Amnesia Support Group

I am a young woman in my 20's and I have Dissociative Identity Disorder. I have had to deal with lost periods of time, minutes, hours, days, years, for my entire life. None of this is new.

I have also been hospitalized and comatose a couple of times having to deal with the amnesia caused by the accident. It was never severe. I always seemed to be back to normal within a couple of weeks.

My Fiance has a heart condition. He's had it since he was young. He was recently diagnosed with lung cancer as well. He's only 30. I am very scared for him. He has a chance of beating it, but might not have much time left.

He had a heart attack from stress just 3 days ago. It was the same day he took a week off work so because we planned a romatic getaway to celebrate the engagement he just recently proposed. The morning he was supposed to come pick me up, he had the attack, was found by a friend and taken to the hospital.

He was in a coma for 2 and a half days. He was in and out of it for the rest. Right now he is fully awake.

He remembers nothing. He doesn't remember his name. He did not remember his mother. He doesn't remember me, his best friend, himself, nothing.

The doctors were not helpful to me, just talking to his mother because I am not technically his family yet.

He has been trying extremely hard to remember and concequently become incredibly angry and upset. He had to be sedated a couple of times. He was very violent. Very upset. Yelling at them to "Put it back", his memory.

He remembered 1 line from his favourite song though he doesn't remember the song or what he was saying. He said it as a question like "that quote, what does it mean?"

I am familiar with how to handle amnesia having it myself. But I only know what to do for myself. I have no idea how to help him.

His memory loss was caused by lack of blood to the brain. So the damage is very severe.

I did some research and I have read that he is most likely to remember the long term memories, like the distant past, not these past few years. Which could be a blessing and a curse if it happens.

You see, I have only known him for just over a year. So I am less likely to be remembered right? I love this man, I cannot lose him and if I have to start our relationship from scratch I will.

I have not seen or spoken to him yet. I am trying to give him time to settle. When he does I will.

My question is: What can I do to help him? What is the best approach to take to re-introducing yourself? What shouldn't I say/do? I know I shouldn't kiss him, hug him, pat him on the back, since I am still a stranger to him. I just don't know what to say.

So please, I ask, any of you who have had themselves or a loved one in this situation, what did you do? What should I do?

How should I go about it and what do I say?

Please help me. This is tearing me apart.
Posted on 04/25/09, 10:04 pm