Autism is classified as a neurodevelopmental disorder which manifests itself in markedly abnormal social interaction, communication ability, patterns of interests, and patterns of ...
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I'm a Self-centered, HORRIIBLE, big sister :(
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Ok... so proceed with caution... I'm about to get real...............................................................................................
So I have a seven year old little sister who is on the autism spectrum. And she drives me through the ROOF at times... And considering the fact that I have many emotional disabilites of my own, it is at times VERY difficult to keep her issues in mind. Today was a FABULOUS example of me being a completely self absorbed person. I said SO many MEAN, HORRIBLE, things to her... things that i should go to Hell for.. I told the poor kid that i HATED her.. more than once. I threw one of those plastic bouncy balls at her (softly) because i knew that just the fact that i threw something at her would make her upset. I hate myself.. Why am i so horrible.. The sad thing is.. that at times.. i REALLY do hate her.. I don't know how to help myself deal better :( ... i HATE myself Posted on 11/07/09, 11:11 pm |
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Really, what you describe is pretty normal for sisters. I have 4... Perhaps you're feeling guilty because little sis is on the spectrum. You definitely know better.
Saying the meanest thing you can think of would be somethin best left behind in childhood, yet it is, unfortunately, not uncommon for a lot of adults to use this tactic. Don't beat yourself up too much. You recognize this is something you need to deal with, that's a good start. Now would be an excellent time to practice apologizing. The whole thing might serve to draw you and little sis closer together. You're going to be sisters all your life. You may as well learn to get along now. Examining your behavior is a sign of maturity. You're going to figure this out. 
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Do you feel like you hate her because she has autism, or because of how you interact as sisters (personalities)? This makes me think of when I was a 1:1 aid to a 5th grader. She was really smart but got more positive attention from her teacher. The other students despised her and would give her ugly looks. I think because although they couldn't understand autism they were very jealous. A child like that will suck away a lot of attention and maybe that's what you deal with. Emotions are honest, that's how you feel. You may not HATE her,you just hate how you feel dealing with her. Work on it but don't hate yourself you're human.
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Well.. Like.. I hate the fact that no matter what she does, even when she KNOWS she did something wrong, her behavior is pardoned... Its just not fair... She knows how to throw a tantrum and get WHAT EVER it is that she wants... She knows how to make me look like the bad person... she's just INCREDIBLY manipulative
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