Alcoholism Support Group

we gotta let it go rummy. admit it & let it go. Shit aint easy, but its what we gotta do.

I know the feeling.

Sorry you're down, man. Not a good feeling.

Have you considered that maybe YOU can't fix it? I couldn't. Lord knows I tried.

Have ever seen Toy Story...sometimes I feel like we are those toys that were broken by "Sid", and that though we're not shiny and new anymore, we're even a little damaged.We help pull each other together as best we can, and we can function again..

RR, I imagine if you could fix yourself you would have done so long before now. I've not been on this forum long, but it's already getting painful to see you continue to try to fix something that's broken using something that's broken.

try the same thing for more years to come if you choose, but that strikes me as tedious and a poor choice to make for yourself.

how much of a big deal is it to admit trying to stay sober your way is pretty worthless? Is it worth dying to prove to those who care about you that you were terminally stubborn and so obviously wrong?

that's a hell of a way to be remembered. as a fool who couldn't see the reality of his life.

To cabledude... how do you know that Rumrunner's way of staying sober is worthless? I think that feeling broken is pretty normal for someone trying to deal with addiction. I've felt that way many a time. Anyway, I just try to remind myself that those feelings can come and go. What helps me is to just let myself feel the way I do and to not resist the feeling. Then I realize that feeling down or upset or depressed or irritated won't kill me and it will all pass (sorry, sometimes a cliche like that is more elegant than anything else I can come up with).

Rummy, I felt so broken in the end...so lost, like I was DONE. Are you at that point? Do you feel really broken? Just lost, in pieces? It was at the end of this rope that I broke through and found salvation. Hang on rummy. If you are there, then their is beauty and wholeness right around the corner. Just don't give up.

Brokeness is the open door to recovery. It is okay to be broken, but it is not O.K. to stay there. We have to make a decision to stop the madness and stop living viral. We must not harden our hearts -- being obstinate to the call of sobriety means certain only one thing, I'll be drunk.

Not willing to walk that direction, today.

I am surrendered, what about you my friend?

I'm with ya cabledude,

when alcohol stopped working for me, I had to find something outside of myself that would work. In and of myself, I could not stop my own destruction.

I was broken when I sobered up. I could not fix me with my broken mind. I had to have help from others who had been broken too but found the way to mend. Believe me rummy, it took a village for me.

Now, you're talking

nondrinker...the best clue we are on a good path is that we can remain comfortably sober. RR doesn't appear to be able to stay sober or judging by his posts, able to feel very comfortable. he appears to be getting drunk a lot and when he puts a few days together his emotions are hanging by the most slender of threads.

good that you believe he's doing fine, and wanted to address this point with me. I'm curious too...in what manner does his way appear to you to be working?

please explain.

rummy, having the Gift of Desperation can be the best thing that ever happened to you. It certainly was the case for me. I was flat on my arse when I got into AA, and that was, 100% the best place for me to be. I no longer had the "outer" accoutrements of life, or props to tell myself I had my shit together, when in reality I hadn't had my shit together ever - just surface stuff.

Another way to look at it is that we need to be"deconstructed" to be "reconstructed" into something totally new. As we say in AA, this isn't about dusting off our Old Life - it is about a toally new life -a totally different paradigm.

But, as others have said, for the Gift of Deperation to really be a gift, we have to take radical action on our own behalves and for me that was getting in the doors of AA, realising and admitting to myself that Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol and our lives were unmanageable. And note the Third Tradition that states: The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.

Give it a go. And just keep coming back no matter what.