Asperger Syndrome Support Group

Sad to say, I think the best you can do is warn him, which you have seem to have done, and let it play out. Or you hope for a tornado, mudslide, wildfire, whatever the imminent danger is in his area to take care of it for him :) Which is usually what I do before I have to move. It's so much easier starting over than taking care of what it is that I have.

Well this is a long shot... but what if you suggested cleaning the apartment with him over the weekend??? Since he doesn't like stangers in his house and all.... you have already seen the mess so maybe he will go along with it. Good luck..Denise

Unfortunately, as I mentioned before, my fionce` and I live about four hours away from each other. I intend to go down in November, but by then the inspection will have already past. In fact, it was today.

Also, as a totally blind person, I would not even know where to begin with that mess. When I'm there, he has to lead me about so that I don't trip and break my neck on all of the junk on the floor.

If you're blind and he doesn't care enough to clean his apartment so you don't have to be led around, why do you want to marry him? That doesn't make sense. I know how strong emotional feelings are, but come on, when you guys get married and move in together, you're not going to be able to navigate your own home.

Firstly, I want to answer the question of why i want to marry my fionce even though he has trouble cleaning his apartment. Well, we have already discussed this, and he realizes that he can't make a giant mess on the floor once we're married. As for now, you have to understand that this mess was a couple of years in the making. Even if he wanted to he couldn't clean it in time for my visits. A major move will sort it out, but as of right now, I've seen better looking construction sites.

By the way, I wish I could tell you how it went, but I can't as he hasn't gotten back to me yet which is driving me crazy. When he doesn't return emails or calls, I know something bad has happened.

Oh, and also, I want to marry him because I believe these issues can be worked on. I love him very much, and I'm not going to leave him because he's messy. He has shown great progress in working on the other issues that he has, but all things take time. Also, when I stayed with him for two months, he did his best to keep things clean, and if they weren't great, they were at least navigable. The problem is that he doesn't do that when he's on his own. Also, he has loads of stuff in a studeo apartment, and when we marry, we won't be lieving in a studeo apartment. I guess in short what i'm trying to say is that my commitment is strong enough to go through these problems with him, and unfortunately through personal experience, I know what it feels like to be in a relationship with someone who really doesn't care. I have permanant physical damage from that one. I guess I can summarize it with a little saying that my grandmother taught me when I was a little girl. "It's a long way back to eden, Honey, so don't sweat the small stuff."

How did your fiance's inspection go? hugggggsss. Dawn

Well, they said he could have done better, and there will be a follow up inspection on the third, and a bug sparaying on the fifth. I found this out yesterday, and oh, we're spending Christmas together. Yay!!! Got to run get ready for mass now. Sorry about this hurried response.