Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
Week Three.....New Habits, Turn Negatives to Positives!
Have you heard the idiom....Slow and Steady Wins the Race....well the same goes with anxiety and resulting depression. To overcome them we need to take it slow. That is why we are doing this support group week by week. By taking it slow, we give our brains the opportunity to make new neuron connections. We literally can rewire our brains by making new pathways to think differently. Researchers and scientists call this Brain Plasticity. This is exceptionally great news, because, if you have anxiety or resulting depression......you can change the thoughts that are keeping you in this condition.
Here is how this is done.....
First off,...anxiety and the resulting depression are habits....that is all that it is....a habit!
Not all habits are bad though. We all have the habit of putting on our clothes before we leave the house in the morning. Brushing your teeth is a habit, looking both ways before crossing the street is a habit, locking your door when you leave your house is a habit. These are examples of good habits.
Anxiety and depression are also habits....bad habits, but, really nothing more then habits! The habit, is negative thinking.....yep....that's it....problem solved.....stop thinking negatively and everything will be OK!!! Hahah...yea right!
Here's the secret, (which also turns out to be the truth)....in order to break a habit....you need to replace it with another habit....SAY WHAT???
You heard me right....in order to break a habit, you need to replace it with another habit.....a positive habit! It took you a long time to create those anxious thoughts and it will take a little time to rewire them to something a bit more positive. Once you do the rewiring though....they will be good to go for the rest of your life. OK....now how do we rewire our brains and make new neuron connections and pathways to think more positively?
That, my dear, is what this week is all about!!!!
You are about to rewire your brain by challenging your negative thoughts from here on out. That little book that I asked you to get for your homework assignment from last week, will become your pathway to helping to rewire your brain....for the positive!
Here's what we are gonna do:
You know how it seems that sometimes your anxiety goes from zero to sixty in a second. Well, we are going to rely on that warning system of ours again. The minute your warning system goes off, I want you to...STOP.....then ask yourself...WHAT WAS I JUST THINKING?????
Next,
Take your deep breaths and activate your parasympathetic nervous system. (Remember the system that activates calm...check week two if you need a refresher...this is all new stuff!) Now, what ever it was that you were just thinking....WRITE IT DOWN! Believe me, these thoughts are so fast that if we don't get it down on paper we will forget it by the time we get a chance later on. I remember times when I would be at a gathering and my warning system would go off. I would excuse myself, go to the restroom and write my thought down in there. Nobody even knew what I was doing.
Once you have your negative thought written down, then....immediately write a counter thought, something more positive, soothing, compassionate, logical and truthful. If you are unable to come up with a positive thought right then, then do it later....just don't forget to do it.
Note on Negative Thoughts:
If you were like me, you may have a hard time catching these negative thoughts. I had become so used to them that I had a hard time seeing that they are negetive.
So what is a negative thought??!
Any thought that makes you feel.......Sad
Worthless
Unattractive
Unintelligent
Unloved
Unappreciated
Depressed
Scared
Helpless
Doomed
Out of control
Unhealthy....when you are healthy
Nervous
I really could go on and on.....basically a negative thought is anything that makes you feel bad!
So what so a positive thought???
Any thought that makes you feel......Peaceful
Comforted
Confident
Self esteemed
Energetic
Loved
Intelligent
Attractive
Worthwhile
Capable
Important
Basically anything that makes you feel good about yourself and the world around you is a positive thought!!!
True story about me:
I know that the reason it took me so long to overcome anxiety and depression was that I was a super negative thinker. I literally tried every avenue under the sun to overcome this condition. If someone was to tell me this program works for about 99.99% of the folks whom try. I would definitely be in the .01% that it did not work for. I am not exaggerating this.... I was such a negative thinker. As I began to work on learning how to change my thoughts to more positive....I began to learn something very important.
YOU WILL BELIEVE WHAT YOU THINK
If you think negative and believe that you will never get over anxiety and depression,...well guess what,...you won't! If you learn how to change those negative thoughts around and learn to think positive....and if you tell yourself that you will get over anxiety and depression,....guess what,....YOU WILL!!!
Are you ready to start changing those negative habitual thoughts?
HOMEWORK:
1) Look out for your warning system
2) WHAT WAS I JUST THINKING??? ....Write down the negative thought!
3) Write down a more positive, compassionate, and logical response.
If you get stuck...don't worry about it. It takes a while to come up with positive thoughts when we have worked so hard to think negatively. You will get it eventually. Before you know it, positive thoughts will start to become your new habit. We will be working on this from here on out. Bring on Brain Plasticity!
Please share your examples of negative to positive thoughts, so others can be inspired.... Here is an example post:
NEGATIVE THOUGHT:
Ugh...the holidays....I am sooo stressed out. I don't know how I am going to make it through next week. I still need to purchase gifts. I hate going to the mall. Money is tight...and that holiday gathering is going to be tough on my nerves. I feel like crying.
POSITIVE:
Alright...the truth is, the holidays are not the problem....my thoughts are. I'm going to take a deep breath and see if I can relax a moment here. First off... I will make it through this week because this year I am going to actively work on making it better by replacing my negative thoughts with positive thoughts! Secondly, money is tight....so maybe instead of going to the mall.... I can go to the market. I saw a great recipe on Pinterest on how to make candied nuts. Maybe I will make up a big batch of nuts and give them as gifts with a note saying how much I appreciate each person I give them to. As for the gatherings. Social events do make me nervous....but, I know this is just a habit. I am going to go to the gathering and take some deep breaths to activate that parasympathetic nervous system, if needed. I will be fine...after all I am breaking bad habits and making positive ones....this will be great homework! I will be fine. Who knows, I may end up even enjoying the holidays!
Another Example:
NEGATIVE THOUGHT:
I have had anxiety and depression for so long....I never will get over this condition!
POSITIVE THOUGHT:
I may have had this condition for years but now I am learning ways to overcome it. I just didn't know how to fix it before. How could I fix something with out tools. Now I am learning the tools to fix myself. Anxiety is a habit and I am going to work on breaking this habit. As far as getting over this condition....I suppose I won't know if it is possible unless I try. I am going to continue to write down all of my negative thoughts and replace them with thoughts that make me feel more soothed, comforted and loved. I am going to talk to myself like I would talk to a small child who was scared or a friend who is in desperate need of my help. I am going to learn to love me and overcome these negative thoughts....one at a time.....until I no longer need to write them down and positivity becomes my new habit.
Note:
This last example was me about 5 years ago. I no longer need to write my negative thoughts down! Anxiety and depression disorder is a thing in my past. You can get there too!
I can't wait to see your negative to positive posts!
Next week we will be adding on and I will be telling you about the power of exercise and diet......just in time for the new year!
My best to you!
Have you heard the idiom....Slow and Steady Wins the Race....well the same goes with anxiety and resulting depression. To overcome them we need to take it slow. That is why we are doing this support group week by week. By taking it slow, we give our brains the opportunity to make new neuron connections. We literally can rewire our brains by making new pathways to think differently. Researchers and scientists call this Brain Plasticity. This is exceptionally great news, because, if you have anxiety or resulting depression......you can change the thoughts that are keeping you in this condition.
Here is how this is done.....
First off,...anxiety and the resulting depression are habits....that is all that it is....a habit!
Not all habits are bad though. We all have the habit of putting on our clothes before we leave the house in the morning. Brushing your teeth is a habit, looking both ways before crossing the street is a habit, locking your door when you leave your house is a habit. These are examples of good habits.
Anxiety and depression are also habits....bad habits, but, really nothing more then habits! The habit, is negative thinking.....yep....that's it....problem solved.....stop thinking negatively and everything will be OK!!! Hahah...yea right!
Here's the secret, (which also turns out to be the truth)....in order to break a habit....you need to replace it with another habit....SAY WHAT???
You heard me right....in order to break a habit, you need to replace it with another habit.....a positive habit! It took you a long time to create those anxious thoughts and it will take a little time to rewire them to something a bit more positive. Once you do the rewiring though....they will be good to go for the rest of your life. OK....now how do we rewire our brains and make new neuron connections and pathways to think more positively?
That, my dear, is what this week is all about!!!!
You are about to rewire your brain by challenging your negative thoughts from here on out. That little book that I asked you to get for your homework assignment from last week, will become your pathway to helping to rewire your brain....for the positive!
Here's what we are gonna do:
You know how it seems that sometimes your anxiety goes from zero to sixty in a second. Well, we are going to rely on that warning system of ours again. The minute your warning system goes off, I want you to...STOP.....then ask yourself...WHAT WAS I JUST THINKING?????
Next,
Take your deep breaths and activate your parasympathetic nervous system. (Remember the system that activates calm...check week two if you need a refresher...this is all new stuff!) Now, what ever it was that you were just thinking....WRITE IT DOWN! Believe me, these thoughts are so fast that if we don't get it down on paper we will forget it by the time we get a chance later on. I remember times when I would be at a gathering and my warning system would go off. I would excuse myself, go to the restroom and write my thought down in there. Nobody even knew what I was doing.
Once you have your negative thought written down, then....immediately write a counter thought, something more positive, soothing, compassionate, logical and truthful. If you are unable to come up with a positive thought right then, then do it later....just don't forget to do it.
Note on Negative Thoughts:
If you were like me, you may have a hard time catching these negative thoughts. I had become so used to them that I had a hard time seeing that they are negetive.
So what is a negative thought??!
Any thought that makes you feel.......Sad
Worthless
Unattractive
Unintelligent
Unloved
Unappreciated
Depressed
Scared
Helpless
Doomed
Out of control
Unhealthy....when you are healthy
Nervous
I really could go on and on.....basically a negative thought is anything that makes you feel bad!
So what so a positive thought???
Any thought that makes you feel......Peaceful
Comforted
Confident
Self esteemed
Energetic
Loved
Intelligent
Attractive
Worthwhile
Capable
Important
Basically anything that makes you feel good about yourself and the world around you is a positive thought!!!
True story about me:
I know that the reason it took me so long to overcome anxiety and depression was that I was a super negative thinker. I literally tried every avenue under the sun to overcome this condition. If someone was to tell me this program works for about 99.99% of the folks whom try. I would definitely be in the .01% that it did not work for. I am not exaggerating this.... I was such a negative thinker. As I began to work on learning how to change my thoughts to more positive....I began to learn something very important.
YOU WILL BELIEVE WHAT YOU THINK
If you think negative and believe that you will never get over anxiety and depression,...well guess what,...you won't! If you learn how to change those negative thoughts around and learn to think positive....and if you tell yourself that you will get over anxiety and depression,....guess what,....YOU WILL!!!
Are you ready to start changing those negative habitual thoughts?
HOMEWORK:
1) Look out for your warning system
2) WHAT WAS I JUST THINKING??? ....Write down the negative thought!
3) Write down a more positive, compassionate, and logical response.
If you get stuck...don't worry about it. It takes a while to come up with positive thoughts when we have worked so hard to think negatively. You will get it eventually. Before you know it, positive thoughts will start to become your new habit. We will be working on this from here on out. Bring on Brain Plasticity!
Please share your examples of negative to positive thoughts, so others can be inspired.... Here is an example post:
NEGATIVE THOUGHT:
Ugh...the holidays....I am sooo stressed out. I don't know how I am going to make it through next week. I still need to purchase gifts. I hate going to the mall. Money is tight...and that holiday gathering is going to be tough on my nerves. I feel like crying.
POSITIVE:
Alright...the truth is, the holidays are not the problem....my thoughts are. I'm going to take a deep breath and see if I can relax a moment here. First off... I will make it through this week because this year I am going to actively work on making it better by replacing my negative thoughts with positive thoughts! Secondly, money is tight....so maybe instead of going to the mall.... I can go to the market. I saw a great recipe on Pinterest on how to make candied nuts. Maybe I will make up a big batch of nuts and give them as gifts with a note saying how much I appreciate each person I give them to. As for the gatherings. Social events do make me nervous....but, I know this is just a habit. I am going to go to the gathering and take some deep breaths to activate that parasympathetic nervous system, if needed. I will be fine...after all I am breaking bad habits and making positive ones....this will be great homework! I will be fine. Who knows, I may end up even enjoying the holidays!
Another Example:
NEGATIVE THOUGHT:
I have had anxiety and depression for so long....I never will get over this condition!
POSITIVE THOUGHT:
I may have had this condition for years but now I am learning ways to overcome it. I just didn't know how to fix it before. How could I fix something with out tools. Now I am learning the tools to fix myself. Anxiety is a habit and I am going to work on breaking this habit. As far as getting over this condition....I suppose I won't know if it is possible unless I try. I am going to continue to write down all of my negative thoughts and replace them with thoughts that make me feel more soothed, comforted and loved. I am going to talk to myself like I would talk to a small child who was scared or a friend who is in desperate need of my help. I am going to learn to love me and overcome these negative thoughts....one at a time.....until I no longer need to write them down and positivity becomes my new habit.
Note:
This last example was me about 5 years ago. I no longer need to write my negative thoughts down! Anxiety and depression disorder is a thing in my past. You can get there too!
I can't wait to see your negative to positive posts!
Next week we will be adding on and I will be telling you about the power of exercise and diet......just in time for the new year!
My best to you!
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My day...today...misplaced my debit card...didn't realize it until I got to the register after shopping to a full cart. Used a different debit card and pulled apart everything looking for missing debit card before I left parking lot. Got home, dropped keys. So now I have a missing debit card, missing keys. A full cartload to unload and put away. I got everything put away.Dumped purse for a...
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I don't really know how to label this but I having a rough week and I can't say it's one thing.... I have a lot on my plate which is nothing new and I try to cope in many positive ways and do but I still have my moments.My kids more so my daughters talk to me about everything which I know it's cause of comfort and we are close.... however I really struggle with the venting about their dad which...
The first success I had was with the bully neighbor: I used to shake, tremble, and be afraid of my shadow in the front yard. Now, I go out and enjoy the garden in front, and ignore the neighbor's antics, with positive feelings! Of course, it took a lot of practice, some off the wall thoughts to get to the comfortable zone, and yes, worth it!
Best wishes to everyone, this is a good one to use to switch your thought process!
How ironic.....and this post confirms it.
I have a ton of writing to do.....some of these thoughts go waaaayyyyy back into my early childhood.
Thanks for your time and giving such an important and wonderful gift.
I'm on board!
Keep posting those negetive to positive thoughts.....you not only inspire others on this site who are working to overcome anxiety and the resulting depression....but you have also inspired me!
As always...my best to you all!
I have been using the power of positive thinking for a long time and I find it works great.
Last week I had a particularly bad day because something from the childhood abuse came up. When this happens I usually feel sick to my stomach. I am terrified of vomiting and have had this phobia for 34 years. This is my last huge hurtle in the healing process from the abuse and it's a tough one. The past year I have been saying to myself, every day, many many times a day, 'throwing up can not hurt me. It can not kill me'. Last week, on that terrible day, I was in a panic because I thought I was going to vomit. Then...for half a second..I wasn't afraid of it. I felt the panic subside every so briefly and the fear was gone. It came back full force after that but it was a snapshot of the things to come and I am so grateful to have felt it. This was a snapshot of the things to come - a nice peaceful life with no fear. I can't wait! :-)
I tell this not to discourage people in thinking their positive thinking will take a year or more to work - it likely won't. I have had this phobia for 34 years and for a very specific reason so it is taking a long time to heal it. But IT IS HEALING. The positive thinking IS WORKING.
It doesn't happen over night but it will happen if you stick with it. Even if you don't see the results immediately - it is working.
Some negative thoughts I have is:
I have been dealing with anxiety now for ten years and depression for seven. I found my way out of depression three years ago but maybe I will never find my way out of anxiety.
More positive thought:
Others before me have related and they have been able to overcome anxiety. I am trying and I am dedicated to slowly but surely taking my power back and facing my anxiety head on, showing it that it can not hold me back down any longer. I am not afraid of it any more and the feelings I have of fear, are just that feelings. And those "feelings" can't hurt me. They may be scary and I might just want to run but facing them head on takes a lot of courage and will show myself that I am a whole heck of a lot stronger than I ever thought I could be!!! I can do this, it won't happen overnight but in time I will notice that small improvements and changes will keep building on each other and it will slowly become easier to put all the tools I know and am learning into practice so that I can turn this anxiety habit into a positive habit!
TigerLily....you will do well with these posts. You naturally have a positive spirit. I can't wait to see you negative to positive posts.....anxiety does not stand a chance once you get rolling with this homework. Remember....negative thoughts are anything that make you feel bad. You go girl...start turning them around!
Just thought I'd share it and hopefully inspire one or more of you to do the same, it was pretty fun actually :)
Turning negatives into positives Mood Restricted Content - Just Friends
Tuesday, December 24, 2013
As I was typing this out (the title above) I was explaining to my husband the concept of writing down my thoughts (negatives) when I feel anxiety symptoms coming on and then writing down a positive thought to replace the negative. As I typed out the title I did so and said aloud to husband "Turning positives into negatives"... then we both laughed, and he said that could be the definition of anxiety. I know that my brain is very good at turning seemingly "positive" things into negatives so I know deep down it is equally capable of doing the opposite, it might just take a little more effort at first until it becomes a habit.
Thoughts that are negative- ones that make you feel bad- unintelligent, unattractive, not interesting, not capable, etc.
Positive thoughts- make you feel peaceful, contented, comforted, happy, confident.
Turning negatives into positives: (recent negative thoughts)
1.) I will never be able to take the CNA test and pass because I will be so nervous for the skills part of the test out that I will completely forget everything and just do a horrible job. I wasn't this nervous for the test ten years ago, how could I become so much less confident in ten years, even though deep down I know I'm competent, what is wrong with me? How come other people have confidence in me, but I am the very last person to have confidence in myself.
A more positive thought: If I study and practice for the skills part of the test, practice on Micah or family or friends, then I will be ready for that portion of the test. I know I have the knowledge already to do pretty well on the written. I just need to practice the skills part and walk through it all step by step. There is absolutely nothing wrong with me, I just want to do well but I need to allow myself the ability to sometimes fall down, and know that I am strong, and that I will be back up again, stronger than ever. I will do this (CNA test out) because it will open up a lot of doors in the future. I know I will likely be very nervous but that's okay, this is just a part of who I am and it just shows me how happy I will be once I overcome this minor hurdle. I need to realize it's alright if I fail sometimes in life, as long as I keep on trying and going after what I want to do in life.
2.) I will never be the best possible wife that I want to be. I have in my head examples of what this should be like, my grandma's, mom and mother in law are all wonderful people and were/are wonderful wives. This was one of my goals this year, to become a wonderful wife, day in and day out. I just feel like I am not going to live up to my expectations. I know how much Micah deserves and I feel like I fail to deliver consistently. I just want to be the best possible wife for him, without messing it up by having off days where I am down or not really good at taking care of myself, because then it puts more pressure on him because he has to step in and make sure I'm doing the most basic of things to take care of myself.
A more positive thought: I am doing my best and the fact that I want to be better shows me that I have the ambition and motivation to improve. I am already so much better in this relationship than I was just four years ago. I am learning to take care of myself and master my own issues so that we can just enjoy our relationship without all those other stresses interfering with everything. I have motivation to master my anxiety this year and doing that will allow me to become an even better wife. When I feel better, Micah and I have more fun and we feel more carefree. We can joke around with each other more, be more spontaneous, and the atmosphere is lighter. I want to beat my anxiety to help improve my own life and also all other relationships in life, including my marriage. I know I have great role models on what kind of a person and wife I would like to be. It's not going to happen overnight or even in one year. But what's important is that I keep taking small positive steps in the right direction :) !!
TigerLily..... Wonderful negative to positive posts. Way to go! I am sure others will be able to relate....thanks you for posting these.
I truly look forward to the coming weeks with each of you. I have been so inspired by you all!
Peace and love to you and your families!