Alcoholism Support Group

healthy relationship hmmm..whats that lol

I think a healthy relationship boils down to enjoying hearing and watching your loved one laughing or giggling.
Or when they are sick, you are really concerned and make sure they're covered up and all nice and snuggly in bed.
Going to the store at their whim for whatever they need.
Being extra quiet so they can sleep soundly.
Having a smile you didn't know you had when you came home and knew they were there.
If you can't stand the laugh, don't care if they are sick...ya got serious issues.

That's a lot of questions BBH but

Yes I do. No, mine isn't. No, I've never minded being without a mate. No, hostages? Again? Does the guy chained in the basement count? I can and I'm in one and have never 'run back' to anyone.

I can't say I'm fortunate to never have attracted either physically/mentally abusive men nor have I ever been in a serious relationship with a significant other who was dependent on any substance. I say I can't say I'm fortunate because I think there's more than fate or fortune at work when people attract or are attracted to the same type of person.

BBH, typing and biking the streets of Orlando takes some talent my friend! Be careful!

I get nowhere when I compare how I feel inside with how others look on the outside. I never know really how happily in love others may or may not be. The only relationship which really counts is the one between me and that power greater than myself. The second most important relationship is the one I have with myself. If I take care of those, all others will work out OK.

As far as I am concerned I must be rigorously honest in all my relationships. Yes I have trust issues. Yes that effects my relationships. I tell relationship partners about my issues early on in the relationship.

I try to give my partner roots, but allow her to have wings too.

I believe the best relationships are built around nourishing a partner to reach goals the partner wants to reach, not goals I have set for the partner.

IMHO, AA is a lousy dating service. On the other hand I do not stay interested for long in anyone who does not have personal growth and self improvement as a major part of her life.

when I got married I chose someone who was as sick as me-now that I am "new and improved" we are not compatible-wishes I were drunk again I think.

I think it is hard for me to imagine now what a healthy relationship with a significant other would look like. I still long for it though.

A healthy relationship is when two "whole" people both ok with themselves that have a relationship with a God of thier understanding each ok alone come together to form a couple. Both willing to put the other first not out of co-dependance or need to control but out of love and respect.

you know i was thinking earlier today. its funny how they recommend not getting into a relationship your first year. well i got into one at 3months sober. it lasted 9months and the week i got my one year, it ended. kinda weird how that happened huh?

and my guy instinct was telling me to go and get a rebound. how healthy would that have been?? now folks at work got wind that i'm single and wana set me up. i'm telling you thats the last thing i need right now. i need to focus on me and my recovery right now. but deep down inside there's a part of me that doesn't feel complete unless i'm with someone. just another character defect i think. a problem i've had in the past is that i settle...i knew the relationship wasn't good for me but i'd just settle for it thinking i can't get or deserve any better. well now its time for me. if something comes around, great, i'll deal with it when it comes. but right now, i WILL NOT seek out any kind of relationship. my goal is to enjoy my own company for a bit and be comfortable in solitude. somewhere in the big book it talks about loneliness and how it can be a time to strengthen our conscious contact. i aim to do just that.

michael, from www.TalkAboutSobriety.com

A lot of people find out more about this stuff in therapy! I was told when I got sober not to have a relationship until I was 2 years sober, when I was 2 years sober, I knew I wasn't sober enough to have a relationship.

It's really about when you stop feeling like you need one that it might be ok to have one!

I guess you are talking about romantic relationships or sexual relationships. I can't help you on that score as I have NO desire for either, so I'm outta the debate but what I do know is that I share my life with someone and it is the healthiest relationship I have ever had, she is also in recovery and are able to talk and behave like mature adults .... well, actually it's even more than that, we can live together in harmony and by spiritual principles. I think be both learned how to do that mostly in AA but also we both needed some therapy to help us too!!

UPDATE; THIS POST IS ABOUT ME! I HAD ALL OF THE ABOVE, IN SOBRIETY. TODAY, I DON'T. NOW, CAN ANYONE, RELATE????

http://www.wikihow.com/Have-a-Heal...