Autism is classified as a neurodevelopmental disorder which manifests itself in markedly abnormal social interaction, communication ability, patterns of interests, and patterns of ...
|
New here need help
|
Watch this |
| View More Posts Ignore |
Hiya my son is 12 years old and was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 6 but since then it has been murder, we have been backwards and forwards from the doctors because of his behaviour, they have look at ODD but they have just dignosed him with having autism. I am after some advice because things at home are getting really bad.
My main problem at home is that he flys off the handle at the slightest thing, if you tell he cant do something or if you tell him to wait to do things ie. play his computer or have something to eat. He seems to decide that that is what he is going to do and flips if he cant do it straight away. When he does flip he punches and kicks walls and doors, slams doors, he has even put his hand through 2 windows in temper. He also refuses to do anything for himself at home whether its make himself a drink or do his own shoelaces. He will not bring home any homework back from school and if you ask him about it he flips and screws up his work and rips it up, it sounds like world war 3 in our house all the while. He goes to a mainstream secondary school and he is really clever, he got top marks in his SATS when he left junior school but is really messing about in lesson, fidgetting, kicking chairs, rocking on the chairs etc. His school books are a mess, he writes in different colour pens, scribbles all over his books and basically refuses to do the work. If he decided he doesnt want to be in the class he will do everything to be removed but then when he is he will refuse to leave the room and physically argue with the teachers. I dont feel comfortable going to visit people as I am always waiting for him to kick off (I cant even visit family members). He hasnt really got any friends and will not go out of his way to make friends. Richard collects lots of rubbish from sticks to paper and bits of metal. Richard also likes to play silly games with sticks and pretend weapons, he swings his arms around and trows his arms around without a care, but refuses to do it upstairs or outside he has to be the centre of attention. (i think he wont play these games outside because he knows they are very imature and he doesnt want others to see him). I just wondered if these were general signs of autism or just him really playing up. I am at the end of my tether and sick of all the argueing and voilent mood swings. Sorry that it is so long I just wanted to explain what he was like. Thank You Posted on 06/23/09, 03:06 am |
| 8 Replies | Add Your Reply |
| View More Posts Ignore |
Hi and welcome. I think that sounds like he needs help no matter what they diagnosis. He may well be on the spectrum, an he is obviously high functioning, but the pressure of mainstream is giving him behavior issues, that are "very common". He needs serious behavior intervention, and the school needs to help him learn in the way that best suits his needs.
My kids are 5 and 10, my youngest being on the spectrum. He has learned to wait and understand that 'flipping out" will not get him what he wants. In regards to the imagination games, the kids are all unique and often times they are off in their own world. The issue is if the relationship with the reality is distorted, then there are times that those fantasies could play out in reality, and lead to violent behavior. My 5 year old is very much oppositional, and I have to use reverse psychology. That is what behavior analysis helps with. You need to change how you react and teach him he can get his way by behaving properly. Many times that is a big issue with ASD folks. They need to learn how to behave. I can omly imagine how the puberty adds to the problems. Good Luck. 
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
I believe you son is very sensitive to his surroundings and is most likely suffering from sensory overload. His mind and thoughts are probably going very fast and he is having difficulty concentrating, so cannot understand when things do not go the way he has planned and pictured in his head. Those on the Autism Spectrum have a hard time dealing with change, and when he has a scenario pictured a certain way and then that way does not happen then it is a change he cannot accept and then loses it (flips out as you state).
Have the doctor's considered medication to allow him to calm down? This would allow him to concentrate and begin to understand that somethings will be different than he imagines them to be. My 14 yo granddaughter that has a dx of Asperger's is on Trileptal for mood stabilization. she has severe sensory dysfunction in all areas. Prior to the Trileptal she would have frequent meltdowns at school due to the constant change of events and the chaotic environment there. She has been on the Trileptal for over three (3) years now and is doing beautifully on it. Your son also needs a place he can calm himself; sometimes weighted blankets can help to calm. My granddaughter also had a difficult time organizing her school work and multi-tasking (which is very common in the school environment). When she got help from the teachers and myself with the organizing, she was able to do a better job in keeping her lessons on track, etc. Is your son getting enough sleep? Sometimes the lack of sleep will keep them hyper and less likely to concentrate. If he has difficulty sleeping, try melatonin which is a natural body hormone and can be purchased over the counter in the USA (I don't know about in GBR). I wish you luck. Please let us know how things go. Gram...
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
Hi and welcome.
I wish I could offer you some more help here hun, but my boys are 4 & 2 and I'm learning from all of the more "experienced" moms of older kids on the spectrum. But I do want to share is that saying the word "No" to someone on the spectrum is like waving a red flag in front of a bull (that's how our doctor put it). And learning to say what they can do helps. If you haven't tried this yet, I'd suggest it. We have started with the "well, we need to do this first, then puter" and it's been helping. LOL, and for ONCE in my life my MOM WAS wrong! (LOL, she kept telling me that I HAD to say NO to our boys, or how else were they going to learn). But I just don't have the heart to say this face to face with her! Because you know....MOM's always know what's best. Hang in there hun. Welcome hugs!
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
I would just like to say thanks for your replies I am really grateful for all advice and help at the mo.
I have always done it so that my son never gets anything if he is playing up he has to behave first, but he doesnt seem to take any notice. I have asked him to do things first before he plays his computer ie. change his uniform and put his shoes in the hallway etc but he just flips and demands that hes not getting changed and will turn it on anyway. When I turn it off and explain that I have asked him to get changed first he flips his lid and we have world war 3 again so I just cant win. Also if I ask him to do something he rekons im always moaning at him. Richard has been on Ritalin and then the doctors tried medikinet but he physically refused to take them, even if i put them in his breakfast without him knowing he would pick at it until he found it. He has just started on Aripiprazole to try and calm him down a bit but im a little wary of this as its usually diagnosed to people with schizophrenia, hes on his 4th day so we will see what happens he is already arguing about taking it. As for sleep he seems to sleep quite well he goes to bed at 9:00 on weekdays and 10:00 on a weekend and if left to get up on his own usually gets up about 7:00ish. Our main problem is getting him and ready for school he HATES it. We have given him time limits on when to get up by, we have set alarms and hes gone round changing the time on the clocks, we have tried a wet flannel and we have tried picking him up out of bed but he just explodes with everything then he argues over his breakfast (and yes you have guessed it world war 3 again lol). I am really stuck I feel like ive tried everything.
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
Sweetie,
This is what I saw reading your last post. Richard is refusing to take the meds.....try to find out why? Do they make him sick? Does he not like the "feeling"/ side effects of it. Also the whole going to school issue. He "hates" it as you put it...why? Kids either love it or hate it. Does he hate it because of the kids at school? possibly teasing him? Does he hate it because the work is too hard? All of these things are fixable. WWIII should not be an everyday occurrence. And I know that's hard to remember when you are living through it all. Trust me, I've been there. But I was advised once by a doctor. Meltdowns are a form of communication. It's a primal instinct (we even share it with monkeys). There is a good book out there "Freedom from Meltdowns" by Dr Travis Thompson. I'd suggest to get it. As for now, when he melts, he knows he has the power. He knows that if he melts hard enough, you will give in and either do things for him or he will eventually get his way. We've been changing how we treat our meltdowns here. I walk away from them. Or if out in public, I keep him safe for one thing, or we remove him from the scene. But I've also learned that it's too much sometimes for our Andypants. So, we've been changing our outings and things have been so much better. We're living proof that we can change this behavior.
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
Hi, you son's outbursts seem to be rather frequent from what you've told us, but i think they can be minimized. The first thing you need to do is try to find a pattern to it, take note of what happens just before his outbursts, you can also sense it coming by studying him to note the changes in his behavior, by this i mean does he sweat, fidget, swear, rock himself, tap a foot, is there a change in his voice level before he finally lets loose? These signs can let you know in advance at he is building up and you can take evasive actions to avoid his out burst.
I suspect that he needs to be better organized to avoid him throwing fits. Let him know his schedule for the day and what is expected of him both at home and at school. You said he hates school, you will need to check his school to find out if he is being bullied or made fun of in class, this might be a probable cause for his hating school. school activities might also be a bit too much for him to handle, do try and investigate his school activities, I'm almost very certain something is making him uncomfortable at school.
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
In my opinion, your son really needs some heavy psychological evaluation. Consider therapy/counseling. The environment of a school could be causing him to flip out as well. For my Asperger's, i was put in SE classes for many years, and often times just the surroundings would perturb my ability to learn. To this day, too many people talking at once can drive me insane...and it was much worse then when I was younger. Consider also home schooling by a teacher who specializes in teaching autistic children. The secondary schools, let alone public schools that provide SE classes provide teachers with less-then-adequate skills and can, for lack of better words screw you and your child over in more ways than one.
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
I would just like to say thanks for all the replys, i havent really had the chance to get on for a bit. Richard seems to be doing ok on his new medication at the mo (Touch wood), He seems to be getting up on his own without an argument and seems to be getting himself ready for school. He is taking his new medication aswell which im happy about, I think this is because the older ones were in tablet form and this is in a liquid form hes even allowing me to up the dosage when like prescribed.
Richard tells me he doesnt like school because he gets bored easily and he is being called names but the school is helping me out with that but its not too bad at the mo either. As for Richard loosing it it can be over the slightest little thing and he just goes he doesnt show any signs, and some days somethings may bother him and others it wont you jusy have to see what day we get. We have just had an official diagnosis he has been diagnosed with ADHD and Aspergers syndrome. Thanks again all.
|
|
|
|
||
| Add Your Reply |
I went to an autism rally at the statehouse in Columbus today. There were a couple of hundred people there, including a …
If you have already done this, thanks so much! I am going to send it a few more times because I hope new people will …
Thank you for your help to save Lake Michigan from British Petroleum's plan to massively increase pollution in the …
