Alcoholism Support Group

Five years ago today I picked up my last (by no means my first) desire chip. By the Grace of my Higher Power, along with the Fellowship of AA, working ALL the 12 Steps, in order, to the best of my ability with the guidance of a sponsor, I have not found it necessary to pick up a drink since that fateful day.

My life is blessed today. I am no longer obsessed with King Alcohol.

After 14 years of being in and out of AA and repeatedly doing the "3-Step Waltz" (Step 1, Step 2, Step 3, sit on my ass, relaspe), I surrendered.
I got drunk on July 3, 2004, and after nearly driving over the mailbox as I pulled into the driveway, I confused to my husband (also in AA) that I had been drinking on the sly for about 6 weeks. He though I had been sober since December of 2002. My husband said that I still had time to make a meeting that afternoon. That really pissed me off, and after screaming "F you, F you", I stormed to the house, fixed myself another drink, hid my bottle of vodka so he wouldn't pour it out, and passed out in bed.

The next day I had a hangover from hell. My husband and a couple of wonderful friends from AA strongly requested (demanded?) my presence at an AA meeting later that day. I acquiesced, and at the end of the meeting, I made the very humbling walk to the podium to pick up a Desire Chip from the very sponsor I had previously fired because I didn't think she knew what the hell she was talking about.

The next couple of day I was scared shitless. I was afraid I was never going to be able to get this AA/sobriety thing - I had failed so many times before. Was I destined to spend the rest of my life as a drunk? I was then granted the gift of desperation. I became willing to do WHATEVER was asked of me in order to get and stay sober, even if it meant directing traffic butt-naked at the center of town at noon. Fortunately, that wasn't required.

I found a sponsor who "had what I wanted" and worked the Steps as set forth in the Big Book. I found a new way of life.

I now have to great pleasure of sponsoring two woman and sharing with them the gift of sobreity that was freely given to me.

Life is really good, and I am eternally grateful to the AA and its members for this wonderful life. Thank you to all of you.

Michele M.
07/04/04
Posted on 07/04/09, 01:07 pm