Alcoholism Support Group

Welcome.
I'm not sure though why you'd come to an "alcoholism" board and look for help moderating your drinking?
For me, as an alcoholic, that's not possible. Its like trying to get a little pregnant. There is no amount of alcohol, in any form, that I can ingest moderately, safely, for any period of time.
So for me, its complete abstinence and I wouldnt have it any other way.

We all need to decide if we are alcoholic, or not. The very sad thing is that many alcoholics, perhaps most, are out there in the world convinced they arent alcoholics. They, like me when I was drinking, just kept lowering the bar of what was / is acceptable drinking or behaviour when drinking.
I finally realized that the elevator was going DOWN, one way, and fast, so I got off. Completely off.

Good luck with your journey.

Recovery means complete abstinence from alcohol, not "casual drinking".

I had to come to my own conclusions too dne. But don't mistake recovery with drinking. It's an oxymoron.

Cutting back is OK if it works for you. Didn't for me. I still ended up drunk wondering why and how...

Thanks for everyone's input! I think it's interesting what everyone's view of recovery is. It means something different to everyone.

I should also mention, that I wasn't looking for whether I was doing the right or wrong thing, by cutting back. I'm asking for suggestions on "where should i go from here"

My best advice would be to try cutting back - if you can do it then thats great and if you cant then maybe thats not the way to go.

Hello dneperk,

You are probably asking the wrong people about tips on reducing your drinking because most of the people who frequent this site do so because they could not reduce or control their drinking. You may or may not belong to that category but that is something you will have to decide for yourself. Whether you’re doing the right thing or not is also a matter for yourself and not the concern of anyone here. I will try to relate some facts about alcoholism to you and you may then be in a better position to make a decision.

This may be boring to some but it is vitally important for you to understand how alcoholism develops. The first thing that happens is that you acquire a fondness for drinking and the affect that alcohol has on you. It may be that taking a few drinks will help you to cope with unpleasant thoughts or difficult people or maybe even to get to sleep at night. You will drink occasionally in order to feel better and it will work for most of the time. Then, over a period of time a subtle change takes place and you will probably be the last person to notice it. You will go from drinking because you think that it helps you to relax and feel better to a frame of mind where you think that you can’t relax or feel good without having alcohol in the system; you will have developed a mental obsession for alcohol. It is possible that you are at that point now but only you can decide.

The mental obsession alone would not make someone an alcoholic. Something else happens to the one in ten drinkers that become alcoholics that never happens to the average drinker. Somewhere along the way, the person who was a heavy drinker goes on to develop an abnormal physical reaction to alcohol. This produces a strong craving in the body (not the mind) once a drink is taken. The only way to satisfy the craving is to have another drink and the second drink increases the craving still further. That is why one or two drinks are never enough to an alcoholic. Drinking alone every night to get drunk is possibly a sign that you have developed that craving.

There is no drug or medical process known to science that can reverse this abnormal physical reaction to alcohol. Therefore, the saying ‘once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic’ is completely true. Proof of this comes from the cases of alcoholics who have been sober for long periods of time, sometimes several decades and who decide that they can take a couple of drinks to celebrate some special occasion. Within a very short time such people are back to being as bad as they were before they stopped drinking. Cutting back or controlling their drinking is no longer an option for people who have developed this condition and the reason for that is that the craving develops immediately once a drink is taken, regardless of how long the person has been sober.

The physical change that causes the craving cannot be reversed but fortunately, the obsession of the mind which drives such people to take the first drink can be removed. If the first drink can be avoided the craving can never again develop. The solution to the problem therefore is to find some means of changing the thinking which leads to the first drink. The approach that people take to this can differ and what works for one individual may be useless to another. Religion, Smart Recovery, Rational Recovery and I am sure many other things work for different people. However, for very many alcoholics those things do not work and these people need a solution which looks more at the causes of their drinking and offers a way to bring about a radical change in their outlook on life. This is the solution that has been developed by Alcoholics Anonymous and it has been found to work for anyone who wants to work it, providing that they are prepared to be honest with themselves.

Therefore, I would suggest that you do some controlled drinking. Take a couple of drinks most nights and no more; go some nights without drinking at all. If you can do this and still feel happy and relaxed about your drinking then I would say that you don’t have a problem. However, since you are here looking for tips on how to reduce your drinking I fear that you will struggle. Then it will be important for you to be honest with yourself.

Basically, no one likes to admit this, but what we're all doing amounts to disease management, not recovery. Recovery would be a return to the way life was before the onset of alcoholism. What we've done is figured out a way to stop our illness from killing us for now, by abstaining from alcohol, and in some cases implementing a cognitive and behavioral program (AA,, rational recovery, etc) to make life less miserable and improve our chances of staying sober. You may want to check out the hot new thing, the ”Sinclair Method”, which claims be able to actually beat this disease, but I hear that ain't all it's cracked up to be either. If you find a way to actually recover, you will be a billionaire... Or you will be assassinated by the vested interests in the 12 step industry before your vision can become a reality

I can't have just one.

Ditto Nicky's post #6. I used to volunteer with an agency, helping 'problem drinkers' in my own early-ish sobriety. Some people found it useful to be given information and advice on how to reduce and then stop, or how to control their drinking long term.

Many more knew from the start this was not for them, or after repeated attempts finally decided they couldn't do it and sought other help.

I no longer give people advice on how to control their drinking. It doesn't feel authentic, because it was never succesful for me. It's like asking a career convict how to succesfully rob a bank - "well, this is how I WOULD have done it!".

If someone else wants to try and can do it, I say good luck to them.