Alzheimer's Disease Support Group

Oh well, no replies. The decision has been made to put mom in a nursing home. Now what to do to keep my 91 year old father healthy. I am so drained. I know everyone who goes through this is. I am trying to do this as the only child and with leukemia myself.

There are a lot of things to try to organize before a NH move is made, but proper care for you Mother and respite for your family is very important. Laws on use of Medicaid and other resources vary state to state in some cases. I would recommend first talking to a social worker (possibly one her doctor can recommend).

Most counties have Elder Care advisors and assistance to help through this tough time. A family attorney can be of great help and a financial planner or advisor could assist also.

Find the right nursing home is so critical if possilbe. Close to home, good care, clean, respectful caregivers.

There is a lot of information available on line to help guide through this and I wish I knew so much more before I had to make this change for my Father.

I did get some very quick and helpful advice from "A Place for Mom". If you search online, they might have someone close that can at least help with recommendations.

Good luck with this, be ready for a little stress at first with the move, but things should settle with time. It's hard, but you may be amazed at how much more "quality" time and love you can provide with some care assistance.

Keep up posted. BIG hugs to you honey.

Thank you , everyone, for your comments. This is harder then I thought. Even though it is mom who needs a nursing home I think I am hurting more for dad. I can bet the physical and emotioal drain is not over. Dad is so drained at this point that he will need to come to my home for awhile to get some rest and have to worry about cooking etc. Thanks again., Marcia

atatat, there has not been a post here in quite awhile. I just joined this forum today and read your posts. Do you have an update on how your mom and dad are doing?

Being a caregiver is one of the most difficult jobs in the world! There are other alternatives to a nursing home. If you haven't already explored an Alzheimers unit for your mom, I would strongly suggest that you do this. The staff at these care facilities are specially trained to deal with the challenges that a victim of Alzheimer's face.

Is your father a veteran? If so they may qualify for some $ assistance to help pay for her care.

I hope you all are doing well. There are people who really do care!

In my state you use your own resources until you are nearly broke.
You can keep your home, one car, $2000 in cash and that's it !

Then you can get Medicaid for that person or a spouse. So when the time comes I will be pre-paying our funeral services, do everything the house will need for 20 years, get a new car etc.

Then - I've heard there is a recovery plan that will come after my house after I die... so my kids will get nothing. Pitiful.

Sorry - I got trigger happy.

Contact your DHS for the rules in your area.

Good luck. This is reallly hard.

Prayers and Blessing flowing your way.