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Just looking to make life easier for my son
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Hi, my son, currantly 13 just recieved his educational aspergers diagnoses and will finally be recieving services at school this year, I'm hoping this will help the social issues. I didn't find medications very helpful to him, he would be very agitated on them, and several therapists didn't think it was their area of expertise, so I am currantly just going with the schools iep for now. My currant issue is his interests, and the things he says when hes very angry or feels threatened. I should say first of all, I love him the way he is, and am very proud of who is, I never have to worry about forgetting where I parked with him around, "his visual memory" as he calls it always keeps us on track and way ahead of schedule:) I notice animals seem to really like him to, and hes compassionate with them, especially reptiles which I have had to learn to accept. His other interest is the one that concerns, he loves to talk about knives, guns, military,hunting and anything involving that. He thinks he should take a pocket knife everywhere he goes,I usually have to shake him down, he and likes to wear camo, I try to keep it to a minium because I'm honestly tired of people taking him the wrong way, teasing him, or feigning concern that he might be "dangerous" someday, he says he knows he is not a threatening person, he just has his interests. the other concern would hopefully never coincide, but he has a lot of trouble relating to otehr kids, hes never kept friends very long, he offends others easily with his bluntness, and becomes very angry and lashes out verbally at others too. I'm curious to hear any ideas from others about the interests, how they can be healthily manintained, and whether its really possible that he means any of the threatening things he has said when he was angry at other kids? he has made threats before, but never did any of it, the most interesting thing is he mostly always gets into arguments with another auspie his age close by, I would love to be able to help him to resolve some of these issues and have less worry myself about any validity to some of the things he has said out fo anger. Thanks!
Posted on 07/22/12, 02:29 am |
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He sounds like my JJ. Too bad they can't get together. I am struggleing with how to handle things with him. I love him dearly and wouldn't change him either. At his last eval the psychiatrist told me that his talking about things above his age level is inappropriate. It is inappropriate to be interested in foreign languages and the universe at seven and hate batman and super heros! sigh...Is it him and your son that are different or us? 
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I love how you mention a few times that you love your son just the way that he is. Parents often forget to say that. I am so frustrated lately with my son. He has been diagnosed as ODD, but I disagree wholeheartedly with that and am fighting to find someone familiar with Aspergers around here. The more I read about it, the more I talk to people with affected children, the more and more I see my son.
Just the other day, my son was angry because someone said to him that he needed to "try and be more normal, like the other kids". He looked at me and then got very, very angry. He screamed, as loud as he could, while hitting himself in the head, "If I were meant to be normal, I would have been born that way!" That incident made me take a GIGANTIC step back and take a hard look at the people around my son. I love my son, love him with every fiber of my being...and I struggle with him every day to help him fit in, to navigate life. BUT, I need to be more vigilant about paying attention to what his teachers, daycare providers, siblings, grandparents, friends, counselors, etc are saying to him. My son is a wonderful child, with difficulties that we're working on. But, he's a good boy and he doesn't need to think any differently. Just sitting here thinking about how my son must feel to scream that makes me cry. I think it's wonderful that you love your son just the way that he is. Like I said, I think a lot of us parents of special kids need the occasional reality check and need to be reminded of how incredibly special our children really are!
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