Alcoholism Support Group

Welcome and I can very much relate to the behavior and the disgust of family members (and friends in my case).

What are you willing to do to not act like that anymore? That's the question. I had to suck it up, swallow my pride, and do what I needed to do to get sober. The last thing I wanted to do was walk back into the rooms of AA. Thank God I did. It saved my life.

This support group might help to get things off your chest and vent a little bit, but doubtful it will get you sober or keep you sober.

Face-to-face support is best.

Avery,

If it's any comfort, virtually all of us felt we were very private persons, or at least that's the label we used to put a socially acceptable spin on our terrible need to isolate ourselves in secret misery. For us relief began, and only began, when we opened up to others like ourselves.

Where do you start?

Depends on what you want.

If you want to get over what happened, you can wait a few days, reach out and apologize and they might forgive you. Then the next time hopefully you won't drink as much. But sooner or later you will do the same or worse around them, and they will feel disgusted again and you will feel horrible again.

Or you can drink tonight to help forget about what happened. That might work for a few hours. I did that for years.

I finally realized I had to quit -- and for me it took a lot more than realizing that I might ruin a family relationship. Are you at that point?

When I hit that point -- when I had to quit -- I recognized that I was the one who picked up a drink and I was the one who had to put it down. I did not go to meetings or join a program because at the end of the day, I was the one responsible for my drinking. I am telling you this, not because I think AA is a bad idea, but because too many people use not wanting to do a program as an excuse to keep drinking.

It is a big step to admit to yourself you have a problem with alcohol. It is an even bigger step to do something about it.

Where is your head at with this? Do you see yourself quitting?

I had many occasions like this where I was banished from my family so completely get where you are coming from. The thing is, none of these episodes ever stopped me from taking that next drink. I couldn't do it for others, I had to do it for myself. It took me to walk into the rooms of AA and to start to listen to what was on offer and then be prepared to follow the suggestions. This involved me taking some action.

What action are you going to take to get sober?

If nothing changes, nothing changes.

I know how you feel. It's so humiliating what we do. But there is a Higher Power out there who loves you no matter how horrible you have been. You have a disease that you can't fight alone. Only the love of God can save you! AA may be a good place to start but there is a world beyond that!

Hello sadAvery,

Welcome to the club. I too was a very private person and believed that my drinking was nobody’s business but mine. The very last crowd that I wanted to have anything to do with was those AA people and their meetings. Well, I worked very hard at finding a way out of my dilemma when I knew that I had to stop drinking and found that I could not.

When all else failed I contacted AA email support and the kind lady who replied said: “Go to a meeting – you won’t regret it”. That was the end of my sad and private little drinking world.

There is a great life waiting for you but you have to reach out and grab it.

Good for your brother for speaking his mind versus simply brushing this under the rug. Sometimes we all need a big smack upside the head to alter our course in life. You've seen a lot of advice on the AA route already. My thinking is you need to reach out to your brother in the not-to-distant future at a neutral place and have a discussion. For him to say something, he may be angry but is there a chance that he also really cares?

I started by coming on here and admitting I was an alcoholic. I drank for 3 more days, then plugged the jug. By day 7 without a drink I was ready to die, kill or drink; so I went to my first meeting despite my social anxiety and highly introverted nature. Turns out it was a pretty good idea I guess. I haven't had a drink since and that was almost 3 years ago.

Well you are here. You've just admitted to a forum of strangers, and to yourself, that you can't "handle" alcohol. So question is now what do you do about that?
It took me a year or so of popping in and out of this forum, to get to a level of self hatred and demoralization to get up the courage to go into an AA meeting in "real life." I wanted to find another way. I wanted to do anything but quit drinking, or to keep drinking, is what it came down to. So totally confused, I went to AA. I was horrified that someone might see me, recognize me, it was all "me me me." What I've found is incredible support and identification. I live in a relatively small community and I've bumped into parents of friends of my kids, etc. But we are all there for a common solution to a common problem. Its all GOOD.

Thank you all for the encouragement I truly appreciate it and am taking it to heart, mind and soul. I have already looked up places for AA meetings near me, unfortunately I am going on a business trip tomorrow through Sunday. I know I will not drink while I am away and perhaps this will give me the time to bolster my courage so when I come back - I will go to a meeting.
Thank you so very much for all the support I really needed to know I am not alone right now.
I will check out the AA site too I would like to know what to expect before I go to a meeting . Thank you all again and God Bless