Anxiety Support Group

Maybe you haven't found the right guy yet???

I dont know totally what your going through with ocd stuff. but i get what you mean about thinking bad stuff about people you date. i get so worried im going to get hurt by their bad qualities i look for all the bad things in people so early on. ive dumped people for really stupid reasons, mostly because im worried about getting hurt. men in my world have pretended to be amazing magical men then take off their mask after a while and show their monster underneath. i try and find the monster first. hope that helps in some way.

Have things been ok since u came back from california with him

gettingitstraight: Things have been good and i cant remember what day it was but i just couldnt stop looking at him and soaking him him. It felt so good to just even look at him. Guess cuz i wasnt sure what was gonna happen when everything went down. So it was kinda like a realization. Just looking at him made me feel so happy.

I havent seen him in a week or more i cant remember. He got a new job and has been working 10am-6:30pm so when he gets off work, takes the bus home, eats and gets settled in i am going to bed. So we havent really talked much and our normal amount of txting has gone down to almost nothing cuz he cant txt at work. I have only worked one day in the past 6 days so i have been off and really bored so that doesnt help. But i have felt very distant and i dont like it. He is going to have this schedule for 2 more weeks which sucks. I am going to see him tonight and the next few days but for only parts of the day as i work those days. I really hate not being with him then it's like i forget things about us ya know?

I also hate the fact that i dont know what is meant to be so i am so focused on every little thing like does this mean it is meant to be does this mean it isnt? Ugh.... i need to just let things be and let things flow...

I read this somewhere or heard it...I can't remember.....but anyway..it said something to the effect of OCD attacks what we care the most about. I have OCD and have found this to be true. I won't go in to my vast array of examples....but I do get this. I look at it like this....if you were having these same bad thoughts with just a guy that you knew...but didn't love....then you'd probably care less....but when you have these thoughts towards someone you really care for..it really bothers you...and the fact that you care for them is why it bothers you. If you didn't care for them...like the random guy that I mention above....then none of these thoughts would bother you more than likely.

remember when you first met. Remember all those good times and all the support he gave you. Remember how wonderful it was that you had somebody that understood

I remember and it sure seemed real to me.

Just like the "gay" question you have to use your cognitave mind to work this out. ...

I know how you feel! Ive had a hard time with every gf I ever had. I get weird thoughts about them or I dont think I should be with them.every once in awhile I do feel normal around them and it is so nice. Dont know y It cant be like that all the time.My gf is so good to me and I feel so guilty about how I feel around hher! Drives me nuts! If you find an answer let me know ! Thanks

BabyMonkey - having any kind of mental illness in your life puts pressure on everything, money, work or relationships, but, we must learn to understand that certain irrational thoughts we have are not US they are infiltrators. We must learn to ignore them and realise that we do deserve happiness, or that new car or the promotion. I think the OCD thing just can make you feel inadequate and a bit unequal and like any living thing that is scared, when your back is up against the wall you can react with 'push them away 'tactics'. You have know this guy for a while and he's still around, keep going honey, soak him in when you see him and tell yourself you deserve to be happy!

BabyMonkey - I suffer from this problem too and it often leads me to despair, even worse, i'm married with 2 children. We just have to keep going and let the thoughts come. i've noticed over time that it's gotten better too, although i still have this OCD a bit. you may also try considering Ibogaine. It changes your thought patterns.

Thank you all for responding! I went over to his place last night. Wish we got to spend more time together as it definitely wasnt enough. But i do realize i tend to worry more and get my ocd going when we are apart then when we are together everything just flows and seems normal. But then i leave again and i forget what it's like to be physically together.