What is Alcoholism
Alcoholism is a powerful craving for alcohol which often results in the compulsive consumption of alcohol, an addiction. The cause of this craving is heavily debated, but the most ...
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GOD
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I believe in God. My faith has never faltered through all of the messiness my life has seemed. At the worst points in my life, I could not pray because I didn't feel worthy. I could only "look" at God and rock myself to sleep. During better periods of my life, I have gone to church every Sunday. My prayer is always something along the lines of "Give me the strength to withstand and the wisdom to see beyond." I pray for inspiration, hope, and clarity. As a child, all I prayed for was that my parents died happy. My dad died a miserable death and was depressed and withdrawn to the end. He never stopped drinking. He was Franciscan monk prior to leaving the vocation to have a family and he never gave up his vows of poverty and never turned his back on God.
I have spent my life tempting fate. My subconscious aim is self destruction. I can't forgive myself for the life I have led and, therefore, cannot sincerely ask God for forgiveness. There have been moments where I was blessed with Grace, fleeting glimpses of surrender. During these times, I asked God for mercy. I asked God for help that he would release me from my addiction for a moment so that I could gather my strength and senses. I made promises. It was beautiful, a miracle! God took my cravings away for a day. Do you know what I did without the craving, without the urge? I deliberately forgot my plea and willfully chose to drink or get high anyway. Then I skipped mass that very Sunday. ...This miracle has been given to me on several occasions after which I never failed to deny it. I am in a place now, I cannot ask forgiveness until I forgive myself. I cannot ask for miracles if I am going to subsequently ignore them. I have flipped God the bird so many times, how in hell can I continue to ask for His grace? Tell me this. I can't ask for help anymore. I used up those tokens a long time ago. Now it is up to me to do some work for myself, and in time, a long time, maybe I will feel worthy again. I cannot pray for myself now. Even praying for those I love is difficult. I can only look at God and hope for undeserved mercy. That was for you, ABeliever. What say you? Posted on 11/07/09, 10:11 am |
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If 1 specific religion is going to be touted...Pls take to PMs 
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Which religion did I just "tout"? Quit being an ass and let me have a discussion. Replace God with HP if you must, but don't insult my intentions. You missed the point mindlight. Fuck off why don't you. What have you positive to say?
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Quit being so touchy....god gawd I knew the post will grow...did I accuse you of anything? well now I will I feel you were rude to me.
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I think it is valid to discuss God and spirituality on a chat board for alcoholism. There is a idea that to get sober -there needs a profound spiritual shift in ones psyche. This is a Jungian idea-and I think it is awesome. I think we looked for spirituality through our "spirits" of booze...and found it was a false road in the end. Until we see that road is false-at the pit of our soul, I feel like we will keep going back and trying to find salvation through the bottle.
God loves a drunk, although he's a fool...... Carry on with this grand discussion fellow drunks, sober and otherwise.....
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And no I didn't miss the point....
I have done the steps, I feel the answer is found in that practice. Go Pray
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Really, please take this to the PM. You directed this at a specific person and that is simply why the request. This God stuff is very personal.
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hahahahahahaha
You told me to F-off? I bothered you that much? You think I matter? wow
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And you specifically mentioned "Mass"
I often connect the dots....yours are getting easier.But no no I won't insult you.... it would feel sooo good though....nope your too hot for me
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Would it help if we referred to GOd and Higher Power...then we can talk?
Mindlight needs to go and relax.......leave it be. sheeesh
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Oh like my first post said?
Yes....I do agree...I will take a break Peace and quality sobriety to all
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