Advertisement




More DailyStrength
Health Event Calendar
See what's new on the site
Step-by-step Tutorials
How to use DailyStrength
We're on Facebook
Check out our page
Follow us on Twitter
Read our tweets
Get Cool DS Stuff!!!!!
Shirts, Hats, Baby Wear
Discussion:
New Here
Watch this 
View More Posts Ignore
Hello everyone,

I've enjoyed reading alot of these posts. I come here today looking for some support, to hope to not feel alone.

Today is day 6 that I have not had a drink. I've been toying with the thought of choosing not to drink for over a year now. I struggle with the fact that I have a "drinking problem" I'm not a frequent drinker, I drink once a month, if that...i drink socially with friends, I have a job and a family, and meet all my responsibilities.

BUT...yes, there is always a BUT isn't there? When i drink, i drink big, and have no shut off...most often I drink till i can't drink anymore, and black out. I've spent months and months rationalizing that maybe when I drink I should stick to just a few...which on occasion i am able to do. I will say that I never intend to drink so heavily, i just lose my filter after a few...and keep going and going and going. It upsets my significant other, my children. Though I only drink out of the house, they see me the next day, they see my SO upset with me.

My father was an alcoholic, and died when he relapsed one night after a long period of sobriety. He called me to pick him up, I could tell he had been drinking, and said "Dad you have been drinking, the kids are home, I will see you in the morning, I love you" Well, he continued to drink, and died of aspiration...at 54! I live with that pain, that guilt of not picking him up, the fear of ending up like my Dad.

So...i've babbled on here for far too long. At this point i'm resolving that I...Kristene...am an alcoholic. I have not drank today...and day by day I will see how it goes. I have gone to one AA meeting, and am thinking about going to another this weekend. I'm a little overwhelmed by the religious component to AA, but am going to give it a go...maybe finding my higher power will help me.

Ok...I'm really done now...thanks for listening :)
Posted on 03/30/12, 09:21 am
10 Replies Add Your Reply
Reminder: This is a support group for Alcoholism. We trust you will do your best to remain positive and helpful. For more information, see our rules of the road.

You may also create your own Member Groups where you can moderate the discussion.
Comment:
Email me when others reply to this topic help
View More Posts Ignore
Reply #1 - 03/30/12  9:43am
" Welcome! :)
Among today’s incoming A.A. members, many have never reached the advanced stages of alcoholism, though given time all might have.

Most of these fortunate ones have had little or no acquaintance with delirium, with hospitals, asylums, and jails. Some were drinking heavily, and there had been occasional serious episodes. But with many, drinking had been little more than a sometimes uncontrollable nuisance. Seldom had any of these lost either health, business, family, or friends.

Why do men and women like these join A.A.?

The seventeen who now tell their experiences answer that question. They saw that they had become actual or potential alcoholics, even though no serious harm had yet been done.
They realized that repeated lack of drinking control, when they really wanted control, was the fatal symptom that spelled problem drinking. This, plus mounting emotional disturbances, convinced them that compulsive alcoholism already had them; that complete ruin would be only a question of time.

Seeing this danger, they came to A.A. They realized that in the end alcoholism could be as mortal as cancer; certainly no sane man would wait for a malignant growth to become fatal before seeking help.

Therefore, these seventeen A.A.’s, and hundreds of thousands like them, have been saved years of infinite suffering. They sum it up something like this: “We didn’t wait to hit bottom because, thank God, we could see the bottom. Actually, the bottom came up and hit us. That sold us on Alcoholics Anonymous.”
Part Two, Stories..AA's Big Book

Billy "
View More Posts Ignore
Reply #2 - 03/30/12  9:49am
" Welcome Kris, hope you are able to get something positive from being here. I was like you, I didnt seem to have a reliable cut off switch when it came to drinking. I could tell myself and promise other people that I wasnt going to get drunk and I really meant it but once I started I couldnt stop at will it was something that seemed outside my control. The only solution I have been able to find is not to drink at all. I couldnt seem to acheive that by choice alone either but have done it through the 12 step program of AA.

Try not to see AA as being about religion - there are no requirements to believe in any set idea of a higher power or spiritual path. It is about spirituality not religion.

Any questions, just ask. "
View More Posts Ignore
Reply #3 - 03/30/12  11:23am
" Hi, Kristene, Welcome!

I'm sorry you lost your dad to alcoholism -- but you are not responsible for his death. I know how tough it is to lose someone to alcoholism -- seems like such a waste. Glad you don't want to go down that path.

I also did not have an "off switch." For me, moderation was stopping at 5 or 6 drinks when I was with others, though once I was at home, I would drink more.

I am not in AA, but I wish you luck with it. "
View More Posts Ignore
Reply #4 - 03/30/12  11:59am
" Welcome. I'm sorry to learn about your dad. I'm also sorry you are going through the hell of drinking, when you don't want to drink. I'm a mom to three young kids. I tried to moderate, sometimes (and I do mean really only sometimes) I could stop after a few but usually when I drank, which was almost every night in the end, I drank an entire bottle of wine. There was no control, and I wanted to stop, but I couldnt get off the roller coaster that is active alcoholism. I felt so awful for being a drunk mom, and though my kids don't seem to remember, and didnt see me drunk, I did and I do.
I've been sober for a few days over a year with AA. It feels amazing even when I have a bad day. I'm able to find some serenity and I have tons of hope, and a program that is as progressive as this f'ng awful disease.
Maybe try a meeting?? "
View More Posts Ignore
Reply #5 - 03/30/12  12:51pm
" Alcoholism is a disease. A disease that will take you to the gates of insanity or death. Without help it is too much for us. If just putting down the drink were so easy. We wouldnt need AA.
We sometimes have to rethink ouir conceptions of Alcoholics Anonymous. One of the basic things that I tell my newcomers is .We can agree that alcohol is indeed a power than ourselves. That Alcoholics Anonymous is even a bigger power than alcohol. We have never asked anybody to believe or worship or acknowledge and kind of God.. All we ask is that you consider that there is a power greater than alcohol, greater than yourself. You believe in what you want to belive but you have to belive in something. It seems to this alcoholic that you have been blessed with many things. A family , a career, good health, and alcoholism.Would you be hesitant to thank a higher power for all your blessings? Probably not. But with those positive blessings theres that negative blessing of alcoholism that will gladly take all of those positives away from you.. Reconsider AA . Because theres so much more to getting sober than just not drinking.
Greg "
View More Posts Ignore
Reply #6 - 03/30/12  1:57pm
" Welcome. You're not alone. The first one gets us whether we were daily or periodic drinkers. It will kill us either way. "
View More Posts Ignore
Reply #7 - 03/30/12  2:57pm
" Here's a warm welcome Kris,

My experience is that it's so much easier to just not drink at all, and not only is it easier, there's a wealth of gifts that come with it - a new inner confidence and strength, more energy, clearer thinking, more money, more free time, better skin...

Let us know how you're doing! "
View More Posts Ignore
Reply #8 - 03/30/12  8:24pm
" welcome your not alone now....hugs bill "
View More Posts Ignore
Reply #9 - 03/30/12  8:33pm
" 6 days is awesome. Keep it up. I am at 60 something days. Deffinately try to hit a meeting. Don't worry about the religous aspect. You might ask yourself if you believe in a higher power. If you do then you are off to the right start. Truth is you already are. You can do it. If it takes 2 meetings a day then do it. People are there it help. Your higher power will come to you in your own way and it will deffinately help you. Hang in there. Some days its one day at a time others its one hour at a time then there are days when its just one minute or second at a time. If you can get thru now you can get thru the next. Like I said hang in there cuz its worth it. "
View More Posts Ignore
Reply #10 - 03/31/12  7:23am
" Welcome Kristene.Sorry to hear about your Dad.You re doing well.Keep it up :) "

Add Your Reply
Advertisement


More From Around the Web