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Advice:
how to stop crying all the time
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my husband Bill died of colon cancer on Sept 12 and I miss him so much and I can't stop crying all the time.
Posted on 11/09/09, 05:13 am
17 Replies | Most Recent Add Your Advice
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Advice:
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Reply #1 - 11/09/09  10:09am
" You have experienced a great loss and 2 months is still not very long to expect you to stop grieving in your way. You will, as the days go by, have days where you cry less and then some days you get through without crying. We will never, ever be the same after our great losses, but as time progresses we are able to put one foot in front of the other a little easier each day.

I hope you begin to find peace with your loss. I hope you have family to help you get through and if you need to talk to your doctor about what she thinks.

Good luck to you. "
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Reply #2 - 11/10/09  12:34am
" Crying is very natural in the grief process. My Mom told me once that there wasn't a day that she did not think of her dad, and he had died 50 years ago. I looked at her and could not UNDERSTAND. Now, I do since my beloved Mom is gone. The sadness will ALWAYS BE THERE. Give yourself time to heal! (HUGS) Kristine "
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Reply #3 - 11/10/09  3:36pm
" It's ok to cry when you want to. Hugs "
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Reply #4 - 11/10/09  4:19pm
" Lost my son 6 months ago and I cry all the time too
((hugs)) "
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Reply #5 - 11/29/09  11:49pm
" Sorry for you loss of your husband I also lost my husband Oct 16th from cancer and I cry daily and can't picture my life without him. Everyone says it gets better I don't see how.
How are you doing now? I know it will not be good through the holidays.
Take care of yourself
Diane "
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Reply #6 - 11/30/09  12:23am
" My Mom died of colon cancer just over a year ago. I am so sorry about your dear husband. I recommend you look into grief counseling, either a group (check with hospices) or one-on-one, or both. As for the crying, do it. Just watch out for dehydration. Tears have a cleansing effect and they release endorphins. Cry, pound on a pillow, get it out. If you are crying at work and its causing problems, you can adapt. Think of him while you are at home and get the tears flowing. This is your way of dealing with the pain and you should not suppress it. This is part of the grief journey. All of us have walked or are walking that road. No two roads are exactly the same, but all of us can relate. The crying will diminish in time. But something else may take its place. Its a good idea to get some help from a group or counselor or both. Again I am so sorry about Bill. God bless. Scott "
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Reply #7 - 11/30/09  9:47pm
" Cry all you want honey-the loss is still so fresh-my brother has been gone since July-I cry several times a day-sometimes the grief sneaks up on me-it could be a thought, a feeling,a memory-whatever-it hurts- there is no grief time limit-everybody is different-do what you need to do to get through-I am here if you need a friend!!! hugs to you! "
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Reply #8 - 12/12/09  4:20am
" I know how it feels, your emotions flood with the thought of those you lostm I am not sur if it does get better but just know your not alone.. "
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Reply #9 - 12/13/09  12:44pm
" my name is vader and I lost my boyfriend Brad on 5/22/09.He committed suicide and my grief is new.I still cry every day and it is natural to do this.Dont believe any of this mumbo jumbo about being postive...How can I be positive? Brad left me almost penniless and i f I did not have a xmas part time job for 3 weeks..I would have been homeless with my cats and posesssions.In january I am going a group about survivors of suicide.Till this day I will never know and I dot know why he did it.Brad was very unhappy since the beginning of this year.And you cant be unhappy all of the time without any consquences.Brad could do a great deal of things.He did the housework and he cooked.He made me great breakfasts..but Brad was like a great deal of seattle men.Dear...the men in the Pacific Northwest are the best looking men in the world.However....this roughness has produced a macho mentality and they for some reason are shy and they do not talk about their problems.I learned from the ex workers that Brad had been depressed for a year.So why didnt these macho men take him to a hospital? If he was given emergency treatment here..he would have gotten medication and a doctor.Brads depressions were due to the fact that he didnt like to work and he would rather stay home and play games on the computer and call all of these gamers.He also made maps on his computer and he was interested in gaming.But Brad did not want to work hard and that means going to college and working part time for a degree in this.If he had done this...things would have been different.If goals are reasonable they can be reached.Brad never cried and he was just so full of depression and in the end...he took his life.So cry and talk.Go to grieft councelising and then you will experience peace and you will have days where you can get through without the tears..but in the mean time...take it from vader...let them flow.Thanks for listening...vader and the cats.kramer and little tooey..meow! "
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Reply #10 - 12/14/09  11:01am
" Your loss is still new, don't be hard on yourself for crying. You have probably been the strong one for some time as you helped your husband through his illness. My guess is the tears of loss you are feeling have been dormant since you were told of his illness. Cut yourself some slack. I asked my older sister when she knows the grief is getting better (we lost two sisters) She said "It's when she/he isn't the first thing you think of in the AM when you wake up and the last thing you think of when you go to sleep" My youngest sister has been gone since Oct. 2008 and I'm still not there. Love is difficult to say goodbye to. I wish I had a suggestion - prayer helps and so does going to my counsselor. My dogs are great at giving me a distraction. But you cry if you want - it is your right to express your feelings in a very natural way. "

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