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Uncovering triggers: avoid those hidden land mines
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Reading this evening from my book, "Twenty-four Hours A Day", I looked back on some days I missed and was floored to read about my biggest trigger on November 22: "One of the hardest things that a new member of A.A. has to understand is how to stay sober and not be bored. Drinking was always the answer to all kinds of boring people or boring situations." THAT IS ME! How did I not see that before? But that's not all. My other biggest problem right now that seems to be relentlessly rearing its ugly head is the dysfunctional and unhealthy dynamic between my husband and my daughter, with me stuck in the middle. That's another demon that begs me to drink. Drown the boredom, drown the misery, right? I just can't anymore. I've progressed enough in my disease that the boredom doesn't go away.....I just numb out then pass out, and the misery becomes a thousand-fold when I wake up again. So now I just have to feel it and walk through it. "God, help me, please!"
Posted on 11/26/12, 12:44 am
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Reply #1 - 11/26/12  5:11am
" As an AA I understand that so-called "triggers" are just excuses I give myself to drink and the state of mind is a symptom of the spiritual malady. My AA literature doesn't mention triggers at all.

My AA BB tells me that once the spiritual malady is overcome I straighten out mentally and physically. I found that to be true when I went through the steps with a sponsor. Now I wonder how I ever had the time to be bored or waste energy trying to change the things I cannot change.

What Step are you on? "
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Reply #2 - 11/26/12  11:47am
" hi Scrappy! Welcome back!

I, like Scouser, don't know today, how I ever found time to drink!

I remember my sponsor telling me my family was dysfunctional. I got so mad! I didn't realize how big a role I had in creating much of the chaos in my home. The BB states "years of living with an alcoholic will make any family neurotic". So true.

For an alcoholic, an idle mind really is the devil's workshop. In the beginning, I found ways to stay busy but I also jumped into AA with both feet and found a sponsor to guide me through the 12 Steps. The BB is right on. I love the 10th Step promises.

I too, never had a reason to drink, I just manufactured excuses and then blamed others for it. I hope you jump back into AA this time and utilize all the tools provided, especially working the 12 Steps. That's what AA is all about.

If not AA, I hope you can find a program of recovery in other avenues. "
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Reply #3 - 11/26/12  5:52pm
" Great responses so far - can't add much more, except to say that I too found boredom something that I justified myself to drink over. But looking back, here are the facts: because my drinking cause me to lose jobs, lose my friends, lose my wife's desire to take me anywhere lest I embarrass her, lose interest in hobbies, etc. I had nothing left to do *but* drink. I created my own space to drink. So boredom didn't have anything to do with it. It's not like boredom dropped on me - I created that space to protect my drinking.

Having worked (and continue to work) the steps as outlined in the book Alcoholics Anonymous, I don't have time to be bored! My life if stuffed with stuff I need to do and like to do. "
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Reply #4 - 11/26/12  9:50pm
" I am with scouser on this one - don't believe in triggers, they're just an excuse to go and drink. Working the 12 step programme has removed all thoughts of drinking and no vicissitude has 'triggered me yet and I don't believe that it's likely to either.

You can recover from alcoholism then you won't need a set of 'triggers'! "
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Reply #5 - 11/26/12  11:13pm
" I love Scouser's response.
I don't believe in "triggers" as if I did...air, breath, being conscious could all be "triggers" for me.
I am amazed with all life has to offer when we wake up, open up, and learn to live in the moment. How I dealt with life with a hang over, let alone drunk, baffles me now.
I come from a truly dysfunctional family. AA is teaching me the tools on how to do the least harm, how to intuitively know the next right thing, and when I don't (and especially when I *think* I do) I have a sponsor to run it by, steps to work, and a God that I believe strongly in to pray to for guidance. All in all a pretty amazing deal. "
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Reply #6 - 11/27/12  10:06pm
" Thank you. It is so true, once bored I spin out of control. Granted it is nice to relax once and a while, but I need activity.

Thank you for this post "

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