Alcoholism Support Group

Well, just left the ER...nothing broken and I'm just bruised and swollen looking at about two weeks of wearing a face of shame. Tough part is I work in a very professional enviroment, where I cannot tell them the truth for fear of loosing my first big business deal. Thank you all for your input and advice. I feel like this is the only place that I can be completely honest. Please keep the advice coming and the prayers going I can definitely use all I can get.

Holy. Crap. Is this enough? You wrote us from the ER....sheez I went to rehab the last time I left the ER. What are you going to do now? I will send my prayers but Danny, you gotta do the work to get out of this hell hole.

Uh huh, last time I was in ER (memorial weekend) I found myself on deaths door, not just beat up. Even gasping for my last damn breath, I lied about drinking.....how pathetic. Two days later, I drove drunk to what I thought was an AA meeting, showed up and nobody there, no meeting.....I drove my drunk dumb ass to the hospital and asked them for the nearest AA meeting.....they got on the phone and found me a damn meeting. Nuff said.

Laptops in the ER - well that's a luxury - sorry to hear you are in the ER and I find it amazing that you have that much head trauma and are able to either sit up or be bedridden with a laptop - I hope this too is a truthful statement as it doesn't fit a scenario picture.

You indicated that you lied to the doctor about being an acoholic, do you honestly thing that the doctor couldn't smell the booze oozing from your pores and with type of "trauma" I am sure blood test are run and the results will come back with an alcohol level in them.

Fear is destructive and your fears are going to keep you on a destructive path - do you honestly think that your co-workers, employers and professional circle don't realize you have a problem with alcohol? You arent' the only one - this isn't a quite hidden disease it's very well know. Do you want to be respected for pretending to be a social drinker who had one too many or do you want to be respected for your truth and honesty, I understand in the business world, lies, deceit and back stabbing is common, but it hopeful to know that maybe SOMEBODY out there, in the business world, has principles and stands for what they beleive in they are stronger than being a follower, they are a leader of themselves and because of their strength they can wheel and deal in the world of the hell known as big business and manipulations and you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours, type of wheeling and dealing.

Sadly what I see is you are having a hard time being honest with yourself and everyone around you - and without the honest sobriety will be a hard path to walk. you may want to make a list of your fears when it comes to be honest - are those fears worth your health and possibly your life? What do you receive that is so beneficial from falcicies - falicies will destroy your life all the way around of course the drinking helps mask the pain -

I do pray that you want the help you cry out for, i do hope you find it inside of you to be as strong inside as you can be outside, i hope that find the peace to lose your fear and gain strength through honesty, which is not easy. I hope that you can get on your knees and beg God for forgiveness adn to be in your heart and to walk with you on the journey of sobriety. It's not an easy road, but it is a justifying and rewarding road.

When you learn to become valuable to yourself and enjoy the rewards to yourself of sobriety and not be as concerned with others think, you may find peace in a new path of life.

i apologize if I offended you or any other reader in anyway - i don't mean to be cruel - most people know i am not a sugar coater - been down the road myself and for some sugar coating and hand holding is a solutions,for others like myself, hardcore reality slaps and hard core words work betters, that's one thing I really like about this room, some are kind, gentle and hand holders and others are in your face sorta people - takes all kinds to make the world go around and there's is more than 1 way to sobriety - find what works for you and stick with it.

Peace and blessings to you!

If you want AA get on the phone get to a meeting.

Although you posted this yesterday so I imagine your head is already telling you it was a one off and if you hadn't done this and they hadnt said that and if they hadn't been there none of it would have happened and maybe next time it'll be different.

your girlfriend leaving you is the least of your trouble mate if your an alcoholic. I promise it will get a hell of a lot worse. If you want sobriety phone the AA helpline and find a meeting near you. when you get there listen to what the people are saying and afterwards get an alcoholics anonymous book and read the drs opinion and pages 1-164. You wont get sober on your own.

Joe and Charlie stated three characteristics of an alcoholic:

Stabbings
Car crashes
Divorce

So far as an adult I have been through the first two-while as a youth I was stricken with divorce in the family many times.

The stabbing incident landed me in the hospital for 6 days with a tube in my chest. All the result of drinking. Did I learn from this incident? No! This was only the beginning of my last 5 years of hard partying.

Oh sorry can I just add that action is the required thing here, you have to actually go and do something as AA wont knock on your door and that while we on this board can support you, you need to speak with another alcoholic at a meeting please dont think like I did for years that thinking of going to AA is the same as actually going, one gets you sicker and the other gets you sober.

Don't take this the wrong way Danny, but you can glad this happened. It takes whatever it takes to get to the point you're at today!
Think about the answer the universe just gave you to the question: "Can I drink normally"?? A resounding NO WAY!! You don't have to beat the bushes for signs on this one.
I think you're in the right place. I'd suggest getting to an AA meeting as soon as possible as well.

I hope I do not offend you or anyone else but when is enough enough? You say you are convinced, but you have not convinced me you are. I was called Saturday Night Special at the local hospital in Lexington Park/Leonardtown, Md, cause around 11p.m to midnight every Saturday night I was coming too in the ER of the hospital getting patched up from a barroom fight. Never remembering who hit me, or why they hit me or even half the time which of the 50 odd bars in the area I was hit in.

We usually do not get sober until we are sick and tired of being sick and tired. I can understand hiding what happened right now for fear of losing a business deal but I would suggest getting into a rehab ASAP. Explain to your girl that you have a disease and need to go for treatment. The disease is called alcoholism.

I am not really sure if you are ready. Only actions speak louder than words and so far you have words and no action. While you are where you are on this business trip why not open the phone book and look for Alcoholics Anonymous in the white pages. Go to a meeting tonight. do not delay. The next time you blackout and get into a barroom fight, it may be your last time.....your girl will be going to you funeral.

>> I came to terms with the fact that I am an alcoholic.
>> However, I guess that wasn't enough ...

Yes, and that is because self-knowledge is not enough to keep us from drinking any more than our knowledge of a stomach virus might ever keep us from puking!

Here is some related experience from "Bill's Story":

"It relieved me somewhat to learn that in alcoholics the will is amazingly weakened when it comes to combating liquor, though it often remains strong in other respects. My incredible behavior in the face of a desperate desire to stop was explained. Understanding myself now, I fared forth in high hope. For three or four months the goose hung high. I went to town regularly and even made a little money. Surely this was the answer - self-knowledge.
"But it was not, for the frightful day came when I drank once more." (page 7)

>> I went to a business dinner and thought I would try the self control approach and have a couple glasses of wine.

Here is something like that from Fred's Story in Chapter Three:

"I went to my hotel and leisurely dressed for dinner. As I crossed the threshold of the dining room, the thought came to mind that it would be nice to have a couple of cocktails with dinner. That was all. Nothing more ...
"As soon as I regained my ability to think [several days later], I went carefully over that evening in Washington ...
"I had commenced to drink as carelessly as though the cocktails were ginger ale ...
"... what I had learned of alcoholism did not occur to me at all. I knew from that moment that I had an alcoholic mind. I saw that will power and self-knowledge would not help in those strange mental blank spots. I had never been able to understand people who said that a problem had them hopelessly defeated. I knew then. It was a crushing blow." (pages 41-42)

>> I would like to ask for your guidance on what my next step towards recovery is ...

Permanent recovery begins on an admission of complete defeat: There is no way we will ever be able to drink safely, and neither do we have the power to live without alcohol altogether. Then, Step Two is simply about believing there is power available to us ... and Step Three is to make a decision to abandon ourselves to taking the rest of the Steps in order to put our own lives in order while also learning to be of service to "God" and others about us.