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Accepting I'm Agnostic?
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Well, here's a post I've always been afraid to make. After 33 years on this spinning rock, living in the Bible belt, I think I have finally come to the conclusion that I'm agnostic. It's not for lack of trying to be a believer. I have read book after book on apologetics, went to church and tried to feel what everyone else seems to, prayed my heart out but to no avail. All I get is crickets, silence. I could never break the news to my sweet parents who are dedicated Christians. I'm torn b/c I don't know what to teach my kids but I also don't want them to end up like me, trying to believe something all my life and then coming to the realization after college that my scientific mind way overpowers my religious one. Most of my anxiety is rooted in my fear of death. I never used to worry about it until I started to think "what if this really is it?" "What if there's nothing else?" For some reason, that terrifies me to the point I have tried to force myself to believe just to keep from being so scared. It's just not working, I think I'm just agnostic. I'm not an Atheist, I just think that no one can really know for sure. I hate feeling so conflicted. I have a couple of friends who have gone through this transition and come out on the other end feeling freed and more motivated and determined to enjoy this life b/c they believe this is all there is. They feel free b/c they no longer believe someone is sitting on a cloud waiting to bring wrath if they don't do everything right. I get that but why can't I feel that way? Why can't I make peace with it? Why does something in me still long for something to believe in? Pretty deep for a Monday, huh? :)
Posted on 05/14/12, 06:52 pm
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Reply #31 - 05/16/12  1:24am
" I have been in a similar place of spiritual limbo. I have been going to a Universalist Unitarian church. It really helps, they are nondenomonational and accept all philosophies, religions and spirtiuality. IT has been a really good group of people for me. "
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Reply #32 - 05/16/12  10:25am
" I am baffled at the Christian view when I ask, "Isn't it possible that Jesus doesn't exist?", they answer, "no" and ONLY faith in that belief is there proof, which is NO PROOF at all.

I believe it, so you should too? Sorry, that isn't how it works.

You have every right to question something that cannot be proven as truth. My parents met in sunday school, and I have MUCH religion on both sides of my family.

Agnosticism: human reason is incapable of providing sufficient rational grounds to justify the belief that deities either do or do not exist

An that is fine in my opinion. A higher power of some kind? I guess I could entertain the thought, but...

As much as any Christian says it isn't possible that Jesus is just a tale, I suggest to you that in every way Jesus very much is just a story from the ages like any of the other gods mentioned over time.

Do you want to know more? Ignore the foreign subtitling, as this is english audio:


Good luck to you. "
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Reply #33 - 05/16/12  10:27am
" Also, the Unitarian concept is interesting. You could find similar folks and views there. Don't know. "
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Reply #34 - 05/16/12  11:20am
" @gleeo8

You have no clue where I have been in my spiritual life. I surrendered my life to 'the Lord' don't even start with me about living in the spirit. I sought "him" with my mind, body and soul. and 'he' was in me. I was living in 'him' just don't tell me what I did and did not feel or that I wasn't doing it right or that I was not really saved, or I was not a true christian. please do not insult me.
If you go to ex-christian.net.
you will read story after story of those who gave their whole lives to God and were living it.

You have no friggin' clue. I suppose you think that you have found the answer. JC is the one, way, truth and the life and all others are wrong.

Everything you have said does not prove a darn thing.

Christian religion is based on FAITH and faith alone. In all what you said. it is still based on faith. You still are basing your decision to accept JC as lord and savior and act of faith.
Faith as small as a mustard seed.....remember that? that is what it takes.
Once the faith and belief are taken away then the story disappears.

And what does going to Jersualem prove anything? JC may have existed. I am not saying he didn't.
I just don't think he was the Son of God or is God or anything else.

You believing it and so that is your FAITH. that's it.
Just because you believe it doesn't make it true.

Jesus Christ is not the only one who allegedly was born of a virgin birth and was crucified. there are many myths and legends of people WAY before JC . virgin births, crucifixions, resurrections.

I am no longer following something that I believe is all in my head
IT"s all in people's HEAD.

I am not saying there is not a god. I don't know if there is one or not but I am not going to follow 'just in case'

Anyway I am done with this thread. IF you all want to believe that is your choice.

I choose not to. I have my reasons. you have yours. "
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Reply #35 - 05/16/12  11:39am
" Glee

You didn't read my post properly.

I didn't say a website had given me peace.

I said that people went to the website for support to share their experiences and most have

"found peace with the decision of leaving religion"

And 2000 yrs of something doesn't make that something real.

The peace I have is coming to the conclusion that I no longer KNOW I do not know and I am not going to be arrogant enough to say that I have the answer and I know.

Know one friggin knows for sure.

They think they know, they believe they know, but doesn't make it real, true or accurate. The spiritual experiences that people have is chemical reaction in the brain. It gives people a 'high' and raises serotonin levels. Music in churches stirs the soul. it's because of the key the music is in. You can play the same music and have different lyrics. the same 'feeling' can be had.

There is no proof and evidence and never will be. The only way we are going to know is when we die.

And I am not going to put faith into someone or some being that may or may not exist. And the bible god is a tyrant and not a nice being by the way. if you read the bible 'he' is a bloodthirsty one that's for sure. oh....right ignore the Old testament and it's all about the new testament...oh wait...isn't he meant to be the same yesterday, today and for always. can't have it both ways. "
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Reply #36 - 05/16/12  11:45am
" and please don't tell me that it's not a religion it's about having a 'relationship' with god.
how many times have I heard that as an explanation to how it's meant to be done. "
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Reply #37 - 05/16/12  5:58pm
" Naturegirl I would argue it takes faith no matter what you believe. Yes evolution is still a theory. I disagree with some things you've said but I don't believe this is the place to start a debate. Suffice to say this thread shouldn't be about bashing one belief system or another, "
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Reply #38 - 05/16/12  8:07pm
" Don't try and argue your case for Christianity.....they won't listen.....and this isn't the place. "
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Reply #39 - 05/16/12  8:34pm
" You are right this is not the right forum. but I am not bashing anyone's beliefs. You can believe in fluffly bunnies from the planet Zar for all I care but I do take umbridge when someone suggests that what I was doing or what someone else was doing was not 'quite the right way' that they were 'missing' something and needed the 'spirit'

No Fear. "they won't listen" who are they? people like me who do not believe or have changed their mind? I do not need the case for Christ to be told to me. I have heard it and I accepted and believe it and lived it with my heart and soul for years. and so no I won't hear or listen because I have heard and listened for years and it doesn't jive with me anymore.

this is how I feel. I am not bashing Christianity or any other religion but please don't tell me that I didn't quite get it right. because no one knows where I or any other ex believer have been.
I get the distinct vibe in DS that IF someone does not believe in God or do not have Christ then they are MISSING something or they feel sorry for those who don't.

just like glee's subtle comments about living in the spirit that it's all about the spirit. yes it is , it was and I lived it. You can't comprehend that someone can actually change their mind, their heart and no longer follow the lord and believe. And what once was as real as the hand in front of your face no longer is. It's not an easy journey to come to the conclusion that none of it is no longer real. I am sure it upsets many people and I have people in my old church praying for me. They can knock themselves out. "
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Reply #40 - 05/16/12  9:10pm
" This whole thing has elevated my anxiety to such a high state and can't rest now.

Why I am getting heated up over this I don't know.

I am really sorry.

This is meant to be a place to help people with anxiety and not increase it.

I will drop the subject. I am sorry I keep chomping on this. I admit I do get obsessive and ocd on certain subjects. religion being one of them.

I am really sorry everyone and didn't mean to create a bad vibe in here or anything.

I said I was going to take a break from DS and I didn't and this is what happens. i get upset and worked up over something that is really a personal issue and something I have to sort out myself and ought not get upset with other people's comments.
i did take something personally and that is my own doing.

I need to not take things personally.

I usually am really supportive and helpful in this group and I don't think I have done anyone any service here by ranting about my own problems in this thread. The subject of religion is one I need to keep clear from because this is what happens. I get upset.

I feel that I am being misunderstood and not many people may get where I am coming from.

anyway. I am sorry if I have caused disharmony in this group. I really do need to take a breather.

I apologize to NoFear


to Dreaming

I am really sorry. "

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