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General Discussions   DailyStrength.org - So much for 3.5 years. :-(

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So much for 3.5 years. :-(
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Fuck.

After thinking about it for some time (months and months) I finally relapsed and now I've blown 3.5 years clean. I keep thinking "I'll quit after this one" but so far it's been five days and I've not maneged to stop.

And then all my old manic bipolar symptoms are cropping up again.
Posted on 07/27/12, 04:51 pm
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Reply #1 - 07/27/12  5:06pm
" praying for you to stop and begin again. Now is your now to stop. "
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Reply #2 - 07/27/12  5:06pm
" Begin again to be sober. "
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Reply #3 - 07/27/12  5:08pm
" Can you get to a meeting today? "
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Reply #4 - 07/27/12  5:08pm
" Thanks Sandy. I have one more little bottle of Red Label sitting here and as I'm sure you can identify, I just can't throw it out. I have to finish it.

I did, for the record, buy then throw out two bottles of red wine the other day, but only in that next-morning-hangover feeling.

:-( "
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Reply #5 - 07/27/12  5:09pm
" Whdathunk - yeah, I can. I live in a city where there are lots. The hard part is going to be calling my sponsor, then putting up my hand at my home group during the "Who's coming back?"

Everyone thought I was pretty stable — was the group secretary for a year, am now the business meeting sec'y and Grapevine rep.

It's just embarrassing, that's all. "
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Reply #6 - 07/27/12  5:11pm
" it happens, don't let embarrassment keep you from getting back there. Your recovery the second time around can be just what someone needs to hear about one day.
Go today. "
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Reply #7 - 07/27/12  5:19pm
" Dont let pride keep you away. Hopefully your sponsor is pretty switched on and will help you look at the steps and what you hadnt done or had stopped doing esp in terms of fit spiritual condition. "
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Reply #8 - 07/27/12  5:19pm
" Yeah, don't let your pride get in the way. Took me nine years to get back to AA. It gets freakin ugly. "
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Reply #9 - 07/27/12  5:21pm
" Struggling, you will be an inspiration to others in your group. I am only 9 months plus into this. The day I got my chip a guy who was several years sober raised his hand to "fess up to his group" and to start over. He was humiliated but so warmly accepted, as we do to our fellow alcoholics. He inspired me both by his tenure of sobriety as well as his coming right after his relapse. Don't feel so bad. You now know that you have it in you to put together such a long stretch. "
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Reply #10 - 07/27/12  5:30pm
" "I have one more little bottle of Red Label sitting here and as I'm sure you can identify, I just can't throw it out. I have to finish it. "

That I can identify with. Drink or no drink, time for a meeting right? If we could sort ourselves before we went to AA, we probably wouldn't need it.

One Paul to another. "
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