What is Anxiety
Anxiety refers to a complex combination of negative emotions that includes fear, apprehension and worry, and is often accompanied by physical sensations such as palpitations, nause...
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advice needed please
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so...about 3 months ago i moved out of my home state for law school--but right before i moved i met a guy when i was out bar hopping with my friends. Every now and then i would get a text from him and i would respond--but it was a quick text and lengthy time in between texts--well recently his text have increased--i asked to be his friend on facebook--becuase i was drunk that nite and also a lot of time has lapsed and i don't remember what he looks like--i just remember that i thought he was cute (but who knows what i would think now)... he has no pics of himself on facebook....
a little background info... So the thing is i always tell myself my life would be great if i had a guy in it--but i realized that i always sabatoge my chances before the guy even has a chance at all becuase i just can't deal with it--i am terriffied of having a relationship--anything related to it makes me freeze up--even just a simple date becuase i fear intimacy--a date has the potential to lead to intimacy---i am just terrified--i am already anxious thinking about it--my stomache is twisting into knots so he just texted me and asked if i had any special plans over thanksgiving break...and the thought of seeing him made me terrified---i am all of sudden dreading going home when before i was excited---because now someone appears to be into me---i dont know what to do to get over the panick of knowing someone likes me and what that could lead to...(maybe it is my insecurities...of feeling overweight and ugly) but it has to be more than that---i just cant conceive the fact that someone would like me and the thought terrifies me another fear of mine is heights---and if you made me choose one to perform over the other i would say take me to the tallest mountain! this is not normal and i know i need to do something about it before i become the 40 year old virgin...or the crazy old cat lady (i dont own any cats yet)...but what can i do Posted on 11/03/09, 09:11 pm |
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Try to calm down for now, and know that you don't have to see this guy if you don't want to. It sounds like the larger issue for you though is the fear of intimacy with a boyfriend. I think that's something that could take a while to get to the root issue of why that is. Have you ever been in therapy? It just seems like that may be a good idea to help guide you through that process of self discovery. I can say that therapy helped me to sort through a lot of things. It seems like it's causing you alot of stress so I think it would be worth it to work through it. 
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totally agree.
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You are fortunate here, in that while you attend college they often have excellent counselors you can go to. I went to one myself, while going to college, though my big issue was, I got a C grade lol.
Seriously the counselors I encountered, as well as what my friends encountered, were really good. And it is done professionally just like out in the "real world". I know college is like a world in its own. Something to remember, you are not the onlly one who put off a relationship in your life because you are not quite ready!! So your not alone and get this..you are smarter because you realize you might have to work on you first!!!! Working on being healthy as a single person will make you a better partner in any relationship whether it is love or friendship! I wish I had been as smart as you in my 20s. Secondly, please know everyone has fears of dating, everyone!!! There are those fears of first impressions and usually the hardest part is placing expectations out there, when if you look at it as making a new friend first, it really helps take some of that pressure off. I think we all believe we have to be somewhere in the love relationship arena to be "normal". Not so, its what works for you and has nothing to do with anyone elses timning.
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