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Hello everyone. I've been doing what I believe is called "lurking" here for the last few weeks, kind of getting a feel for this little community. You have all been helpful to me as I struggle with my alcoholism. I thought I'd introduce myself and hopefully I will have something to offer someone out there. I got into drinking in college and never really stopped. Back then it was all fun and games, partying, good times. But I've been out of college for 5 years now and I realized about 2 years ago that I have a problem. It's not fun anymore. It's sitting in my bedroom alone drinking just to drink. I'm a really shy person and alcohol used to make me feel so powerful. Now it just makes me sadder and lonelier. I stopped drinking in January after a week long binge around New Year's and I suffered withdrawals when I came down from it. I had about 4 months sober but started drinking again in June. I haven't told anyone about my problem and I am trying to stop on my own, however unwise I realize that to be. I'm a closet drinker and I a combination of ego, pride, and shame are holding me back from saying anything. But I am determined to do this. I can control my actions today and all I know is that I am not going to drink today. Thank you all again for sharing your experiences. I'm currently reading The Big Book and I know the next step is to get to a meeting (I did an online meeting today).
Posted on 08/16/12, 01:55 pm |
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One foot in front if the other, you're making positive moves but that ego thing can really get in the way. Sometimes that's the hardest part and why you've got to get rid of that baggage and turn it all over to what ever a higher power is for you. Until you let go, it will keep a grip on you. Good luck, at least you've admitted to yourself, thats a big step. Congradulations! 
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Welcome, glad to see you have identified the problem and wiling to do something about.
Your not alone and there is a solution!
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Hi and welcome. I am also new here, but I find it really helps to communicate with people who have been where you are and know what you are going through. It is not easy, but we are working toward a better life. Stay strong and best of luck to you.
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Good on you for trying to sort this out. Life is so much better without drinking.
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I did the same thing you did and buy the Big Book first and then go to a meeting eventually.
Good luck on your journey!
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Hi and welcome to the forum,
You're smart to see that drinking will take you to a nasty place and that you CAN control your actions. Good for you for reading the Big Book and checking out an online meeting. Keep yourself headed every day/minute in the direction of sobriety and you'll soon experience the joy, calm, confidence and creativity that sobriety brings. Onward!
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Thanks for the support everyone!
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