Alzheimer's Disease Support Group

I can imagine that my husband would be resistant, too. Do the people at the center have any ideas for you? Can someone go with him at first? Maybe if he started going and got to be familiar with the place he might get used to it.

I had my husband going to a group activity thing a couple of times a week and he liked it at first but then had some medical problems and wasn't able to go for a month or so then he just didn't want to go. He would if I forced him but he didn't join in the activities like he had before and was bored and always anxious to come back home again.
Same thing with the adult day care at the Senior center where our daughter manages the kitchen. I thought he'd like going there because he'd be able to see her once in awhile but he won't have anything to do wiht it. He is much younger then the others, he has early onset and is only 56 now but the main problem is he just doesn't want to do anything.
He will say he is bored and there is nothing to do but you can think of a huge list of things he could do on his own or to help me as I work and he just shakes his head and says none of it sounds like fun or is interesting. I'm just glad that most of the time he still likes to watch a movie (and would television if we got reception).
Maybe your mom can just take him a few times and sit in, ask ahead of time to make sure that can be done, and see if anything going on interests him, it just might not. I do hope your mom is getting some kind of respite help or family help so she can get out away from him at least once a week, more if possible. You have no idea how draining it can be to be the only care giver even when the care is still easy and they can do things like dress and feed themselves. They become your world and your focus keeps shrinking as their world shrinks.

"They become your world and your focus keeps shrinking as their world shrinks. "

I was thinking about your statement, Georgia, last night. Right now my adult children still live with us (25, 20, 18) and our 4 year old grandson while they are in college. Many people have commented to me about how it must be difficult to still have the kids around AND deal with my husband but my answer is, No. I am grateful to have this house full of people, sometimes they help simply by being here. I can have intelligent conversations with them, I can focus on their little problems so that I am not always focused on my husband, my grandson forces me to get out of the house with his needs.

If he as any interests that can be used as a tool for him to think he is helping that works quite well. My husband is" teaching golf" at Day Care. I took them a couple of old putters & some practice balls and they laid out a pathway with duct tape on the floor. They all take turns lagging the ball to a circle they made at the end of the pathway. The staff is great and they all tell him how helpful he is. They need to feel useful even though they can't do much.

If you could just get him in the door once it would be beneficial to him and you guys to get a break. My mom goes and it started out as 2 days a week now it is 5 days a week. She really needs it because things have gotten tough now and she just picks all day at things aorund the house. At least there at the day program they habe planned activities for the group.

Deborah,
I can imagine having people in the house would really help (most of the time) keep your horizons expanded as you interact with what is going on in their lives, and YES being able to have an intelligent conversation with others is such a blessing. We have nine kids, several grandkids but only the one daughter lives in the same state as us and we are in a rather rural area so it is very seldom I actualy talk to "real" people. Most of my interaction is through the computer and thank god for that.

reply #5,
My husband has always been a bit passive/aggressive. If he really didn't want to do something he just wouldn't and then would always "forget" he was supposed to do it. Now that he has AD he is even more resistant to doing things he doesn't want to, like going to adult day care.
At this point in time he can still articulate (most of the time) what he wants to do or more likelly what he doesn't want to do and I dont want to force him to do things he's very opposed to even if it would give me some free time. For the most part he is so easy going and I don't want to set up any activity that might change that.

I enrolled my hubby in a day care program run by the Area Agency on Aging a month ago and he seems to like it.

I don't tell him where we're going, just to get his shoes on and we are going somewhere. If he asks where we're going, I just say I don't know.

When we get there, he gets out of the car and we go inside and before I can sign him in, he is off to talk to others and doesn't even know I'm leaving him. He seems to get along well with others there. If he enjoys people, he will have a good time.