What is Bereavement

Grief is a multi-faceted response to loss. Although conventionally focused on the emotional response to loss, it also has a physical, cognitive, behavioural, social and philosophic...

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Advice:
After the numbness is gone
Watch this 
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I had twin boys at 29 weeks on Sept 30 2008. On Jan 3 2009 the smaller of the two passed away due to multiple organ failure. During his funeral I was consoling others letting them know that things were going to be ok I really felt strong and I knew I could handle this. I had to, I had my other son to take care of. When the twin's first birthday came I shattered. My husband has begged me not to discuss the passing of our son because it has become extremely difficult to talk about and he's now at the stage of being able to accept. I'm assuming that I was completely numb and living in another world during my son's funeral because I'm ready to curl up in a ball. With the holidays coming and my other son old enough to somewhat understand the holidays I need to get it together.
Posted on 11/04/09, 04:11 pm
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Reply #1 - 11/04/09  8:24pm
" I am so sorry for your loss. I know the first of all the holidays are very hard. I know my kids need me to be strong for them now because they took care of me in the beginning. Let your husband know that you need him now, especially for you to be able to be there for him and your son during the Holidays. Take care, Big Hug, Sharon "
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Reply #2 - 11/05/09  9:42am
" Some people are not good at talking about the loss. I've lost my father and brother this year and it makes me feel better to bring up happy and fond memories of them. It makes me kind of happy/sad, but I like to bring them up because it's like they are still here with me. But when I do, others just kind of say something like, yes I remember that and then conversation drops. So I'm guessing it is too painful for them to hear even the happy/fond memories.

It's hard not to be able to feel like someone else understands, but believe me NicoleB930, we here at the Bereavement DS group to understand just what it is like.

I hope you get feeling better soon and are able to enjoy your holidays with your family. "
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Reply #3 - 11/06/09  8:21am
" You felt that child move with-in your body. The twin is a constant reminder and you grieve for him too. I believe that no one, even dad, understands the pain a mother feels when they lose their child, and you are not going to get over it. Just around it maybe one day.
God Bless You~ Julie "

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