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when life is more then we can bare.
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I guess most of you know by now that I am going through a nasty divorce, and that's not the half of it!
I made one more meeting this week and plan to go to more. The words I hear often have no affect, going in one ear and out the other. I am slowly losing my interest in things and ultimately in life in general. I am so use to being a nice guy but now now I am being taken advantage of because of my big heart. In order to get what I deserve in the divorce settlement, I have to go back to being the A hole, I was when I was drinking. But I don;t want to and I don't know any other way. My sponser said if I can make it through this, I can make it through anything. He also said to bend over and take it like a man! How humiliating! I want a drink so bad! Posted on 07/02/12, 11:07 am |
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Do what you have to do, Bob. There are plenty of people who have been in your shoes and gotten through it. Sober. Reach out to them.
Things could always be worse. You've got your health, right? Be thankful for something. 
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I went through a divorce too and it was hell! I was ready to blow my head off! But I got through it and I relapsed a few times through the whole thing and that did not help matters one bit. In fact i gave my ex more ammo to work with. But in the end I got my daughter and my car and that was all I wanted anyway. I signed the house over to him and a few months later he lost it thrugh forclosure. You will get through it. Don't drink because it don't make it easier! I know how you feel. Keep it simply like a business deal. Try to keep the emotion out of it! Hard to do but that was the advice I was given. Good luck and someday soon you'll look back and wonder how you did it but you will!
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I think somewhere in the BB or 12&12 it says we don't bow and scrape before anyone. I think that applies to divorce settlements. Just make sure that what you think you "deserve" is actually what you earned.
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Hey Bob,
I remember not too long ago, getting stuck into the idea that I don't have to be a nice guy, and that doesn't necessarily mean being a nasty guy. In some ways, they were two sides of the same coin for me. Sure you'll get through this anyway - reach out if you need it. P
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Bob, you say you've been in AA for a few years now. If you want to drink, now is the time to call your sponsor or another sober friend, dontcha think?
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You can stand up for yourself without being an a-hole. Don't let her walk all over you.
You are a good guy, and it is okay to not give in to her demands, but to push back. She is the one who decided to cheat and walk away. Take care of you -- NO DRINKING, okay? Even if you lose everything, keep your sobriety. It is yours. you earned it. You deserve it.
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Coming from experience, drinking won't help. If a divorce is the best of your problems, consider yourself grateful
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Thanks for your responses. I keep in touch with my sponser daily but often feel like I need more support then what he is able to give and that is why I am here.
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bob, why not hit meetings? I have hit up to 4 a day before
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