What is Bereavement
Grief is a multi-faceted response to loss. Although conventionally focused on the emotional response to loss, it also has a physical, cognitive, behavioural, social and philosophic...
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dont know how to go on :(
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i dont know how to describe this my life is living hell right now. none of my friends care and when i need to talk they just say yeah... and go on with there problem. i have noone to talk to about grief and it really sucks. i feel like i am drowning. the depth of the water gets deeper and deeper. i try and forget about the fact that my grandad died cause that is the only way that i can go on. but when my grandma comes to visit it kills me. its feels like i lost my grandad and my grandma. before my grandad died, her husband of 60 years, she was a fun loving person. she would always find something to make me laugh and she would always be so happy, i dont know how she did this when her husband was dying. whenever i was sad she would comfort me, but now thats all gone. now that my grandad died she just is sad and depressed and cranky and negative. i dont want her to feel like i do with know one to talk to or understand i want her to be happy so i just listen to what she needs to get out and then try and fight back my tears. i cant cry in front of her. she wont cry in front of me. so i just cant. she hates it when i cry. i feel like everyone has there own problems to deal with and they don't need mine to deal with to so i do my best to cry alone. i feel like all my grandmas sadness is just adding on to mine and now i'm just stuck in this constant swirling tornado. i dont know how to function in school. i cnt focus at all. and i worry about failing out all day. i'm shaking all day at school and ive never had so much anxiety. its scary i have so many emotions swirling through my head and i dont know how to process them. this is going to be forever long im sorry but i need to get it out some how. i feel like the people on here are the only ones who care and that understand me. i just cant do this i'm just so lonely. i have friends at school but i'm shy and i cnt talk to anyone about this, not like they would care. Ive begged my mom to find me a grief group but we can't find anything. i have searched on google and it all just for a sibling, a parent, or a primary care giver. thats so annoying. people just think that when they lose a grandparent or a friend it doesnt hurt and we dont need help. i feel so isolated and i could go on and on but ill end this
Posted on 10/05/09, 08:10 pm |
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hi, I am sorry for your loss, you may want to talk to a consoler at your school. Also if you call the local chapter of Hospice, they help people through the death of a loved one and possibly could make some contacts for you. Also if nothing else pick the closest church or your church and find the minister or talk to someone in the parish office and see if they can direct you. Good luck and try to remember that our loved ones are happy where they are at and you are sad because you loved them so much, and not everyone gets to have that. Good luck and God bless. 
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Hi falcon93. I'm sorry for what you are having to go through and you are trying to be so strong for your grandma. I understand what it is like to feel like people just don't understand or when you feel like they don't care. I think that grief is inevitably something we all must go through, pretty much alone, but we are lucky when we get support from our families and friends. The unfortunate thing is our families and friends have their own problems, real life situations, and grief that they have to deal with in their own way, so it might seem like they are of no help to us. For this reason, I usally keep things bottled up inside.
I've found this web-site to be a great help to be able to read about other people, how they are doing things and to know that I am feeling just like so many other people out there. It also helps to offer advice that may help others out now and then. I hope you can find some answers here, or some ways to relieve your stress. Good luck to you.
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Hi I am sorry to hear about your loss. I agree, resources online usually focus on death of spouse, parent, or sibling, and it seems like people do not have much sympathy if we lose a friend or grandparent, like you said. They expect us to "get over it" faster. I had a hard time coping with losses as well as the pressure to move on, and lack of people to communicate with about the loss. It seemed like no one really understood me. I was sad after my grandpa died, and it is hard when you see your grandmother sad as well and worry about how she is coping. It is just as painful when we lose a grandparent or friend, and do grieve. I found bereavement group for adults, and it helped me feel less alone. maybe you can see if a local church offers a bereavement group? i found that having a counselor helps.
Take care of yourself.
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I'm also sorry to hear about your loss. If you can't find a group in your area, see what options are available at your school. On my campus, services at the counseling center are free to full-time students, maybe there is a similar program in your area. In addition to counseling, it may be beneficial to check out an anti-anxiety medication (or relaxation exercises, etc.) to help you get through the day-to-day stuff while you work through your grief. I hope this helped.
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