Anxiety Support Group

i think it's better for you to not worry about the next boyfriend, and just focus deeply on youself. i don't think you really are content with the self-hatred, and i see it as being a permanent blocker for the future.
i deal with some similar issues. i have a therapist, and was taking lexapro (though i had to stop)
it hasn't really helped yet, but at least i'm trying to give myself a future.
you should as well. it's only the depression that makes you think living like this is even remotely alright.
fight, okay.

Voodoog is right. It is best to concentrate on just yourself for now before adding in more factors into an already complicated issue. Counseling can help you find out where the self loathing is coming from and change some of that thinking.
personally I think anyone with anxiety or depression has feelings of feeling inadequate and therefore less of a whole person that they should be. Why? well alot of it is learned from what society teaches us. We have so many stigmas on having mental health issues or struggles. It doesnt add up to where we aer suppose to be and when you see advertising of people succeeding and leading a perfect life you forget they are not "real" people. It is an illness you feel you have to hide and therefore it makes you feel bad about who you are.
Instead you should feel good because everyone of us is unique..there is no one exactly like you. Your like a snowflake! And every one is beautiful and has some gift to offer to others. Obviously someone loved you enough to know you were special!
I wonder if because you have not dealt with your feelings, you sabatage your relationships because you do not feel you are worthy of love? Thats what a counselor cann help you with. It doesnt mean you are a bad person, in fact, you are more interesting anhd you have a chance most people do not, a chance to investigate who you trully are and what your potentials are. you have a chance to go on a journey of self discovery to find things you do like about yourself and see what others see in you.
You just have to take it one step at a time, one hour at a time. Not think about tomorrow but just now.
I love how voodoo said fight okay? Because when you do fight and strive to better understand yourself you really learn deep things about who you are. If your world was perfect, you wouldnt learn things ike that. Who learns about themselves when things are doing ok. WE dont. We have to have the hard times to really learn and grow.

Well Fizzle i'm sorry your feeling so bad , but what you could do is make a list of your good qualities for a start and i bet there s tonnes of them , then list your weaknesses so you know what you must improve on . It will be a long process , not years but months . You can do this . The one important thing is look in the mirror daily and say a face to face " i love you " . Whatever your limitations your situation can be improved by right habits , thinking and acting with help. The best is yet to come for you . Credit yourself where credit is due , Stop sabotaging . Next time you do it ,pull yourself up on it . Another tip would be just for today i will not hurt myself and next day say i will help someone less fortunate then me and so on . You are valuable and unique , you may not know it but you are . I look at it like doing a course in college or something . I don t know how to do it but if i learn then i should pass with flying colours or you feel you'l never get the hang of it but we do . Knowledge is the way to go. Try and get your hands on self help book s . There fantastic . If you don t understand it then read it again until it makes sense to you. Also if you keep practising new techniques it wil become second nature to you . I wil be thinking of you . Why not start right now xxx

Fizzle, You are not alone in what you are experiencing. In fact what you write hits home. Some observations from a person in the "same pair of shoes". The fact that concerned of your own situation is a step in the right direction. Many self-haters don't care to identify or change! Being self critical shows me that you are evaluating and looking for improvement.

Try this. take your comments, read them as though it was me. Believe it- it is very much me! Read those words and suggest how you would help me turn things around. If it helps, send me suggestions about my[your] comments and how I can improve.

I agree with the above replys, focus on yourself right now, counseling is a suggestion mentioned that you should pusue.

I am awaiting how you would help me!
Regards, Choochoot

Hey man. I continually struggle with this too. i think you (and me) carry the belief that we are inadequate, wrong, useless, etc... when we obviously are not. I am learning how to analyze my thoughts, and catch myself when my thoughts are putting me down.

One self-conversation might appear like this

THOUGHT: I want to kill myself
RESPONSE:
"is that true?"
"Yes"
"So why don't you?"
"I'm afraid"
"Afraid of what?"
"Death"
"So if you're afraid of death, you must not really want to kill yourself then? Because you want to live."

-This is the truth. Sometimes you have to analyze these things and try and catch yourself where your thinking is "off".

Another example.

THOUGHT: I'm useless
RESPONSE:
"Is that true?"
"No"
"How are you useful?"
"I help the band write great music"
"What else?"
"I take good care of my dog"

Question these thoughts. You'll find that your beliefs often aren't true.

When all else fails, go for a walk, read a book, learn about something new! You can do it.

Hope that helps

Oh yeah, and take it easy on yourself! lol. There's nothing to be gained by constantly beating yourself up. I do that all the time, and its not gotten me anywhere! lol. Oh yeah, do you have any memories that you are really proud of? Something you did that was really bad ass, unique, difficult or impressive? For me, I think about when I was younger and how I always got with older girls... it makes me laugh and cheers me up at the same time.

Another great idea - start a humor journal! Write all the funny $hit that you remember or happens to you, then when you feel down, read it! Laughing helps. This site is great for a laugh/ego boost too: failblog.org

You harbor the belief that you are inadequate, bad, uncool. Challenge it! Find the truth... I believe in you, as I must believe in myself.

Cheers! And p.s. give yourself a pat on the back for caring enough to try and make a difference - you're trying to do something positive, and that itself should be commended.

"how can you love when you dont love yourself" once you find something that you like doing and it makes you feel special you will lose alot of the self hate and someone will see a special person they can relate too. i try not to hate myself because i m all i have and i know im funny and crazy and i have a big heart , take some of the negative things and put the energy into writing or playing guitar or whatever you like doing, channel your energy in a positive way you will feel much better