Bedwetting Support Group

I feel for you and your boyfriend, as I am an adult with essentially the same problem. I am otherwise very healthy but have a small capacity bladder which causes me problems at night if I don't wake up in time to make it to the bathroom. I usually manage just by washing the sheets in the morning (there's a plastic cover on the mattress to protect it), but if you won't have a washing machine readily available, as you say, that may not be as much of a viable option.

A couple of things to consider -- how often does he wet the bed? If it's only once in awhile, then as long as you have additional sets of sheets available, he could take the wet sheets to the laundromat (or wherever you do laundry) when it happens, and throw some other clothes in with them to save on the laundry costs. If it's every night or close to it, and you don't have a washer available, then you really don't have any other practical option available -- the cost of going to a laundromat that often would be astronomical.

If you do decide (together) that he needs to wear something to help protect the bed at night, you do have options as to what kind of protection for him to use. Part of his resistance might stem simply from using the word "diaper" -- that's a loaded word -- consider "protective underwear" or something like that instead. There are several designs of protective night wear on the market, some of which pull on and off like underwear, so he wouldn't have to use a full blown "diaper" with tapes or pins or anything like that. The sheer number of such products on the market is enough to show that a LOT of adults have this problem -- and it happens to all ages, not just to "older people" as the popular myth has it.

As far as talking to him about it, in addition to staying away from the word "diaper", maybe you could offer to go to the store with him and look at some of the different products that are available -- or maybe even buy a couple packages of different things and bring them home for him to try on. Maybe go to a town a few miles away from where you live (to reduce the chances of running into anyone he knows -- as it will be really embarrassing for him) and make a "date" of it. He should realize that the financial cost of doing that much laundry will not be reasonable to handle in your present living situation -- his shyness and embarrassment are just keeping him too afraid to do anything about it. Be gentle with him but insist on the need to do something differently, and offer to help him as much as you can, and hopefully he will be responsive.

Lastly, you could show him this site or other sites like this online to help him realize that he's not alone in having this problem. There are lots of people here and in other places who would be more than willing to talk with him and let him know he's not alone -- and give him advice on how he (and you can cope).

Good luck, I hope you are able to figure something out together!

Great advice Adam. If he's reluctant to the obvious solutions, you really need to have some sort of absorbant pad underneath his bottom. There are disposable pads, but if he wets sporadically, I'd suggest the reusable pads that you can find at CVS or the equivilant drug store. They're usally around $10, very soft and have a waterproof backing. If it's under the top sheet, he won't even know it's there and it sure beats changing all the bedding.

As your boyfriend i have also have had this problem for my whole life.If anybody talks to me about it i freak out.I dont think i would ever wear those things to bed.I would talk to him about it because then he will know you care even if it is scary for him but i would go with the plastic cover.

we do use a plastic cover but it goes under the sheets

The plastic cover under the sheets is necessary (to save the mattress) but it doesn't solve the problem of washing the sheets. You can't really have the plastic on top of the sheets because (besides being horribly uncomfortable to sleep on) the urine would just slide off the side of the plastic and get the bed wet anyway.

There are, however, disposable absorbent pads ("Chux" pads, or something similar) that could be placed on top of the sheets, and could be helpful as long as your boyfriend doesn't roll around too much when he sleeps. The pad absorbs the urine (as long as he's still on top of the pad when it happens!) and can just be thrown away afterwards, with no washing the sheets necessary. If he absolutely refuses to try the protective underwear, that could be another option you could try and see how it works. A medical supplier should have them if they're not available in a store near you.

mgmgmg,
I wear diapers 24/7 of necessity. I could not function in public without diapers, and wearing diapers to bed is simply being considerate of my wife. Sure, wearing diapers is embarrassing, but a wet bed is worse. Goodluck.