of the grieving process - we all learn that lesson and walk that path. Death is not a punishment, but a natural part of life - we all graduate from this life to continue learning more in the next. Your loved one is healed and whole and happy - your day will come to be reunited.

When a butterfly brushes my cheek
I know it is a kiss from you
When music plays in the distance
I hear your whisper too
I know you have forgiven me
For all I failed to do,
I know that you must miss me
As much as I miss you
Please wait for me, my call will come
And I will swiftly run –
To join you and to be with you
Oh yes, I too am coming home.