Anxiety Support Group

All I can suggest is that you write out in a journal and then put the thoughts into a "worry" box for a set time to look at and work on.

Hope you are able to switch your thinking.

Best wishes.

Anxiety has caused me to end many relationships. I hope you two can make it.

Best wishes.

What is it with the fear of breakign up? Are you affraid to be alone? I think there are alot of people iwth this fear as they dont want to be alone. Its hard for me to let someone go because i want to get married and settled down, and in the end i am just wasting time trying to make something work that will not work out in end.

A break up can shatter your hopes, your dreams, your stability. I had that fear for a long time and it seemed irrational. I avoided all possibilities at relationships because I thought that it would be too much to have to break up and I felt that yes a break up would kill me not physically but emotionally.
Your thinking is saying that you will be all right if you break up and you have a good support system but your emotions are saying no you will not be allright. Emotions overwhelm logic, that is something I know all too well.

Being emotional always has it's ups and downs and hopefully you can separate the emotion from the equation and look at it realistically and then that may calm you enough to relax within the relationship which then causes a release of fear that makes the relationship even better therefore more resistant to breaking up.

I write all this knowing this in my head but my emotions still fight it. But if you can feel secure and communicate well with your BF then that could go a long way towards feeling calmer, or less anxious.
I am working on that too, to be not so fearful, which as I have found it opens up new possibilities to be happy and secure in a relationship and less fearful of how you will react if you do break up.
anyway,..........communicate your fears to BF maybe he will understand and then work with you instead of you having a fear of conflict.
I can so relate to what you wrote. I am at a much better place now with my emotions. And my life.

Yes, bookworm, you have hit it exactly on the head. I'm in a vicious circle right now where I'm so afraid that I've messed up too bad and we'll break up because of it that it makes me really nervous which makes me feel like I'm screwing it up even more, which makes me even more nervous, etc. Realistically, I don't believe there is much chance of us breaking up right now. Emotionally, I can NOT get my head on straight to believe that. I know my emotional response is out of proportion to the situation and I've already told him once that our "fight" has set my anxiety through the roof. I do not want to get into a pattern where I rely on him to reassure me because he already has so I am not going to bring it up to him again. It's up to ME to reassure myself. Otherwise, I'd be asking him every five minutes, "are we okay NOW?" (and that for sure would end up in him dumping me!)

I have been trying for three days now to calm down and reassure myself and I don't know if I'm making any progress. I'm staying as positive as I can but it's really tough. I'm losing hope...

I was the same way when I started dating my boyfriend...but after three years and a wedding later, I'm finally starting to believe that my husband (NEVER thought I'd say that) is in it for the long haul. I would suggest being honest with him about it. That's what I did, and it helped a lot because he was able to reassure me, whereas if I said nothing, he would just think I was 'in a mood' or something.

Nikkins, that was a nice message, thanks, it gives me hope. I feel like I've already been honest with him. I've already admitted to him that I'm insecure and that I'm afraid of messing everything up. I already told him that I feel very anxious and fragile after our disagreement. Now I feel like it's up to me.

How often can I ask for his reassurance before it gets old?