Aneurysms Support Group

I am glad to read your post because now I do not feel so alone...Thank-You...
I had a clipping and am about to go in and have a clipping on the other side now.
My emotions have been and still are on 'high'.
Fear, (yes obviously) sadness and depression, ( felt this could be normal) guilt (mine were found before rupture, my first recovery went well considering they had to go in twice-clip slipped and blocked blood flow, I was unresponsive )...
And anger, cripes I am sooo angry about sooo much half the time...(though there is other things on my plate that would make the average person angry, the way I have dealt with the anger and my lack of control seems too embarrassing)...
It seems like a snowball going downhill, just getting bigger and faster and harder to stop.
I recently became so angry i literally snapped and blacked out, I smashed things and screamed and lashed out...Hated everyone and everything and just wanted everything to go away. (considering I am an abuse survivor, this was very out of character for me, 17 years made me submissive and quiet and agreeable, and there I was looking just like my ex-I dont even like thinking about how I acted)
I think the fear switches to anger maybe ( seems easier ).
I am tired of being scared of headaches, vision probs etc, tired of being tired.
Sick of being scared what people think as they stare at my dent on my skull and the scars, (my neck has a 4" scar that looks like my neck was slashed)
Inside I swear to try not to snap the next time I hear "dont worry or be scared, it will all be okay." or " Your lucky they found them" (sorry I know that is insensitive-but geez- I dont feel lucky)...
Im sorry I cant give you advice on how to deal with the anger or keep it in check, as I am not doing good in those departments.
But I can tell you I feel overwhelming emotions also, anger being the biggest maybe.
I think we do have reason to be angry though, our lives have been forever changed and it is hard for some to understand, hard for us too. Things that were once not that important are now at the top of the list (eg. that 'I love you' in the morning cant be skipped)
I recently read "A man never lies on his deathbed wishing he spent more time at the office..."
I think maybe my underlying anger partially pertains to this, I have lain there, and seen what is important and how close the end can be...
I am angry those around me are not on the same page...I am angry I have reached that chapter...
Maybe that is where we can find happiness, we now have the light to see and appreciate the little things, where others dont...
Maybe we are the 'lucky ones'...

My husband had a coil from Brain Aneurysm in June, I have noticed alot of crabbiness and anger since!! I thought it was my imagination...and googled about anuerysms again tonight (about the 100th time) and found this...just had to join and reply!!

Thank you for bringing up the emotional side. My fiance had coiling done a year ago and is now facing clipping on Nov. 10th as the aneuryism came back. (Noone told us this might happen, so really blindsided us.) He's not doing well emotionally, but God is giving me the strength we BOTH need at this time. I've been reading these postings to get educated and ready for whatever comes our way. I'm usually quite sensitive to what people say to me, but after reading this, I won't take his anger personally. Thanks again!

Hi, have not been here for a while. Just want to say to anyone experiencing mixed emotions, tiredness and headaches that things do get better. You have to learn how to relax and only do what you are capable of doing. I know how difficult it is in the early days but things will get better.
For more support from people who have gone through the same things try a site called - behindthegrey.net

I'm an anerysm survivor, mine happened in June 2008 and I spent 27 days in the hospital in ICU. Quite the trial in my opinion. I do have anger because I think I was given medication that I reacted to badly, and I got the massive headache, but my Dr just gave me migraine meds, when I woke up about 10 days later, I had no clue about what had happened and felt very, very strange. No one gave me a mirror, which is good, since if I had been able to see my reflection, I'd been heard screaming everywhere in that hospital. The thing I get so upset about is that my entire body strength is gone, not like before, but I try to deal with it by exercising my stress & anger out, til I'm exhausted, which at first was extemely painful, and more anger came out, so I just keep working it out. Will be seeing my Dr of Neurology soon for my 2nd yr of survival appt.. I hope you are able to deal with whatever you need to, it's important to you and those who are caring for you also. Just recognize the situation and deal with it best as you can. I do! And be thankful that you have others doing thier best for you too, I am. I also feel much more love for all others that are in my life, telling them on a daily basis that I love them and just giving hugs to them at all times that I can.

Ellie

Anger and snappishness are normal. They diminish with time. My clipping was in 1988 at the age of 27. i couldn't understand why people around me didn't understand. But they can't. 22 years later I remember my frustration and the stress level. You'll be OK.