Autism / Autism Spectrum Support Group

well i think part of the reason is that they are in a routine at school. does your child have a picture schedule at school? I have to keep mine on one at home. Now granted, when he first comes home for the first hour or until dinner, it's his free time. he usually watches disney and unwind. after dinner, we have a schedule and he knows what it is. homework, bath, watch a little tv and bed.

the other thing i do is set goals. we set a certain goal. for my son it is that he has to do work at school and work hard and do homework well with me, good behavior and at the end of the week, if he does well, he gets a reward. and it's important to let them choose. he usually chooses something fun to do,,,, bowling, roller skating. occasionally, not often, if he is really wanting a new game for his gameboy, then we get that but not often cause i don't want him to associate that with good behavior every week. the buying of something is usually reserved for once- twice a month.

It is nothing to do with you, from what i have read and been told by all the specialists that work with Eddie and also nephews of mine. Must of the time is they are in full routine at shcool and they like that countinues routine and structure witch is almost imposible to do at home after all we do have to cook dinners, do laundry make shore they are happy and if posible have five minutes to aour selfs. When that countinues routine is broken they finaly can be them selfs and that is when the behaviors come out. They also show all there agresion and stress more with the people they are must comfurtable with. Eddie is only 3 and 5 mounths but he already shows all the behavior problems that most autistic children show. When he is stressed he will bang his head mostly on my hips and also he has bitten him self in the past also he bites and scratches his 6 year old brother. It is hard to stop there behaviors but what i have learned is when you see the behavior escalating try to feguer out what is bothering them right away. With Eddie it is usualy sensory related. He does have full speech but when in public alot of times he does not speak to me or anyone else. I hope some of what i wrote will help you.

I have been told it is an issue of him thinking the school will not let him be that way, and Mom is his testing ground. Darting away is a way to explore the world. In school nobody is allowed to do that. At home he tests you and you need to train him to work differently. I wish I had a better way to put it. He wants to take off the uniform at school, but knows he cannot. At home he is fed up after the day, and he is letting off steam by his behavior.
Oliver has days. Yesterday his brother's new friend was over playing computer games, and Oliver was acting like a typical younger brother, and they were reacting to his pestyness, by locking him out. That triggered a meltdown, which included headbanging. In the end we all learned to let Oliver has his moment too, then the big kids will be able to play when Oliver is interested elsewhere, by his own choice.
I had a teacher tell me Oli was never a problem at school, and then he was just like you said when he got home. He eventually refused to attend that school. I soon discovered the teacher was not truthful, and in fact I witnessed things they denied, and they considered hiding under the table in school, cowelling, was acceptable and not an issue. If I were to do it again, I would request the school allow you to observe without your kid seeing you, under the pretense that you want to know how the teacher does it, and you can learn. You may find out he act like that there too, or learn how she is responding, that regains authority, and nips the problem before it escalates.

Maybe your boy is bi-polar? Or maybe your home is not structured enough for an Autistic child. Schools can be very structured. It is also possible that your son after a hard day at school (school can be much harder for an Autistic child.) is ready for a meltdown. That was normal for me.

School isn't home. Home is where you can let your hair down and air your grievances. School can be like a straight jacket when compared.

I hope you and your son can work it out so you don't have to be miserable about it.

I experience the exact same thing with my daughter. The school says they do not even belief she is autistic because her behavior is so good at school. How do you have a schedule at home? what do you mean by a picture schedule? I am new at this.
Kim

Thank you all for your comments its made me realise that it seems to be the normal reaction for autistic children, in one sense i a glad he has his melt downs at home and not in school but was beginning to wonder if it was something i am doing wrong. I amtrying top make things more structured at home and we have an activity set up for when he comes in which he seems to enjoy and looks forward to doing as so far it kind of takes the edge off having the melt down as soon as he comes in, i have also just invested in a trampoline as i have heard they are good for autistic children to let off stream whilst having fun so hopefully this will help to as he does love bouncing on furniture etc Thanks again for your advice :) x

message for copingodat:-

Hi Kim i have more or less had the school saying to me that they cant believe he's autistic as he is well behaved in school, not sure if this is the right thing but i believe picture schedule are like a timetable for them to follow, i use one with my son to help with routines such as mornings getting ready for school and bedtime routines which do help with these and he has one that he follows in school to know what is going to happen next. I am also in the process of using pec cards to help him understand wots happening now then later as he has no concept of time so am hoping this may help him??

I have heard this more than once about my son when he was at school. It is quite normal for them to be fine in one place such as school and not at home,or vice versa. My son has been home educated for over 6 years now and things are a lot different. His worse problem is his inability to concentrate and lack of focus. His anxiety does play a part at times and that is when the OCD gets worse. But generally he has been much happier at home. I was told recently by my son's specialist that is also normal for kids with ASD to be able to concentrate for hours on the computer or playstation but not on books.