What is Anxiety
Anxiety refers to a complex combination of negative emotions that includes fear, apprehension and worry, and is often accompanied by physical sensations such as palpitations, nause...
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I had my first panic attack when I was 28 driving home from a job about two hours from my house. My second one came on the way out to dinner with my high school sweet heart and she though I was having a heart attack.
That was 11 years ago and I have had good days and really bad days since then. I married my high school sweet heart and did my best but she could not deal with my anxiety and left. I wanted to scream at her that I was the same person as I always was. I wanted her to stick by me and help so we could have the life we used to but I did not feel I was worth caring about. I hated myself more than anyone ever could I felt like such a coward. I loaded up my three dogs and sit in my classic car with the garade door closed. I started the car and just sat there petting my dogs. For some reason I shut off the car and went to bed and cried all night. I look back on that day if I was just brave enough, had passed out from drinking, all my psin would have been over then. I stumbled through the next three years drunk every chance I got. I lost most of my friends over that three years and many I have not talked to since. I stopped by an old friends house about that time. She was the ex wife of an old friend of mine. She brought hope and light back into my life and I fell in love with here and got my act together for the most part. She really loved me and I loved here. I must of had some value if someone like her loved me so much. We dated for about a year when things started to get screwed up. She had some trust issues due to her ex husband cheating on her. She would snoop around my computer, cell phone bills, etc. We fought about this a lot and broke up a few times. I had enough of her not trusting her and though if I made her my wife things would change. Sad to say they did not and she moved out 11 months after we got married. So here I am just over a year later and my anxiety is setting all tie records. I am all alone and cry every day. I was forced to put my house up for sale to pay off my ex wife and in 3 months only a few people have even looked at it. The market is so bad and the deadline to pay her is coming up fast. I asked her through my lawyer (she has not talked to me in a year) to give me more time or to take out a short term loan I would make the payments on but she won't. I have never been under so much stress. On top of all this any day I have to make the call to put my dog to sleep that I have had for 13 years since a pup. He has cancer under his chin and has to take pain meds twice a day. I really need a friend, someone to talk to but I just don't have anyone. Ray Posted on 07/03/09, 10:07 am |
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Hey Ray, I know where you're at right now, I've been there too many times, young as I may be, and while I can't give you a magical cure or say something that will make all of your pain and anxiety go away, I can be here for you and be you're friend. I'm here if you need to talk. 
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Hi Ray, I am so sorry you are going through all of this. I hate panic ! It sounds like you are having a tough time. We are here to listen and support you. I am also so sorry about your dog - animals are our best friends. I have three cats and a bunny myself. May I ask if you have seen a doctor at all ? They may be able to help you, especially right now during this difficult time. If you cannot do that, just try to take one day at a time. I know you are going to grieve, if you are not already. Be kind to yourself, and make sure you take care of yourelf too. I do not think drinking is the answer, but I do understand as I was an alcoholic at one time. It;s very hard not to do something to make you feel better. You have friends here, now at DS. Feel free to message me anytime. Good luck with the house and have faith that it will sell.
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Ray, sorry to hear about all that and you are not alone - you have us!! I suffer from anxiety & panic attacks too, so I can relate to that. Yes, take just a little bit at a time. Go for a nice walk to a park and just sit back and try & relax. Come here & just ramble, talk or whatever. I just started seeing a therapist and it feels so good to just get things out. I am here for you as a friend too. I hope you have a wonderful Friday!!
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Hi Ray, I'm new to this support group. I just read your story and I feel for you. Sounds like you're under a lot of pressure.
Making the decision to have to put your beloved dog to sleep must have been heart-wrenching. I've been there and know that it's not easy. If you get a chance look up the poem Rainbow Bridge online. I think it will bring you some comfort. I know it comforted me when I had to put one of my animals to sleep. Anxiety and panic attacks are horrid situations to deal with. I've had them for the last 4 years...since we found out that my mother was dying from colon cancer and has continued through her passing, a fractured marriage to an abusive alcoholic, and now a divorce. Anxiety and panic have been my compaions on daily basis for the last year and 1/2. Those out there who have never suffered from the attacks don't understand why we don't "just get a grip". If it were that easy, none of us would be on meds and life would be wonderful. I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better. You are NOT alone. This site has so many wonderful people that understand what you are feeling and what you're going through. DO NOT GIVE UP HOPE and keep coming back here! Tomorrow is a new day and full of promise.
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Ray
Like everyone has said we all have been there and some of us are still there. i am struggling right now myself. i hate changing meds and having to go through all the terrible side effects. it just adds to the anxiety. i see a counsler and it really does help to talk my problems out. i usually go in there so full of panic but by the time i leave i am much more relaxed and she even gets a smile out of me. dont give up. i know what it is like to loose an animal. i had to put one of my dogs to sleep last june. she had cancer as well. my dogs bring me so much joy and keep me from being so lonely. the are many great people on here if you need to talk.
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