What is Alcoholism
Alcoholism is a powerful craving for alcohol which often results in the compulsive consumption of alcohol, an addiction. The cause of this craving is heavily debated, but the most ...
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i don't know what to think. I don't know what i am supposed to be doing. I just know i can't drink. I don't have anything inspiring to say. I don't have any happy me thoughts to share. i go to meetings and feel like i am wearing people repellent. i need to get my head out of my ass and stop feeling sorry for myself. the past is history. why am i so stuck on it? i need to stop dwelling on things i cant change. i always hit this wall. maybe i have just been going in the wrong direction and god is trying to tell me something. maybe i need a different approach or a different attitude. maybe this is my problem my whole life. wrong attitude.
what if i focus on forgetting my past? what if i look forward instead? i will try awhile to just let it go and live my life today and tomorrow. just dont drink. problem solved. sorry. needed to spew. ...sober day 24. Posted on 11/04/09, 08:11 pm |
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You're doing great, now just breath and relax and live right now. We don't know what we don't know and it is okay. Sounds like you're ready for a change so relax and let it happen. 
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I heard a statement on the radio today that helped me so much. My mind was previously consumed, as I have someone quite ill in my life and am scared. They said something to the effect of "don't worry never robs us of tommorows sorrows, it just saps the joys of today." I think it is so true.
DOn't worry about your future-your past is gone and screwed up in your mind-let it go. Now is what we have, right now. And you are fine, 24 days, slow and steady.....You are being flooded with emotions, that is ok. You are an emotional person, and now doubly so as you are sobering up and really looking at yourself. Lets keep moving forward-be brave.
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sorry I meant (looked this up, Leo Buscalia)
"Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.” nice, huh?
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The major thing that helped me to stop focusing on the past and worrying about the future and instead to live in the day was the 12 steps and starting a spiritual way of life.
Have you got a sponsor? If you can get someone who can start taking you through the steps, it will change your life more than you can possibly imagine. I was totally caught up in the past and the future and by doing inventory and looking back with the aim of moving forward I was able to let go of a lot, work on the things I couldnt let go of and move towards freedom. Carrying our past around with us is a huge weight and the feeling when it is lifted is amazing.
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I conquer with Nicky180....I had been trying, in and out of AA for about 10 months...until I did what she is suggesting it didn't work. It is working now for the first time since I tried to stop in September of 2007! I have never been so grateful.
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Yep! Agreein with Nicky too....the relief is amazing olive. :)
I was all over the place & thought I was gonna snap, just when I thought I couldn't take it anymore...things got better. I too finally did what everyone was telling me to do and it made the difference, a HUGE one in my mental state. Give it a shot, it's worth it. Hang on love! :)
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Just be you Anna...you are a bright and energitic young woman with lots of life to live. You are scared about what lies ahead and petrified it will be made of the same of your past. It won't, I promise. Your life is changing everyday. Open your heart and trust that goodness will flow through it. Smile at the meetings, say hi to others, know that if they are looking not interested it is about their life and not about you. Ask Them questions, it will help both you and them. Just like when we IM, both of us get stronger from the interchange, no matter whom is hurting more at that time.
Trust that you can make a difference. xxooxx alice
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Every day can't be a sunny one--sorry you're not feeling so spiffy. In early recovery when the the fog begins to slowly lift we find that the world has continued to turn and all of our issues are still present and accounted for--most of the time they're worse. When I feel like you're describing, I ask my HP for direction, and for the willingness to actually go in that direction. I admit that I need help and ask for the good sense to accept it when it's offered and finally I try to accept all the things I can't change or control--which is pretty much everything except for my own behavior. You're doing great girl, just keep plodding along.
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