Advertisement




More DailyStrength
Health Event Calendar
See what's new on the site
Step-by-step Tutorials
How to use DailyStrength
We're on Facebook
Check out our page
Follow us on Twitter
Read our tweets
Get Cool DS Stuff!!!!!
Shirts, Hats, Baby Wear
Discussion:
Anxiety over ex
Watch this 
View More Posts Ignore
having a hard time breathing right now...found out the man i just broke up with is now with someone else and it hurts so much.. i keep having images of him with another woman and its almost unbearable... i know he screwed up majorly in our relationship and maybe i should stop thinking about him but he is always on my mind... :( how can i stop these images from replaying in my brain? i think this is just part of anxiety
Posted on 06/24/12, 10:23 pm
7 Replies Add Your Reply
Reminder: This is a support group for Anxiety. We trust you will do your best to remain positive and helpful. For more information, see our rules of the road.

You may also create your own Member Groups where you can moderate the discussion.
Comment:
Email me when others reply to this topic help
View More Posts Ignore
Reply #1 - 06/24/12  10:35pm
" First off, don't kid yourself, it is going to hurt. How long will it hurt? It is different for everybody. I think this is normal with a little bit of anxiety. It is normal to think the person you broke up with is now having the time of their lives while you are down in the dumps. My youngest sister just got out of a long term relationship. I will tell you what I told her, it is okay to cry and cry as much as you need to. Sooner than later you will realize you are a great person and you can make it through this. It is too bad your ex is already with another person but that just speaks about his character. I will also say it is normal for you to think your ex and the new person he is with are having a great time. You are just thinking the worst. I hope you realize you are an amazing person and everything will work out. If you want someone to talk to feel free to message me. "
View More Posts Ignore
Reply #2 - 06/24/12  11:31pm
" Your ex most likely couldn't be alone. You are wanting a relationship and that is why you are missing him. Even though he treated you awful you still are unsettled that he is moving on. The next girl will have to put up with the same things. He didn't change his stripes overnight. So, just tell yourself you will find someone who treats you great and you will be better off. In time he will be a distant memory. Just think of this. If you were seeing someone awesome right now you wouldn't even think twice about him, now would you. :) Be kind to yourself and in time it will get easier! "
View More Posts Ignore
Reply #3 - 06/25/12  3:46pm
" It takes a lot of time. It helps if you can keep your thoughts positive. Loving yourself, taking care of yourself is what is important. I've been reading a lot about shifting perspectives in the face of anxiety. For example, instead of the point of view that this person is now happy with someone else, consider that their ability to move on so quickly speaks volumes about their character, and that this opportunity is a positive step out of a potentially negative situation. You now have the chance to find happiness with someone who genuinely cares about you. It may not seem that way right now - but we can control how these anxious thoughts impact us. Love yourself and you'll find someone that loves you. Just hang in there. "
View More Posts Ignore
Reply #4 - 06/25/12  3:46pm
" It's really hard knowing that the person you broke up with is with someone else, even when you don't want to be with them. I think that having the anxiety makes it worse because people like us have such a hard time getting our brains to stop thinking about it. It will stop, but unfortunately, it will take time. But don't forget that there was a reason you broke up with him, and that hasn't changed. Try to keep yourself busy and concentrate on doing things that make you feel good. Maybe working out so you feel good physically will help. I know it's super hard. I wish I had better advice, but you have friends here to support you. "
View More Posts Ignore
Reply #5 - 06/25/12  4:58pm
" Breakups are never easy. I suffer greatly from the past, past hurts, past anything. The more negative the more I remember, dates, times, places, where I was, what was said.

Yesterday my wife and I are married 12 yrs. We have been together for 18 yrs (minus a 6-month break up). Of those six months we did not talk for 2.

To this date, it kills me that she was with others during our break, but I was with someone too and for all the wrong reasons, just didn't want to be alone.

I am sure she struggled with our end, but she always says you can't look back.

I've come to the point of almost destroying our marriage because I still cannot let go. These people pop in and out of her life thanks to the internet and I really let it get to me.

You really have to let go and yes, imagining them with someone else is difficult....I understand. Married 12 yrs and it still crosses my mind cause in my world of anxiety, lack of self confidence, etc, I always wonder, "Could he have been better'

don't beat yourself up to much, this will pass, enjoy your life and find someone who deserves you. "
View More Posts Ignore
Reply #6 - 06/25/12  8:31pm
" Please know that you are not alone - we also understand just how you feel. I'm going through very similar feelings and the only relief I have for today is knowing I have an appointment with a good therapist later this week.

I'm in the process of a divorce after being married for over a decade to a control freak. We've been separated for a year and a half and have four children together. I initiated the divorce because I wanted a healthier atmosphere for my children and peace for me. In the last six months I reconnected with my high school crush and we both fell for one another....until recently. Granted he lives over 3,000 miles away from me and has children like I do so logistically, it may not work....but I had hopes that it would work for us because of all our commonalities.

So, now I'm dealing with the anger/resentment that I have towards my soon to be ex (divorce is nearly final) and the loss of someone I genuinely cared for.....I never got a good explanation of why the relationship ended...it just slowly ended. Sometimes, I think it is easier when it ends abruptly....that way you can get over it faster.

There are other factors attributing to my anxieties - and I do my best to avoid medication - however, recently they are worsening and I need to seek a way to find solace before it consumes my persona.

I agree with some of the others - allow yourself time to grief. You cared for someone and now that relationship is not the same. Watch a sad movie so you can let it out. Do something that you enjoy doing. Treat yourself to a nice meal. Be kind to yourself and by all means - do not blame yourself.

I enjoy walking/jogging and like to be out in nature. When we appreciate nature's beauty we find comfort in other areas as well. Focus on what is good - focus on what makes you feel happy. Listen to a song that you like that lifts you up. Paint a picture if you like art. Bake a dessert if you enjoy baking. Find something that is part of who you are and allow it to be a big part of your life.

Curl up with a good book, watch a sitcom,.....one thing that became my cure for anxiety was a glass of wine and an episode of Desperate Housewives. You will find something....and one last thing for now.....write a list of all your positive qualities and focus on being the best you that you can be. "
View More Posts Ignore
Reply #7 - 06/25/12  9:38pm
" Hey I know it is hard. I was with a guy for a year and a half and he is the military. Right now he is in training and the past month we have been on a break.I was doing good for two weeks, then I got text from him a few days ago, got all this anxiety and depression and been that way since. So I know a little bit about what you are going through, but just remember each day gets better. Yes you are going to cry and be hurt and yes it makes it worst if they have found somebody else already..I think we always want to be the first ones to move on. But honestly you will find someone..and it will get better. Its just going to take some time. "

Add Your Reply
Advertisement


More From Around the Web