Alcoholism Support Group

Boy oh boy. You are telling my story when I drank. Isn't it funny how we rationalize and justify taking that first drink? I totally hear ya.

I think reply #2 is a good idea. Even better would be to hit an AA meeting right after work. You'll meet some amazing people who have been where you are and who have escaped that alcoholic hell.

Totally can relate. My own denial kept me stuck in my disease for years after I knew there was a real problem.
For me, denial was and is a huge part of my alcoholism. I needed AA to help me see the truth. I go to meeting primarily so that others can show me my truth. I've heard it said many times, and believe it, Alcoholism is the only disease that tries to convince you that you don't have it.

Here are a few links that talk about the same concept:

http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/en_...
http://alcoholism.about.com/cs/info...

Wine is my vice too. You can't drink any. Don't take that first sip. You will realize this for yourself soon and not deny it. Hopefully you won't lose your job, relationship, etc..before you figure it out. I have almost destroyed everything. I am sill trying to rebuild relationships. It is hard, but possible.

I would definately try not getting the wine and do something else for a while.If you find you are unable to do this then you know whether you have a problem with alcohol or not.If your life has become or is becoming unmanagable because of it its something to take a look at in a sober state of mind...There is help and you are not alone!

It doesn't sound like you are in denial....sounds like you have a problem and want to quit. Go for it!! You will learn new ways to deal with "5 o'clock"

Not sure on the denial front. I mean, denial to me would be you believing you don't have a problem or are not even reflecting on your drinking. You're doing that, now the choices are out there to end up in a better place.

My advice is to consider doing something else with that 5pm slot. Do you like to walk? That alone is great exercise and can shift some of the work stress. It's summer so walking outside is fantastic and if you put that into a pattern and habit it can turn your energy. Ever try something like boxing or kickboxing -- tell you what, if you're having a bad day at work, it feels pretty damn good to knock the you know what out of an object -- try it.

Another thing to consider is not having an alcohol in the house - it's amazing how that simple choice can help support your not drinking. I find it works well for me with other things like a big bag of potato chips as there's no way I can eat just one and then feel lousy after polishing off half of a family sized bag. No chips in the house - guess what, I don't then eat any.

Also, you may want to consider getting in with a good therapist.

I did the same as you after work.I prayed.I realised I didn't have to drink for 5 mins,1 hour,tonight.I could drink tomorrow.I haven't licked it yet.I drink at the weekend.But I gave up daily drinking.It's really hard.

That denial never magically disappeared for me. I had to get accountable to other people and lean on them for help when I started getting insane. A lot of people here helped me and later a lot of people in AA.

For me, I just had to keep trying and then like you I would eventually start putting multiple days together. Unfortunately, I started binging pretty badly which brought on more pain than ever before and I upped my efforts. Some quit cold, but for me it was try and try again - each time I did something differently.

My best suggestion would be to get some help from AA because their solution is the only thing that has made my continuous sobriety possible. After a few years of that denial that you describe, I ended up in rehab for 2 months and haven't had a drink since - almost a year and a half ago.

Another suggestion I would make, if you are not ready for something like AA, is to seek out some counseling. Some of us have reasons that we can't cope with sobriety. I was in a marriage that I refused to see as part of the problem - more denial. Ending that relationship was a big help in my getting sober. It wasn't THE reason I drank, but it was making sobriety much harder to sustain.

Good luck.

Yesterday morning I reached out to you for help. I am so glad I did. I did not drink anything yesterday.

A few of you used the word "obsession" or "obsessing" over drinking. This word and view of the issues and problems I am having was in particular very helpful to me. I now know I am obsessed with the option of having some wine (in my thinking/justification) to relax and calm down. For me I am obsessed with it as a justified reward after a long stressful day at work.

On the AA meetings suggestions. 30 years ago when I was 23 years old I rented a room in boarding house. The owner, who also lived the house, was a 50 year old man who was trying to stop drinking for the 1st time in his life. He was beginning to try to go to AA regularly. I was not a drinker in my life at that point, but many days he would ask me to go with him to his AA meeting --- he said he really wanted to go but for whatever reason he would not go alone. He was my friend and I wanted to help him so I went with him.

I bring this up mainly to say through the 10-15 meetings I sat in on back in the 1980's by supporting him, I learned much about AA meetings and some about the steps, the book(s), the value and importance of sponsors, and other valuable resources and helping mechanisms that AA provides. For a few years now I have tried to drink much less and half a dozen times I have tried to quit drinking --- during these times I do not even think about AA and for some reason I have trouble opening my mind to considering going even though I know it could be really help me.

GotTheGroove2001 suggested I read parts of the "Big Book". That sounds like an excellent idea. I should quickly get this book and read the "they stopped in time" section he suggested. Thanks GTG. I should read more of it too of course.

I told my wife yesterday morning just before I started this post I wanted to get serious about dealing with my problem, so I joined this support group because I knew the ideas, support, and the "I've been there" advice I could benefit from. I think this group is a very good start and think the "Big Book" purchase quickly will be an excellent action for me also.

I may join AA soon also. I am curious about their online meetings. I know myself very well. I can see myself going to an online meeting regularly or daily, but I honestly do not believe I will attend a local in person meeting regularly. I see at www.aaonline.net that they have a meeting at 6:30pm every day.

Thank you so much for all of your replies and your HELP.

HaveDenial (and I now know I have an "obsession" too)

one of the best books I've ever read on alcoholism is Sober and Staying that Way by Susan Powter.informative great sense of humour and you will recognize all thefeelings that everyone with denial goes through.We talk ourselves into a lot of things, we say we can handle it all but it only gets worse.It's all about the first drink.because after that the rest are a given.