Autism / Autism Spectrum Support Group

first get a diagnosis,if it's anything they will tell you what to do next,i know what it'sike especially when a man has a son , his first thought are of all the things they can to together,even if it is autism you can still do things , don't give up on him these kids can learn and enjoy doing things with you, he is young ,now is the time to get him diagnosed and get any therapies that he might need, you would be surprised how far he can go,i'm not saying it's easy it is work but it can be done.

This feeling of hopelessness is a very wrong thing to feel. Do you expect that being Autistic means that your child will not live a full life? That is very wrong; you are very wrong. Maybe your baby only say’s “BaBa” because people around him kept using that word(baby talk)? Being Autistic does mean you will not life a full life it means your child will live a different life. Life may be hard but more well lived because it was hard.

Your post is very offensive to me (An Autistic person).

I suppose you are worried as there has been a sudden change in your son. Go for the evaluation. Also he is still only young and not all kids do talk at this age. It could just be a delay.I know when my son was diagnosed and he was older ( years of age) it took almost 18 months to accept his diagnosis. But now despite the fact that he has a disability and yes it is a disability despite what some will not accept or they find the word offensive,my husband and I just try to take each day as it comes and deal with the challenges that each day brings. We don't get any support so we are alone.

Also nicknu, it is not wrong of you to feel hoplessness. Please do not let others make you feel guilty for feeling this way. If your son does end up having ASD he can start on an early intervention program which unfortunately my son didn't get the chance to do as he was 9 when diagnosed. Please don't let others make you feel guilty for feeling the way you do and it is not wrong for you fo feel this way. Also there is nothing offensive about your post.

well nicknu, let me say this. you are not wrong in your feelings. it is completely normal to feel these things in the beginning. All parents go thru this. it is completely normal.

so now you get the diagnosis and you look into early intervention. you will receive a lot of support here even those there are those who are not presenting that.

and as far as you adler, as much as you come on here and expect people to understand you and what you go thru as a person with autism, i expect you to attempt to understand what the parents here go thru as well. passing judgement on a brand new member when you don't know her or her situation is not cool.

Thank you sambod. I totally agree with what you have said as I said similar in my reply. I also agree with what you said to Adler. He needs to stop making people feel like they are being offensive when they use such as disability as he did with me on a number of occasions and also the way others feel.

you are having very normal feelings i felt the same way you will be ok and you will get stronger i think autism has made us all very strong and nobody can tell you how to feel good luck to you and you have come to the right place

OK, this is mostly for Nicknu, but for everyone else too. I know you are worried about what your son's life will be like, this is very normal for parents. Getting an evaluation before you worry too much is important. An evaluation should not just assess the situation - whether he has autism or something else or nothing at all - but should provide recommendations as to how to proceed - speech therapy, early intervention, a hearing aid, whatever. The report from the evaluation should be able to help you determine the best services for him.

Sometimes when I consider the slowness of my son's current progress I feel that he might not encounter all the opportunities in life that I might have wished for him to have. I think it helps to keep a couple of things in mind though. Firstly, each person is a little different in what he or she needs to feel fulfilled. The opportunities that I would wish for him to have (since he's my son those are really every possible good experience in the world) may not all be necessary in order for him to feel fulfilled. I can still fight for him to get the opportunities that he indicates he wants as he indicates interest.

Secondly, (and I admit this is a very broad generalization, but) people do not all develop at the same rate, in fact based on my experience the same person does not develop at a constant rate over his or her life or even sometimes over the course of a year. So, even if your son does not meet the expectations of a bunch of (very well meaning I'm sure) doctors now, that does not mean that he will not be considered right on track next year or at some other time.

And lastly, even if he is never considered on track, refer back to my first point. He may be a perfectly healthy, happy person.

Even though there are no guarantees, I think there is still plenty of room for hope. No matter what any doctor, educator, or report says, we can never know the future until it happens (Hence the hope).

Good luck with the evaluation and try not to worry too much.

Hi there nicknu,
The way you are feeling is very very normal for parents of children who are showing symptoms of autism, and I am so sorry you are going through this pain and worry. I remember feeling exactly the same way as you do, and our son was diagnosed over five years ago.
Of course there is a chance he may just be a little delayed, and if that is the case you will have reason to celebrate, he will catch up in his own time. If he is ultimately diagnosed with autism you will need alot of support to come to terms with what that means for you and your family. Look for a local support group (they are listed in the telephone book) or phone your National Autistic association. There is alot of help out there to help you deal with what is a big issue. None of us can do it on our own.
What I mostly wanted to tell you is that our autistic son is now nine years old and he is the light of our lives. He has made slow progress over the years, and he now talks so much that it's hard to keep him quiet! Those early years are the hardest, there is no doubt, but your love for him will see you through all of those tomorrows, whatever they may bring.
Sending you hugs from New Zealand, Sharon

It's hard to accept when things don't go the way we planned. Autism is a huge shift from what you originally expected. You're going to have to learn a lot of things you never thought you needed to know.

You'll be fine. You'll make the adjustments and learn to cope with the lifestyle changes ahead.

You'll save yourself a lot of grief if you gratefully accept this beautiful gift you've received and begin your parental journey anticipating a marvelous adventure.

But get the diagnosis before you start making major plans.