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Discussion:
drinking trigger
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I haven't been sober long all that long but am making progress.. When I'm busy and out at meetings or with people, I'm fine.

The hardest part for me is being long time unemployed - over 1.5 years. All the cliches that are said, just ring hallow at a point. It's amazing that it's taking me this long to find work (I have a background that does have demand). My dreams aren't of drinking, they are filled with working and being in a work environment.

I wish it would go away..and I would have a paycheck again. I'm frustrated and see how the steam valve is letting it out. I've been much shorter tempered around the house When I am thinking "go get a big bottle and f-it", I go back to basics. THe other night was pj's and dinner. With my pj's, there's no way I'd go to the store to buy booze
Posted on 03/10/13, 08:16 am
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Reply #1 - 03/10/13  8:24am
" Look at getting out and doing some volunteer work. You can help others as you help yourself. newyorkcares.org is one example. Neve know what doors will open up for you until you open a few yourself. Don't be afraid to start as a white belt and create new opportunities for yourself. "
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Reply #2 - 03/10/13  9:05am
" I went through a period of unemployment and it was awful. You have my sympathies. For me, job hunting and being unemployed felt like it was sucking out my soul. Challenging, to say the least. I ended up finding a horrible job that paid next to nothing. It was still something that helped me get up and moving. I ended up back in a professional job -- much better for the mind.... and the wallet!

Keep working at it -- I think you'll find new opportunities will come your way. With sobriety we tend to be able to turn our lives around in other ways as well. Just might take longer than you'd like.

I like Coogie's idea of volunteering to get (or stay) reconnected. "
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Reply #3 - 03/10/13  9:13am
" I think being unable to work is a difficult thing. I have known many people who are not alcoholics really struggle with their emotions when unemployed. Depression, irritability, fear etc all difficult for anyone and I know when i was in early recovery every feeling and situation was difficult to deal with.

I have been unable to work for quite a while due to ill health and sometimes it is hard. Self esteem, a sense of being useful, filling time, fear of the future, financial issues are just some of the things I have had to deal with. I agree with CM about volunteering. I think it is important not to have too much time on our hands, to be in a position to feel useful and productive and to finish our day with the satisfaction that we have contributed something. If I cant work then I have to find another way of fulfilling those needs. Having not been able to work for a long time and being restricted by illness I am not always in a position to be able to do that but I know that I feel better emotionally when I can. "
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Reply #4 - 03/10/13  9:22am
" The other thing about volunteer work, is that it can lead to a job. good luck. I can empathise with your upset about being unemployed, I was for a while. "
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Reply #5 - 03/10/13  9:24am
" Some good ideas there for you - have you tried to get some temporary work at all? Temping can be great as it can often lead to an offer of permanent employment. If they like you, they'll call you back again anyway even if there are no leads to a permanent position.

I think any way a person can be helpful to others is great, even if you can't be paid for it, you get rewarded in other - and sometimes unexpected - ways! "
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Reply #6 - 03/10/13  2:59pm
" I was under employed for 3 years ....about 9 years ago. It was horrible on my self esteem given so much of my self worth was found outside me at that time.
I went into AA though with a hugely successful career. On the top of my career I was drinking myself into oblivion every night. Before AA life was a "trigger" for me. I no longer believe in triggers but life does throw curve balls.
I've found gratitude the best remedy for me. Also reaching out to those in need both in and out of the rooms of AA.
It gets me out of my head and focused on someone else. A great thing for this drunk. "
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Reply #7 - 03/10/13  10:13pm
" I can totally relate! I lost a great full-time job nearly 5 years ago, and have been working part-time here and there ever since. Some days I'm called in, other days not. I start getting really anxious when several days in a row go by and nothing. I spend many days in my pajamas.

It's a different world now as far a job hunting goes, too. Everything online, you spend hours filling out applications, rewriting cover letters, tweaking resumes, and sending them off into cyberspace, then waiting to hear back, and getting nothing but crickets in response.

I've made a job of getting a job, but the pay sucks! I keep waiting for something to come along so I can define myself again. It just feels like purgatory. Like that part in the Dr. Suess book, Oh the Places You'll Go, that talks about the doldrums.

I've become quite the blogger. Joined a professional organization online, and participate in frequent discussions pertaining to my field. It's really hard to just BE where I AM.

Interestingly, none of this has made me feel like drinking. Perhaps it's because I have a pretty solid foundation in AA, and I do my best to find work, which is all anyone can ask. I don't love that I'm "exactly where I'm supposed to be" right now, because I'm not sure quite how to respond. I'm not always sure what the next right thing to do is, but I'm quite sure of one thing it isn't: drinking.

It sucks to be over 50 and unemployed, but it would suck worse to over 50, unemployed, and drunk.

Hang in there. One day at a time isn't only about staying sober. It's about living life, too. "
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Reply #8 - 03/10/13  10:29pm
" Good thinking to get into your pj's so you won't go buy a bottle. Whatever works.

One thing is for sure - if you drink - that will not help in any capacity. It will make things worse because you will feel that you have let yourself down.

My suggestion would be to not get into your pj's but rather head for a meeting when you are feeling like drinking. That has always helped me get over the desire to drink.

Good luck with this - you can do it - sometimes just one hour at a time - but you can do this. "
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Reply #9 - 03/11/13  6:55am
" thanks for all the comments. For us 50 years old men, the job market isn't a cup of tea.

I have today and continue to trudge this road of happy destiny. "

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