Alzheimer's Disease Support Group

This is one of the hardest parts of dealing with the AD.
As long as what they want to do is not going to hurt them it is much easier on everyone to let them continue to do things how they want to but I would share your worry about her hurting herself or getting lost again. The fact that she has not gone outside on her own since she did get lost would ba something of a blessing to me if I were in your shoes.
Why do you think your step dad is not really seeing the problem? In most cases I've known that has been because the spouse really cannot face the truth of what the AD will do, they are in denial which seems to hit many family members and cause much more pain and trouble for those who are trying to deal with reality.
You said your the only daughter but do you have brothers and perhaps sisters in law? If so how are they treating the issue of your mothers alzhiemers and are they trying to help or in denial like your step father? I know in many families it is the daughter who seems to get stuck with all the responsiblity and worry but do not count brothers out until they show they won't help. Some of the most careing people I've met in my support group have been husbands and sons and inspite of the pain it causes them they all say they have been blessed by the experience.

I completely understand about the being stubborn part. My MIL is the same way. She insists she can take care of herself, she doesn't need us. She lives alone, my FIL died 16 years ago. We're fortunate that she doesn't cook but then again, she only weighs 78 pounds. She cannot handle her checking book. The bank called my husband today and told him that in the past two weeks she has ordered 600 checks because she can't find them. She wears a leather coat year-round, winter or summer, it doesn't matter. She has a 'friend' that lives around the corner and when I said to him she acts the way she does (stubborn) because of AD, he told me "You're wrong. She's never been diagnosed with that! Now, was it denial or not knowing? I don't know how he doesn't know it. He's around her everyday. I think it's denial.
So I understand the frustration of it all.

My parents are very elderly, and my Dad has AD. He knows he has Alzheimer's but I don't think he really knows what it means other than he can't remember anything. My Mother knows he has AD and really wants nothing to do with it. I tried to get them to move in with me a few years ago, but they keep refusing because they want to stay in their own home. I stop by their house to take care of the financial things like the check book, taxes, etc. I am lucky in that I do have a sister who helps out too... But I would agree with GeorgiaW and try to get your brothers to help.

It is so hard when they get lost...I know what you mean abouty getting the county involved - the local police are starting to know me a little too well.

A couple of ideas for tracking them though...My Dad still drives (I wish we could stop him)...I have a cell phone in the glove compartment of his car which has a GPS chip in it. My cell phone has tracking software on it so that I can track his cell phone.

Also, they have a Lo-Jack type device for people so you can track them. Its a device they wear on their wrist or ankle, and you can track them. However this only works if your local police participate in a Lo-Jack program.

Other than the tracking suggestions, I'm afraid I don't have any other ideas for coping with this terrible disease. It is heartbreaking.

Hugs and prayers to you!

I cannot imagine how you must feel...to have no control over your Mom's well being. I got tickled when you said, "She always manages to dig up something." :-) That's the kind of thing that you have to hold on to for the days when you're upset over something that is more serious.
Why are you afraid that she is going to hurt herself? Does your step father refuse to have anyone stay w/ her-- therefore she is alone? If he won't listen to reason...this may sound harsh...I would consider calling Adult Protective Services. To me, it's like leaving a small child or toddler (depending on where they are in the disease) alone. My family knows that I would have done something like that right before we decided never to leave Mom alone again. When it was time for her to give up the car ...and my sister and father refused to react sanely... I called the sherriff detachment and gave them her license number. My sister didn't like it...oh well. (It actually resolved itself a few days later because Mom told her psychiatrist that she didn't want to drive anymore). I was hit by a lady with Alzh before Xmas ('08). I thought, "Too bad her family didn't have the guts to take her keys or to call the police." She could have killed me.
Hang in there.
Queenie

Maybe you and your stepdad could go along with our mom to one of her doctor's appointments and get the doctor to have a talk with him. He is in denial about her condition. I was this way about my Dad. It was so much easier for me to think it was normal aging or his sugar too high or low than to admit it was AD.

As someone else said, they are like little children and need much supervision as the disease progresses. My best to you! Millie

OH MY.
My mom who died of AD was also stubborn. No one would tell her what to do. She never wanted to bathe and if you asked her to, she would get sooooooo mad.. she would always say, "i just took a shower, why don't you bathe"? Listen my friend reverse pshicology is the best for people with AD. I was the only one of all my sisters that was able to put my mom in the shower... KEEP IN MIND that my mom used to love to shower at least 3 times a day before AD. For example i would get there and say something like "oh my god mom you are all stained from the back". while walking her into the bathroom. and that would do it! She would say something like " i dont know where i got stained, and i would proceed into taking her clothes off and bathing her.. and everytime i would bathe her she would repeat the same story... EVERYTIME.. I MISS THAT..ALOT! I strongly suggest that u have a talk with your stepdad and start making changes. My mom never wondered off. Thank God she was paranoid of leaving the house. My mom would not sleep all night and would want to be in the bathroom all night and day long. She always said she had to go.. but there were times she would not even sit..or know where the comote was. Sometimes she would get lost in the restroom. Other times she did not know where it was.. even though she had just gone 20 times. Your mom makes me nervouse becuz of her wondering. Please try to get help ASAP. Please let me know if i can help. Even if it is just to talk.

There is a shoe that has a GPS in it for AD patients. Also you can have one put in a ring or bracelet or anything that she wears all the time. It is very sad to watch this progression. I prepaid for cremation last week. I wish for her it would end. I wish for me that someone would appear to take me to visit her.only two of us go and I feel badly that I have stopped. Hope the gps shoe idea is helpfull.

Oh i forgot, she isnt being stubborn. i think of ML as a baby. Nothing she does is intentional i have seen her MRI's there is nothing there. How she functions at all is a miricale.(sp)

Hi everyone thanks for the replies. First of all I am my moms only child. I have a cousin(she works two jobs, not helpful, and a step sister nearby(also not helpful). I am the one who takes my mom to most of her appts. Though I did have my stepfather take her for the second neuro visit and the doctor ordered VNS, surprisingly he agreed with it. The nurse comes out tomorrow. I think he is realizing that it is what it is. He admitted to me it is becoming too much. My mom has a bracelet on that is like a GPS tracking device since she went missing last year for a day and a half. She also goes to a day program for the elderly and those with alzheimers. My mom is getting worse. I can see it and now she is starting to get angry. I know it is tough when your mind is going.

Heat is worry for me. Mom can heat stroke fast. In hosptal, shes tied to bed or walks out of building.

Do you ever worry about this?

I injured back years ago. Trapped in wheelchair now. Also have CD which slows healing. Makes it hard to care for mom. Will need home once mom refuses to listen to me. Make me sad.