Bereavement Support Group

I have been thru that last year. It is the hardest thing you will have to do! Good luck to you!

I have but not long enough to get exhausted. Are you doing this alone? Is she on hospice care? If not, you should look into it. They can make her more comfortable in her final months. My prayers are with you. Scott.

After my mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer I started talking to her about respite care. She didn't like the idea at first, she has allways done everything herself. I explained to her that it would put everyone at ease if there was sombody that could be there if something happened. Also they would have to listen to her. That she did like. She did accept the respite care workers in her home and it worked out great. They helped her with showers if she wanted one. They did dishes, laundry, and anything else she wanted done. Most of the time they just listened to any concerns that anybody had. Sometimes my mom's love companion would take the time the worker was there to run errands. He was very pleased with what they had done. The team was great and made sure that everyone was one the same page. That included my mom, her companion, all of her kids, and the doctors. They were very helpful when it came to start making decisions about end stage care. They made everyone feel better about my mom's choice to have a DNR order. Maybe you should check into this. Hope this helps.

In 1985 I took care of my mom, who was dying of lung cancer. I had the night shift because I was divorced. My other sisters would each take part of the day. I had five kids and a job at the time and it was really hard. She would have hallucinations that people were coming through the wall and would make me stand at her bedside and talk to her. I nearly got fired. As a matter of fact, the day she died I had been called in and written up for being late.

It is exhausting, but in the long run you will know that you did everything for her in her final hours and that will give you solace. My prayers are with you. jeanie

Also, just remember, you CANNOT keep her from dying. Nothing you do will influence when she takes her last breath. That is between her and her God. Remember always, you could not prevent it. hugs jeanie

Yep we did, for my father in law. It was one of the hardest times of our lives.
I just had our 4th baby, one month later the step mom died, then hubbys dad didnt want to live w/o her, so he pretty much willed himself to death.
We took care of him for about 3 months, and it nearly cost our marriage. The stress was aweful! We had 4 kids to raise, and when hubby was at work, I had 4 kids and a dying father in law.
Is anyone helping you? If not I would make sure someone can come in a few hours a day or whatever works for you.
We didnt get enough of that ourselves and there is a bit of resentment on the whole situation.(almost 12 years later)
Wish you the best.

I am sorry for what you are going through! My dad was in the hosptial the last few weeks before he died. Between my mother and I we took turns staying with him as did my siblings in the few days they were here so he was never alone. Although I was not the main caregiver, it was one of the hardest things I ever had to go through. Hoping you find peace.

My Dad's been diagnosed with Parkinson's and was a meth user for 20 years. I'm so afraid he's gonna die soon. He doesn't want to eat or do anything but sleep. He's sick all the time and hasn't taken care of any of his finances since 2001 and I'm scared. I'm all he has so I have no help. My brother lives back east....it's just him and I but I'm in the same state as my Dad so everything falls on my shoulders. I've been on disability since April when my cousin died of an overdose. She was more to me than anyone else in my family I think. Now I need to get a job and it's just scarey to even think of. My Dad's been so used. He's just such a giver and now that he's sick, where are his friends? I'm sorry to go on about me but I feel your pain. When my Dad doesn't answer his phone (I check on him once a day now), crazy thoughts go through my head. Like did he die in his sleep, did he get so sick of the pain he killed himself. I'm just so scared. I see a therapist. That may help. Take good care. Hang in there and God Bless You!

I am so sorry that you are going through this. My Mother had lung cancer and I was there every day for many hours taking care of her. It is exhausting and I was doing the same thing that you are doing, constantly checking on her. Sadly, she passed away on September 9, 2007. I am honored that I was able to help her in any way that I could as she was always there for me. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Trisha

I am so sorry for what you are going thru. I took care of my mom for 2 years with alzeimers but I would do it again in a New York second. It is hard and exhausting I know but just know that you are helping her. Enjoy your time with her......tell her everything you want her to know NOW!!! My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family

Blessings,
Donna