Autism / Autism Spectrum Support Group

Genetic testing is usually done to find things you DON'T know about. You already know ASD runs in your family. Do you need a test to show you?

I have 9 brothers and sisters. We have one suspected ASD ancestor, three generations back. One of my brothers has a grandson on the spectrum - he's moderate. Out of over 30 great-grandkids, there's just the one with ASD though there might be a few hidden Aspies. You could play the odds, but it's still going to be a gamble.

There's always adoption. A beautiful bouncing baby to love and care for without the wear and tear on your body. No stretch marks!

No!!!!!!!!!! There are some known genetic causes for autism, and it is imperative for me (and you if you haven't done so!) to find out if we have those genetic disorders.

Also, I want my *own* biological children. No one my age is going to want to marry someone they can't have children with, and I do want my own children.

Have you at least tested for Fragile X?

And this didn't run in my family--no one else has autism.

If your brothers have ASD, it runs in your family.

As a woman, I'm a little offended that you would suggest that unless a woman can be a baby factory, she's not worthy of love. It's ok, you're young - but it might be something you want to consider.

If you feel so strongly about getting genetic testing, they you definitely should but you are obviously bound and determined to bear children regardless of the outcome.

I suppose if the children you bear aren't good enough, you can always adopt them out or place them in the foster care system. I couldn't.

Sweetie, I know you want to have kids, and I can understand what you are concerned about. I had genetic testing for both of my pregnacies, but the issue for me was age. Nothing about autism was suspected.
All I can say is that you should not have kids until you are ready to accept any child the way he/she will be regardless of the condition. I had amneio tests, but I wanted to know asap what to expect, not to delete the pregnancy. You never know what can happen to a baby, and that is part of what parenting is about. You need unconditional love and acceptance regardless, and unless you are ready to accept the full gamit of possibilities, you better not have a kid. Just work out the issues, find stability in your own life, then everything WILL be perfect for your family, the way it will be, regardless.

It wasn't until my boys were born that I learned that my 19yr old cousin was Autistic.

But here is something I'll share with you. My sister in law carries a gene that passes down colon cancer at young ages. She learned this after she discovered she had it when she was in her late teens/ early 20s. After several surgeries, removal of this and that....she decided that they were going to adopt. It was too risky to even think about the thought of passing on the gene.
She hit her 30s. The pressure to adopt was on her shoulders with great weight. So they sought out the process.
And then something clicked for them. They met with a genetic counselor and learned that with the other hereditary factors from my family....heart disease, diabetes, cancer...there was more risk / let alone guarantee that what ever children they may have will have even a higher risk than a 50%-50% chance.
Both my brother and his wife thought about this and let it sink in. A couple of years later they decided to try on their own for a child. They had the genetic testing for the colon cancer along with the standard amnio tests they run. The news came and there was no gene passed on. But this wouldn't have stopped their pregnancy.

There is something about motherhood that is a phenomenon in my opinion. And in my belief, God allows miscarriages because something drastically went wrong with pregnancies...so we as mothers don't have to choose. But as for me, when people would come up to me and rub my budda belly, they would say....in that auntie voice *well as long as the baby is healthy*....and I would reply back saying .....*as long as it's a baby that I can care for*.

I've been blessed with two incredible little boys with Autism. I would not trade these precious children if my life depended on it! I have an opportunity to be a special mommy. One, most mom's will never be able to share. Yes, to a degree there are days that are challenging. But the rewards are great and there are more than I can count in these past 4-1/2 yrs.

So you see honey....by saying that you are scared to have children with autism....there is so much more to learn about autism. And it may be that you won't learn it until you have them. I'm sure you've seen your fair share of it. But given the opportunity again, I would pick an Autistic child any day of the week and twice on Sunday to be my own.

I wish you the best of luck with your own journey here hun. And a little advice....I know more men than not who will love their children regardless of any abilities or disabilities that child may have.

I understand. I am just afraid no one would want me if they knew about my brothers. Also, I would not be willing to keep a baby that had this kind of illness--I am sorry, but I have lived through a living hell that almost ended my life b/c of my severely disabled brothers, so that just would not be an option.

I wish there was a way to check through amnio if the baby will have an intellectual disability so one could abort.

Unfortunately hun, there is no way to test for it as they do not know the cause of Autism. Maybe meeting with a genetic counselor will help you find your answers.

But speaking as a mom....You'll be amazed at how your perspective on things change once you become pregnant.
It takes an incredibly strong individual to make that choice. And if you think that living with your brothers was hard before....I've seen so many woman messed up over their decisions to abort. Those whom I've known can tell you how old that child would have been down to the day. Their lives have been ruined by their decisions. All of them I know never find happiness regardless how many children they have now.

But no one out there has control over if their child will have a disease or not. If they did, they'd be breeding out all diseased people if you think about it.

I can only imagine what your life was like. I wish you all the happiness you can find as an adult.

My husband was ADD and tourettes syndrom (mild) and they say you have a 90% chance if it is a boy that they will have some level or carry the gene and if it is a girl they have a 70% chance. I was very worried about having children and I told my husband maybe we should adopt. He wanted our own children or none at all. I finally decided we would take the risk, we now have a 27 month old son who is high functioning autistic. I love him so much I wouldn't trade him for the world. I do not regret him in anyway and would not do anything differently. Adoption doesn't mean that child will be health or guarantee not to be autistic in a couple years, maybe they can tell you if they are mentally retarded before you adopt but their are many other ailments out there they could still have. Good luck with your decision. Don't be so down on your self, my husband maybe on the spectrum/gene issues but I have heart disease in my family! Our kids could die of that before their time.