Asperger Syndrome Support Group

under technicality here , aspbergers isnt a disease , its a physical differance in how the brain works . tho for the relationships I can tell you thats tough if not with the right person , to the responce to that tho since I havent dated in like 5+ years its both the partner (witch it doesnt sound like is happening ) friends and or family . finding multipal outlets for it is a good thing

I'm sorry for the mistyping, and thnx for clearing it up.

I care for him, a lot. Probably more than I should. But we ended things not so long ago. I'm just wondering if that was the wrong thing to do.. I shouldn't let it define him, but of course it affects the way he is, and it affects me. So, yeah, I'm quite confused.. But anyway, thnx for sharing your experience!! Really appreciate it!

Any relationship with an Aspie will take lots of patience & understanding; men are generally not the best communicators, especially of their emotions - it is even more compounded when one has aspergers; emotions are much more abstract, it's not tangible like objects & things are; Aspies generally lack empathy & it's hard to connect (especially intimately) with others..it doesn't mean that he doesn't have emotions or doesn't care about yours - far from it!
you will need to be blatantly honest, direct, and candid in communicating with him..good luck!

Thnx for your reply! Really helpful to read this, and I know I must be more patient. I can maybe be a bit better at the part of me being honest and direct to him. Again, thnx for taking time to create a response! :)

I recommend beginning with open, non-judgmental acknowledgement of Aspergers and the impact it has on your relationship and on both of you as individuals.

It's easy for either person in a relationship to get accusatory or to feel hurt, and these things will happen, but they don't have to be the dominant theme. Instead, you can learn to discuss the issues without fear or blame.

Aspergers isn't anyone's fault, but we as human beings have a responsibility to understand others and to understand how our words and actions affect others. This is a challenge that everyone in life must rise to. Aspergers doesn't create this challenge, but it complicates it.

I have Aspergers and have learned to cope with it as part of my life's journey. I'm much happier today than I was even just a few years ago, and my interactions with others are much more meaningful and natural. And I'll emphasize that I have had to grow in lots of other ways apart from dealing with Aspergers. After all, Aspergers is part of who I am, but just a part.

Along this journey, what has been very helpful has been learning about Aspergers and about psychology in general, practicing socializing (such as by making an effort to be better at eye contact), and mindfulness and meditation. It has also been very helpful to be very open about my feelings, even when my instinct was to be introverted.