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Advice:
Fear of being alone
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My biggest fear seems to be being alone, I rarely go anywhere without someone being with me. Driving is the worst, if someone isn't with me I am so scared to drive anywhere. Once in awhile I will drive very short distances alone and when I do I feel like its a major accomplishment. I also hate going in any stores without someone being with me. Does anyone else have this problem, and if so any advice? I'd greatly appreciate it. I'm not afraid of leaving the house, just afraid of leaving alone. Thanks in advance, and I'm so glad I have found this group. Bengalgirl
Posted on 06/23/09, 10:32 am
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Reply #1 - 06/23/09  11:35am
" I can relate. First of all you need to pat yourself on the back for even the short distances that you go alone. That is hard for you and it is a major accomplishment. HELLO!! Think about it. We here know how hard that is.
Practice doing that. Maybe practice going to a store that is close by...by yourself. Practice..with patience. It's okay. It's hard being us. Practice...and give yourself even credit for considering it (even if it doesn't happen). Keep practicing. It's not an all or nothing thing here. Any little step you take is a step. Good job for trying to get help. "
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Reply #2 - 06/23/09  11:45am
" Thank you so much for your encouragement! It means alot to me. "
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Reply #3 - 06/23/09  11:47am
" I had this problem for a long while. I would hate to leave the day treatment program that I'm involved in at the end of each day, and to go home and be alone. Or to be alone in public. I learned to listen to music, and when I'm in public to listen to an MP3 player that I can carry with me, so that I can hear something that would create the atmosphere that I'm not alone, that there's something / someone with me. I know how difficult it can be, but as kbr0632 says in their reply.....practice and patience! And it's hard, but this too, we'll look back on when we overcome it. "
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Reply #4 - 06/24/09  12:31am
" I hate being alone, my husband spends a lot of time at work so I am alone a lot. I find it hard to make friends and also have the same issues with driving as you which only compounds the problem. I use to be out going and could jump in my car and go anywhere now it's just to the local shops and back. I wish I had a magic cure but I think it's just pushing ourselves a little bit at a time to be able to live again. "
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Reply #5 - 06/24/09  10:34pm
" Hi! I have been through what you are going through. The good news is that over time I was able to overcome it. I started slowly and only drove locally and when I had to and only went into smaller stores where I felt semi comfortable. I also started to eat better and exercise. My goal was always to get passed it and I never gave up but I also didn't push myself too hard, just baby steps. Be patient with yourself! "
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Reply #6 - 06/27/09  8:33am
" i know how you feel bengalgirl. i can drive short distances around town but i cant leave town and even drive to the next city. it scares me to death!! I am not able to go into a store by myself yet. i have tried and as soon as i hit the door and walk a few feet in the anxiety starts. i try to ignore it but never seems to work. i worry that people are watching me and think i am some kind of freak or better yet that i will pass out and they will call the squad for me. i could not handle that. i am able to drive myself to my doctors appointments but not without having some anxiety. after getting there and talking with my doctor i do calm down. i am currently off work because of this. i tried going back and as soon as i went back i felt the anxiety once i walked in the door. i did have to stay and work my 8 hour shift but it was the worst. i suffered the whole 8 hours and for the next week with anxiety attacks. my doctor tells me i need to work but why would i want to put myself in a situation that is going to cause me to feel worse? i dont understand that way of thinking. i feel it takes lots of time and patience to get there. you wouldnt tell someone with a back injury to go back to his job where he has to lift all day and it is going to cause them pain. so why would you tell someone with anxiety to do the same? i personally think it is a very slow process and have come to think that some people reach a point that this is it. this is the best it is going to get and i have to learn to except it. just like someone with a physical disablity. they wouldnt push them if they knew it was going to hurt them. i think more people need to education themselves on this disease and be more understanding. i really do try but i have a very streeful job and is hard to go back to. i have had 15 jobs in the last 20 years and never been able to stay at one more than 4 years. I have created a terrible work history for myself. if i were an employer i wouldnt hire me either. i have also been on several meds during this time trying to find one that fits me. while doing this i was pushed in going back to work while doing so and i think made it worse. i suffered from the anxiety attacks and the side effects of the meds. how can a person be expected to perform their job under those conditions? they say it helps to go to work and keep your mind off of things. i dont find much comfort in that since that seems to bring on my anxiety. why not keep me off work till i get the right med and feel much better than trying to put me back out there with just a bandade and be expected to perform. it dont work. some people think i am lazy for not wanting to go back to work. that could not be farter from the truth. i work hard every day around the house. i even mow grass. that dont seem to bother me being outside as long as i am not to far from home. i have a very good job that i am unhappy at because of the stress it has brought to my life. i am considering finding a new job. i dont care if it is mowing grass or picking up garbage. it is a job and i am making money. i dont ask for any hand outs and if i am happy and able to function whats wrong with that? my family thinks i am crazy for giving up a great job to do something like that. i tell them they are not the one that has to feel this way. right now with talking with my counsler i am really looking at things that make me happy in life right now. i am not worried about how others feel or making them happy right now. it may sound cold but if you dont look after yourself who is going to do so. sorry if this was long and i was going on but i tend to do that sometimes. best of luck "
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Reply #7 - 06/28/09  10:37am
" Thank you all so much for your comments and advice, and words of encouragement. It is so good to know that I am not alone in this battle, and that others know how I feel and what I'm going through. From the bottom of my heart I thank you all. Bengalgirl "
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Reply #8 - 09/07/09  8:07am
" I can't believe you have the same feeling I do. Oh, I wish I coud help you and me with this but I had this feeling before and it's the anxiety talking to you as it is to me now. Are yo on a med for long term? Yor NOT crazy. Just keep telling yourself that because I am ot crazy and I feel the same way. If you were crazy, you wouldn't care and you go blissfully along not feeling so bad.
Teddy4 "
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Reply #9 - 10/01/09  2:37am
" I feel the same way you do. Its not fun and no one should have to feel like they cant go places unless if someone goes with them. Taking small steps to get yourself used to driving or going places is important. You should feel empowered when you do drive short distances even if you have trouble doing it. I hate doing things alone but I'm learning the more I do things alone the better it SLOWLY gets. Give yourself credit for the progress your making and dont give up!
Best wishes "

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