Asperger Syndrome Support Group

I really don't think that you can blame his AS for the need to drink - I think you probably already know the answer to this - his addiction to alcohol is driving his behaviour and like most addicts he will say anything to you in order to get his "fix".

To try to keep him happy by allowing him to drink, which then causes fights is not what your daughter needs from you and can only be detrimental to her..

Stay strong and try to speak to someone in your area who could help - most Alcoholics Anonymous groups have sessions for partners/children of drinkers.

I'm not trying to preach to you - I have a social drink myself, but it's not even on a weekly basis.

I have also been in the position where my partner (now ex) was a very nasty drunk - lovely when he was sober though. I ended up having to leave due to his violence when drinking.

Maybe your husband could see an counsellor. If he refuses to do that, you and your child are probably better off without him.

Thanks for the response.

I've been thinking about going to an Al-Anon meeting for a while now.

I guess I wasn just wondering if addiction if more of a challenge for someone with AS? How have others with AS overcome addiction? I've read that a lot with AS have limited repetitive interests - as in his case he spends the vast majority of his time coding and playing WoW (while he is unemployed and I am working from home). When I ask him to take care of our daugher he'll sit he in front of a TV instead of interact with her, but I have to work so we can pay off CC debts - his unemployment barely covers the bills. He thinks social science is crap and dismisses counseling won't help him. He thinks his perception of the world being a cold and lonely one is an accurate perception. I'm almost feeling he is a lost cause because I've tried so much to help him...

Glad to hear you left your ex. My husband never gets physically violent with me, but becomes the rudest most self-righteous belittling person in the world when he drinks!

Oops - noticed a few typos in that. Hope it still makes sense!

"I guess I wasn just wondering if addiction if more of a challenge for someone with AS?"

I think I know what you're getting at and I've noticed the same thing. It's what I call aspie-focus because an aspie will get absorbed some specific idea or thing. One aspie might find guns or computers to be what gets to him, another would see issues of justice as being the thing to focus on. It sounds like your husband is starting with one basic idea: I want/need to alter my mind. And that's a big handful because he won't see binge drinking or alcoholism as a negative side effect. But what he's asking to do is very self-destructive, not to mention destructive to you and the family as a whole.
I know from my own experience how hard it can be to disuade an aspie from something they've got a mind to do. But if you're lucky, you might be able to get him interest in a different "hobby" at some opportune point...kinda like distracting someone to get them to stop playing with the matches. Or you could go the other route and tell him you'll throw him a keg party if he'll agree to some form of counselling. You know him best... and good luck!