Alzheimer's Disease Support Group

You are not alone. Every caregiver to an Alzheimer's loved one knows what you are saying. We have all been there... and still are.
It is sad, sad, sad when you finally acknowledge the person you love is no longer in that body. It is like they have died, but are still sitting on the couch.
It is grief - just as you would feel at a death, only It is the long good-bye.
I cried for hours when this realization came to me. I have not cried since.
Just be a kind as possible to your mother and pray for the strength to make it through the day.
Every morning I ask for the strength to get through one more day.

Please say what ever you are feeling - this is a good place to share.

Yes, we have all experienced what you are experiencing, down to the lack of family support. With this disease you will definitely find out who your friends are, people you would expect to care just don't. To me that is the hardest, accepting that a family member will not help, but I am getting better at accepting it.

It does help me tremendously to be able to write about my feeling and experiences with people who are walking the same path so please feel welcome to join us here and say what is on your mind. We talk about anything and everything.

Welcome Dear,
No, you are not alone. We are here and we do understand the feelings you are having. It is so hard to reverse the roles with your Mom. I've had to do it and it is one of the hardest things I've ever done. Also, it's a double whammy when your Mom is your best friend. Many on here are in this situation with their husbands, which has to be the most difficult of all. My dad had AD really bad, but Mom's is mild dementia or so they say. Whatever it is, it's sad. Please come and talk to us when you need to. Hugs & Prayers, Joy

Let me add that when they lose the ability to communicate with you
it is really a blow.
My husband lost his words early on... all of a sudden he was only using 20 or 30 words, then 15, then 10 and now 3 or 4. He used to point to things he wanted, or wanted to do.. now he does not even do that. Today he has only said "yes" 3 or 4 times. Mostly he just smiles.
So - if your mom has moments where she understands you and can talk back - Please say all the things you might want to say forever and have her tell you things as well.

Hi, I am a caregiver spouse. I will be glad to be your friend. Maybe we can cry on each other's shoulders. It is tough. I had a husband, now I have a little boy/ husband. The roles switch back and forth. We are in what I would call the late early stages. There are good times to be had, but I am ruining today with worries about tomorrow. Let's help each other.

I totally understand what you are going tthrough... My Dad has middle to late alzhiemers...... He was jsut diagnosed 2 weeks ago...... However I have known for awhile that things were going this way.... The Dr. at the hospital said it is time to place my Dad in assisted living..... I said no way... We will make it work..... So I go and stay with him.......... The really sad thing is my sisters..... Just like your siblings, cannot be bothered.......
You can write me at Palyn215@hotmail.com

Hi, you are in the right place....we all know and share your sadness and frustrations and even the anger that comes at times when we feel over whelmed or just can't live deal with the unfairness of all we're losing.
I have a husband with AD, in the middle to late stages of the disease, sometimes it's so hard to tell just where he is but then at others I think it really doesn't matter. He is my huband and we did vow for better or worse. I do wish we had more family around, only one of our kids lives near us and even she doesn't really understand the extent of his illness...She has recently moved back home to our property and mentioned last night that she hadn't really understood how bad her dad was getting until spending more time with him...At least now I do have some help and company when the kids aren't working.

Today i am having a horrible day, it has nothing to do with AD and then i think about it an it has everything to do with it... I was in your shoes a couple of months ago and a couple of years ago i cried when my mom was loosing herself... i cried because she did nto want to admit that she had a problem and i would cry to her to go see the dr because i didnt want her to forget me... she told me she didnt care... i remember that morning so well.... well my mom lived for 7 more years with AD and this may she lost her battle... today i'm having a horrible day at work with insignificant problems and people but it goes back to her because i wish she was here so i could cry on her shoulder... Ladies i know you are going thru some difficult times but right now i wish i was in your shoes, just to sit ther and tell her my troubles even though i wouldnt know if she knew what i was talking about... just to touch her and smell her... and get that smile from her telling me i would be alright... whether its ur spouse or your mom, your dad, just hold them for a moment and forget everything... and just live for the moment... i never thought the struggles would end with her.. she was going to live forever and it was going to be a burden for us all... we were tired, exhausted i must say... but i guess i always thought she'd be there... even that last week i thought, she'll get better we'll take her home and in 3 months we'll be back again at the hospital... but it didnt work out that way... after she died i found this website and i am so happy to have found it, it has helped me tremendously because yes i know i was not alone or am not alone with my feelings... talking about my mother has helped me accept her death and her illness... so tday JAG49 hug your mom and smell her and feel her and do that everyday until u no longer need to be next to her to know she's with u... ur not alone u have many friends in here that know exactly how u are feeling and if u need to cry and scream, then cry and scream... let it out... there will be many questions, we're here to help... we might not have all the answers but together we can search for them.... and just try ur best, in the end thats all we can do... take care, Veronica

I do know how you feel. My husband, age 65, has Alzheimer's. My children think that he is going to be a miracle and it is going to go away. They don't want to discuss it. I need someone to talk to. Sometimes I feel very angry and then I feel guilty. I really don't know what to expect.

Welcome, Dibbie. Please feel free to say, ask anything here. This is a great board for help and understanding... and a laugh now and then. Please post often.